


Any Colour You Like

by officialarrow



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Any Colour You Like - Pink Floyd, Eventual explict content, F/M, Strong Language
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-17
Updated: 2016-04-02
Packaged: 2018-05-14 12:35:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 52,924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5744098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/officialarrow/pseuds/officialarrow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The day Felicity Smoak meets her new boss, Oliver Queen, is also the day she meets the vigilante that roams the street, known as the Arrow. While Oliver is rude and cruel to her, the Arrow is kind and polite. As her head and heart flickers between the two mysterious men, she gets to know them both on a deeper level. Oliver is a broken man that lives in the light of day but struggles to show her the affection she needs and refuses to give her the future she wants. While the Arrow is a man with a mission and a dangerous job that lives in the darkness of the night, but can show her the kindness and love she needs. However, he can never reveal the true man behind the mask and will never be able to fulfill the promises he makes her.<br/>Over time she realizes that there are many similarities between the two, but at the same time there are such drastic differences between them that seperates them. Her final choice reveals the truth that has been longing over her all the time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. It comes back to you

 

 

Chapter 1

_It Comes Back To You - Imagine Dragons_

 

_Felicity_

 

The man in front of her looks like someone she is supposed to know. He looks important, with his expensive suit and his well trimmed hair and beard. He keeps looking at her like he expects her to know who he is, but she doesn’t. No, she doesn’t know this man in front of her. She is sitting in the waiting rooms of her new boss’ office. Does the man work here? Perhaps. She admits to the fact that she doesn’t know the staff as well as she should. She knows the people that work in IT, but other than that she is oblivious. In between the silence and a few peeks at each other, they can barely hear the talking of people inside the room ahead of them. He catches her eyes just as she looks up to look at him. It’s not because she wants to, it’s just that he is so hot that she can’t not look at him. She smiles shyly as he looks at her, but his face shows no emotion back at her. Yet he still keeps looking at her. Every once in a while she looks up to see his gaze at her. It doesn’t tell her anything, the man doesn’t own a single emotion in his face. Either that or she’s terrible at reading people, which she has experienced that she isn’t. For a moment she is a bit embarrassed that he doesn’t smile back, but then she realizes that the behavior of that sorts is just not that common. Normal people would at least give a hint of emotion back, but this man just looks at her and keeps deciding that she isn’t worth a smile back? She almost comments on it, but decide against it. It’s probably for the best anyways.

Finally, after some time of more silence some guys walk out the office and the man in the fancy suit in front of her stands up and shakes the guys’ hands. He says something to them, but she isn’t a fan of eavesdropping on people so she lets them be. As she looks back at it, it would have saved her a lot of embarrassment.

As the men leave, he starts walking towards the office. Suddenly he stops and looks back at her. She gets even more confused than she already is. Why did he think he could just go in before her? She has an appointment that should have started two minutes ago, yet he just walks in before her, and then he just stops dead in his tracks and looks at her?

“Are you coming or are you just going to stare at me all day?” He snaps at her, and she is so shocked that she is sure that her face just stares worse at him. She shakes it off and fumble with her words until she can figure out what to say.

“I’m… I’m sorry? I have an appointment with my new boss.” His face gets this mocking grin on it and she wonders what the hell his problem is.

“Okay.” He chuckles lightly. He doesn’t move, he just stares at her like the answer to his behavior is evident. To her it isn’t.

“Excuse me, I don’t know what you find so funny but let me just say that you are being kind of rude to someone you haven’t met before.” She doesn’t raise her voice, but that doesn’t mean it’s not stern. “I don’t like that, it makes me feel like I did something wrong, which doesn’t make sense giving that we haven’t even met each other properly. Maybe you think you’re better than me because you’re richer or whatever than me, or perhaps it goes so far that it is because I’m a woman.” Her entire speech seems to amuse him more. “Kindly just go about your day and ruin someone else’s day than mine because I don’t want to take this, not right now. And stop laughing.”

He stops laughing, but his grin is still there. He makes an impressed face and claps his hands.

“You know what, I’m impressed. If I was some disgusting person this would have been an excellent speach. However, to me it’s not that smart.” He takes a step towards her. “You see, _I_ am your new boss which makes this a very bad situation for you.” Her face drops into complete shock and panic as he stands there with no hint of emotion anymore. Not even the slightest hint of humor is left on his face.

“Oh, I’m…” She starts to apologize to him, in shear panic as he waves his hand in a small gesture, telling her somehow to just drop it. He looks at her once again for a few seconds before talking.

“Come on in then.” He tells her with no hint of emotion, just barely annoyance perhaps.

She is still in some sort of shock, but there is a hint of relief with another hint of fear. She might still get fired, she doesn’t know.

She follows him through the hallway and into his office. It’s a huge office with glass walls all over it, with a gray, black and green theme to most of the things in his office. It all looks so professional and neat in some way.

“Sit down.” He orders, with a bit of authority in his voice. She does as he says and sits down on a black fancy chair right in front of his desk.

“Do you know why I wanted you to come in here?” His blue eyes are cold and stares into hers. She can feel the sensation in her entire body, a mix of intimidation and curiosity. The way his words come out of his mouth in a voice that is beyond description makes her confused. This man isn’t her type, he has a fancy suit, he is rude and also he has a beard. She usually prefers guys who are clean shaven, but she doesn’t mind the five o’ clock shadow that appears occasionally. This man, he has a full beard. Not the long kind, but one that is covering his jaw and mouth area. It suits him, and she won’t go as far as saying that she doesn’t find him attractive, but the beard isn’t her thing. She keeps reassuring herself that.

“No.” She answers simple, rather than babbling on. She doesn’t want to ruin this anymore than she already has.

“You see, now that I’ve officially taken over this company it is important to me to maintain things good, but it is even more important to me to make it even better than it was. However, I feel like this company, including almost every other company as well, keeps letting their leadership positions go to men only because of the fact that they are men. I don’t like that. They throw away the possibilities to become even better and more powerful companies only because of the stupid old-fashioned thinking that a man is smarter than a woman.” His words roll off his tongue with no sense of emotion or break. This man… she doesn’t know what to think. He is so cold, yet there is something she can’t explain by him. Her mouth is probably open from the shock of what he is saying, she doesn’t know and frankly she doesn’t care that much either. She is so focused on the words that keep coming out of his mouth.

“Do you know that all of this company’s leading positions is currently occupied by men?” She shakes her head and he give a slight notion of a smirk, or maybe not really a smirk. His mouth just slightly bended upwards for a short second.

“While I’m not really someone that will fight for the feminist cause right at the moment, I do believe in getting this company to the best it can be. With that I’m re-evaluating all the leading positions and putting the most capable people on there.” She blinks a few times while waiting for him to continue.

“I wanted you to consider taking the leading position in the IT-department.”  Her breath hitches as the last words of his sentence comes out of his mouth. The first glance she got of him didn’t exactly tell her that only a few minutes later he would be promoting her.

“But… why me? I’ve only been here three years. Howell has been here for over ten years. He has lots of experience and he is a very good head of the IT-department.” He gives her a confused look as he takes in her words.

“Are you trying to talk me out of promoting you? Are you really that fucking stupid?” His harsh words hit her without warning and she needs a few minutes before continuing to analyze the situation.

“I’m… No, I’m just wondering why. It’s just not what I expected to hear from you right now.” He lets out an annoyed and long breath before continuing.

“You see, your work here is outstanding. It’s beating any of your other coworkers’ work and that includes Randall Howell, your boss. That is why I’m giving you the job, and I believe that since you are the one with the best capabilities you should be the boss. So, do you accept or not?” His voice is impatient and she doesn’t wait long before giving her answer.

“Yes. Thank you so much, Mr…” She has been so focused on his behavior and appearance that she forgot to ask his name.

“My name is Oliver Queen, and yours is Felicity Smoak.” He reads her face immediately. “You haven’t heard of me?” He chuckles, as if that surprises him. Wow, this guy thinks that much of himself?

“No, I haven’t. Sorry.” She doesn’t know why she apologizes to this rude man. Granted, he is her boss, but if he was a normal person that didn’t decide her future she wouldn’t hesitate to yell in his face.

“Wow, it’s strange to meet someone from the city that doesn’t know who I am.” He turns his head to his side to look out the glass walls and onto the city view that surrounds them everywhere in this office.

“I’m not from the city.” She politely answers. It’s true, she isn’t. She hasn’t actually told anyone here, or in Star City for that matter. There’s only one person who knows, and that is her boyfriend.

“Guess that explains it then.” He looks over at her again, his face is just as emotionless as before again. “You can leave now.” His sudden change in behavior shouldn’t surprise her at this point, but it does. She fumbles with her words, and he takes advantage of her speechlessness. “That means you’re supposed to leave. Now get the fuck out, please.” He says the last word in a sarcastic tone. She stares at him without words, before turning to leave and muttering “Okay, bye then” before exiting through the door and walking down to the waiting room where they were just a few minutes ago.

She goes back to her cubicle, and works for the rest of the afternoon. When she glances at the clock, it’s almost 10 in the evening. She curses slightly, Cooper won’t be happy that she forgot the time again. Usually they eat together when she returns from work, but now he probably had to eat alone and go to his night classes without seeing her.

The way to her apartment isn’t exactly short, but she and Cooper couldn’t afford a car when they moved here together. The day has ended and the familiar dark sky has taken over the sun. She hates this, the long way home in the darkness. It had been a surprise for her that Cooper hadn’t argued when they agreed she should walk to and from work. They needed to spend their money on other things, but all of her friends’ boyfriends always protested against walking alone here in the evenings. They were right too, she doesn’t feel safe as she walks down the street. Who would in a city like this.

She reaches her apartment without much trouble, which is always a great relief. She opens the door up and is met with a dark and freezing apartment. She frowns and moves her way into the living room, and sighs when she sees the used dishes on the table from Cooper. Of course he wouldn’t clean up after himself, he always does this. She puts the dishes away from the table and notices a breeze. What the hell? When she glances over to the window she sees that it’s opened.

“What the fuck Cooper.” She mumbles to herself when she closes it, and just as she is about to return to the kitchen she notices something. In the shadows she notices a figure slouched down on the floor. She reaches for the phone in her pocket with minimal movement and hears a groan.

“I’m going to call the police. So, get up now before I do it and get the hell out or be here when they show up.” She quietly says with her voice shaking like crazy.

“No, please don’t.” A deep voice answers. It’s a man, of course it is. He sounds hurt. “I can’t get up, please don’t call the police. I came here to escape them. Please, I need your help.” He groans in pain and whimpers slightly, but just loud enough for her to hear. She walks quietly over to the light switch without ever taking her eyes from the shadows. As she switches the light on, she sees the hooded man coming into sight.

“Who are you?” She asks with an equally shaky voice as the last time she spoke. The man is wearing a green leather suit, and his face is covered in the shadows from his green hood. She sees his arm clutching to his bloody side and she hesitantly walks toward him. The man looks up at her with eyes littered in pain and suffering. His whole face is covered in sweat, and his cold blue eyes pierces into hers. His jaw is covered in a thick and somewhat messy beard. She shouldn’t be this calm. She should be calling the police and doing whatever the hell is normal when someone finds a hooded stranger in their apartment.

“I’m… I’m no one. Just someone who wants to do what is in the best interest of this city and its people.” His answer isn’t satisfying enough to her. His eyes, they keep looking into hers behind a mask. They look strangely familiar, and unrecognizable at the same time. “I got hurt real’ bad. Please, could you help me?” His whimpering is enough to strike something in her. Whoever this man is, and whatever he has done… she can’t just leave him here like this or call the police on him. His deep voice is somehow able to convince her.

“What happened?” She answers calmly. He looks up at her in relief before letting out a grunt and sitting up against her wall. While he looks like he might pass out from pain, she grabs a first-aid kit from behind the kitchen counter and walks over to him. She still has yet to hear what happened, and who he is, so she keeps a distance still. He looks up at her and lets out a breath that sounds like he has been keeping in for hours.

“There was a gang of men, and I had been planning on eliminating them for a while. Somehow my planning must have pinged something in their headquarters or something. They’re called H.I.V.E. You could say that they’re not exactly nice.” He breaths out a few breaths before continuing. She notices how pale he has gotten over the past minutes she has spoken to him. He must be bleeding quite a lot. It’s evident on the floor at least, and she’s grateful that this apartment didn’t have carpet floors. “They were about to rape a girl when I decided to take them out, but they were prepared. I should have seen the gun. I think I even did…” He whimpers before unzipping his jacket. He grabs his black t-shirt and rips open the area that is covered in dark blood at the right side of his stomach. A pretty nasty-looking gun shot comes into sight and she fights the urge to throw up as she sees it.

“I’m… I’m not a nurse or a doctor or any other medical person, so I don’t really know what to do.” She stutters as she looks at the wound. He looks up at her with helpless eyes. She can’t do nothing. She can’t.

“That’s okay. I’ll tell you what to do, if you’d please help me that is.” She nods and relief floods over his face once again. “Grab a sharp long knife and sterilize it. You may also need some dressing and some cotton pads. Then if you have some, a needle and some thread to sow it up with.” His breathing is shallow, but she moves quickly and luckily finds everything he mentioned. “Do you have a cloth or something?” He breathes out.

“Yeah, sure. Why?” She looks into his eyes, and she’s hovering over his slouched body. She notices she’s only inches away from him. This is as close as she has ever been to him.

“I’ll probably scream. This is an apartment building, so I assume you have neighbors. We don’t want them to hear screaming.” She nods and finds a clean cloth. He gestures for her to put it in his mouth. Once he has gotten the cloth in his mouth she looks up at him.

“You ready?” She breathes out, somehow her voice has been almost entirely lost during their conversation. She’s about to do surgery, sort of, on a stranger. Maybe there’s an excuse for it then.

He nods and she pours some liquid on some pads and starts pressing at the wound. He tenses up and closes his eyes. As she cleans she realizes something.

“The bullet, is it still in there?” He nods and looks at her. He is sweating enormous amount of liquid. “You can take off your hood…” She says and his hands quickly shoots up in front of his face to shield himself from her. She backs her body away from him before looking at him with confused eyes.

“No, you can’t know who I am. Please, it’s better this way. You wouldn’t be safe if you knew.” His breathing is getting heavier and he keeps coughing every few breaths. She nods quietly and looks up at him. He nods at her, like he knows that she is asking if it is okay for her to start looking for the bullet. She leans over his stomach again, this time taking a clear look at it. She can’t see all of it, since he only ripped open a part of it, but she can see some symbols tattooed into his side that she is only seeing just now as all the blood has been wiped away. Even though she can’t see them, it’s obvious that he is very muscular and that if she were to lift up his shirt she’d see some glorious abs. Although the urge is there, she resists it. She gently puts her thumb and index finger on his side and guides the knife slowly inside the wound. He groans a bit into the cloth at first, but after a while he stays quiet, with only a few sharp intakes of breath every once in a while. Finally, she feels something metal against the blade.

“I can’t get it out with the knife, so I’ll use my fingers. Is that okay?” He nods as she speaks and she guides her fingers inside. She almost gags just at the feeling, but after a short while she feels the bullet and manages pull it out. When she does she can see the relief flooding his face. She presses the cotton pads against his wound, wiping off the blood that appeared.

“Thank you so much.” He breathes out after he spits out the cloth from his mouth, and looks at her with grateful eyes. They’re not as cold now, in this light they’re sort of sparkling somehow with a warmer shade of blue. His jaw is shaped in a way that she knows he is good looking behind the mask and hood. She finds herself oddly attracted to this man, even though he is a complete stranger that broke in to her apartment, with a bullet wound and a strange costume.

“I’m not even finished. It’s probably going to hurt some more.” She speaks calmly and with a hint of laughter. His relieved expression is strangely amusing. He’s probably still in a lot of pain, yet here he is sitting there smiling and almost laughing. Perhaps it is because of all the blood he lost. She starts cleaning the needle and prepares the thread.

“The worst is over, and you did good.” He says and she looks him in the eyes once more, and he nods. Yet again he knows that she’s asking if it’s okay. She guides the needle into his skin and he closes his eyes. He doesn’t seem to be noticing this pain as much. Good thing, she thinks to herself. She really doesn’t know what she would have done if he were to scream so loud that her neighbors heard him. “I really wasn’t sure you’d agree to helping me, and I really didn’t expect you to agree so fast.” His eyes are open now, and he looks into hers. For some reason, she has to fight some sort of urge. She doesn’t know what it is, but she fights it with every strength she has. She finds herself reminding herself that this man is a dangerous stranger. But somehow when she looks into his eyes, he isn’t a stranger anymore. He’s just a man that needed her help, and one that was willing to risk his life for a girl that was going to get raped.

“Am I crazy for doing this to a complete stranger dressed in a green leather suit and a mask?” She laughs a silent laugh and concentrates on sowing the skin and not vomiting all over the strange man. He chuckles a bit before shaking his head.

“No. You’re not crazy. You’re kind, I can see that in your eyes Felicity.” The mention of her name makes her shoot her eyes up at him and she can hear a tiny grunt coming out of her mouth. Her hand had moved and pulled at the stitches. Luckily she didn’t tear them. She glances at him in shock, not sure what to really say. How did this stranger know her name?

“How do you know my name?” She asks as his eyes looks into hers and he smiles.

“When I stumbled in through your window I knocked over some bills on the table over there that had the names Cooper Seldon and Felicity Smoak at them. I figured you had to be Felicity.” She lets out a sigh of relief. At least he wasn’t some stalker. Or he might just as well be, for all that she knows, but at least he hadn’t been stalking her.

“Okay…” She breathes out and looks at him. She’s finished stitching up the wound, and she won’t go as far as to say it’s looking good, but at least it’ll hold. She wraps some dressing around his stomach. He doesn’t look very comfortable there on the floor.

“Do you want to lay down on the sofa?” He looks up at her in surprise and opens his mouth to answer her.

“I’m fine, if you could just help me up I’ll be out of here.” She does as he asks, but once he is up on his feet, he groans and falls against her. She is able to catch him, but his body is so heavy that she has to use all of her power to move the heavy man up and against the wall.

“If you’re going to go, you can’t look like that. Also, you should at least let me give you some clothes and you can stay here on the couch. Please, I won’t let you go out like that.” What the fuck is she doing? Did she just invite a strange man, that broke into her apartment, to stay over? All of the things her mother warned her about comes flashing into her head, but she doesn’t listen to any of them. She can’t. Something about this stranger and the way he keeps looking at her tells her he is a good person. Besides, it’s not like he can do much in the state that he is in. She looks over at him, he seems to actually realize that he won’t be able to actually get out anywhere right now. He has lost too much blood.

“Um, fine. Do you have a hoodie or something? I wasn’t kidding about the identity thing.” His voice is hoarse, but nothing about it is in any way mean or stern.

“Well, my boyfriend has some but he’s not as… well he’s not the same size as you.” She goes through her mind a while before realizing. Fuck. Cooper. He could be home soon. Fuck.

Just as the realization hits her he hears a ping from her cellphone. She walks over to the table and reads the message.

 **Cooper:** Gonna stay long and get some reading done. Won’t be home tonight, I’ll just crash at Tyler’s. Love you, babe.

Relief floods over her as she reads the message. He’d often stay at his buddy Tyler’s apartment after night classes. Tyler lived close to campus and he had to stay late very often and was very tired by the time he had to walk home.

She walks over to their bedroom and goes through her closet. She instantly finds the one she is looking for. A soft grey hoodie is folded neatly in her hands. It’s her favorite, and she doesn’t really want to give it up but she can’t not help the stranger.  

“I have one hoodie. It’s mine.” He looks up at her in confusion. “Oh, no. I mean, it’s not really mine. Or technically it is, but I got it from a previous boyfriend and it’s really big. It should fit you.” He nods and she continues. “My boyfriend won’t be home tonight, so you could stay the night or as long as you need. Just be gone before Coop gets home, okay?” He nods again.

“Won’t your boyfriend notice if I took it?”

“No, he doesn’t really know about it. I never wear it when he’s home. You can just take it. Here, take some sweatpants too, you can’t rest in those leather pants.” She grabs a pair of sweatpants from Cooper’s closet. He won’t notice, he has about ten pairs of the same anyways. They should fit him because Cooper has long legs and he always buys them too big because the smaller ones doesn’t have his length.

“Just go in the bathroom and change. I’ll go to bed, so I won’t disturb you.” She starts to walk into her bedroom when he calls her name.

“Felicity.” She turns around. He is up on his legs by now, staring into her eyes as he speaks. “Thank you so much for everything you’ve done. It is people like you that makes me want to make a difference in this city.” He grabs the sweatpants and the hoodie and she points to the bathroom.

“No problem. What should I call you then, if not your real name?” He looks up at her yet again and sends her a smirk

“Call me the Arrow.” He says and enters the bathroom.

As she goes to bed, her head is filled with the events of the night. They should frighten her. They should concern her, but they don’t. All she can feel is an unrecognizable feeling in her stomach as she falls asleep. The sound of his deep voice echoing in her head and filling her dreams.


	2. Run

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: explict content (between Oliver/Sara!)

Chapter 2

_Run - AWOLNATION_

 

_Oliver_

He sits in the chair of his new office glancing out on the sun rising on the city, and the ground is slightly covered in snow that has now turned more into ice rather than snow. God, he hates the winter so much. Who the fuck likes weather this cold? Just as the annoying weather is going through his mind he hears a sound that is even more annoying than winter weather.

“Mr. Queen?” The annoying voice of Felicity Smoak fills his ears. Okay, her voice isn’t annoying, it’s actually quite calming and he’s sure that if she were to say just the right words in the right tone he couldn’t stop himself from getting a boner. The annoying part is _her_ in general. Why does she have to wear those glasses, and why the fuck does she keep wearing a ponytail? Even her outfit annoys him, even though there is nothing wrong with it. She’s wearing a white shirt-blouse that has golden buttons. She has buttoned it up, but she let the last two hang open and if she were to open another one he is sure he’d see the cleft of her… Okay, what the fuck? He needs to stop himself before this goes too far. He’s not attracted to _her_ , it’s just her boobs. To be fair, he could have gotten like this with anyone. Any girl with boobs. Damn those boobs.

“Yeah, what is it?” He snaps at her. He always does that at people, it’s just the way he is. However, he feels horrible after doing it to her. It doesn’t make sense. He doesn’t care about people.

“You asked for me, sir?” Oh, fuck. He forgot he did that. He’s been annoying himself with things for a while now so he forgot all about that.

“Oh, yeah. My laptop is shit.” He raises his voice slightly at ‘shit’ and points at the piece of shit laptop that he just bought. “The piece of shit thing won’t work.” She looks at him with amused eyes. Fucking hell, he should never have called her. She smiles at him and walks towards the laptop on his desk. How rude of her, it’s not like he has used a laptop much in the last few years. She should know that… Oh shit, wait. She didn’t even know who he was. She wouldn’t have known about the island either. Fuck, he can’t figure this girl out. He is well known in the country, so even thought she isn’t from here she could have heard of him. Besides, he’s even been in the media a lot lately. How does she not know who he is? She has been here three years, so she should have heard of him at some point. Especially these last few years.

“Looks like you just need to connect to the company network to gain internet access. It’s not the laptop itself, it’s just lack of internet access.” She smiles at him and he curses under his breath. She’s being reasonable with him but he keeps annoying himself with her attitude. Perhaps that is because she is the only girl in a very long time that hasn’t looked like she was going to swoon when she saw him. Maybe she doesn’t find him attractive? It’s a possibility. He brings his hand to scratch lightly at his beard, and looks at her while she types furiously on the keyboard. The way her eyes are focused on the computer is sort of fascinating to him. He doesn’t understand how someone can be so focused on something like that.

“Fuck, I suck at computers. I haven’t really touched one much in a long time and I don’t think I have ever tried to set one up for myself so I guess that explains why I don’t know shit.” He keeps trying to look at her with a blank expression. At first when he promoted her, it wasn’t that difficult. But now, each time he looks at her it’s getting harder to look emotionless as he always does. She’s looking at him now, her blue eyes catching his and never taking them off of his. Before he can think straight and act with his own common sense he is blurting out words that is the opposite of what he wants.

“Would you like to hang out tonight?” His words make him sound like he’s a fucking teenager. What the fuck? He’s 32, and he shouldn’t be acting like this. fuck, she’s his employee. It really did sound unprofessional and creepy. Shit, she looks kind of freaked out. Of course she would, he just asked her that out of nowhere and it doesn’t even sound like him. Why the hell did he do that? It’s not like he want to, or maybe it wouldn’t be that bad. Okay, he needs to stop thinking like a little bitch and start behaving properly. And by properly he means the way he always behaves. Which in fact wouldn’t actually be categorized as properly…

“Um… What? You want to… hang out?” Her mouth hangs open after she speaks and her eyes are wide with shock. Probably wasn’t what she expected him to say. That makes two of us, he thinks to himself. “I… I have a boyfriend.” She stutters with her words, another annoying thing about her by the way. Boyfriend? It shouldn’t surprise him really, he’s probably a scrawny geeky little fucker. Wow, not that it couldn’t be true, but it sounded so strange coming from him. Why does he care that the annoying geeky girl has an annoying geeky boyfriend? Beats him. He doesn’t care. He shouldn’t care. He decides to see if he can get this prude of a girl to let herself go a little loose. He may as well see how far he can take this.

“Oh, relax princess. It’s not like I’m inviting you to fuck me over this desk.” Her eyes widen at his words and he can’t help but chuckle at her expression. It’s not disgust or any other emotion that is evident on her face. No, it’s curiosity. He has trained himself to see things like these. Fucking every girl that glances his way in that same expression has really trained him up to noticing when someone wants him. However, he doesn’t get the same vibe from her. She doesn’t look at him with lust in her eyes for him, she looks at him with lust for curiosity. Him mentioning something like that to her shocked her, because she secretly gets turned on by that sort of thing. Her lousy, or potentially lousy, boyfriend would never dare to fuck her like that. She knows that. He’s good at reading people, and he knows instantly that her desire to get a good fuck is great. Her boyfriend obviously isn’t doing a stellar job. Perhaps that is why she’s dressing like that. Maybe all she needs is a good fuck? Okay, he knows how all of this sounds. It sounds fucking insane and totally like something a mindless dick with too much of an ego would say, but he isn’t observing this out of selfish reasons. Somehow he keeps thinking about that. His mind is concerned with the fact that she might not get so much out of sex with the boyfriend of his that she deserves. “I wondered if you wanted to come down to the bar across the street. I’m meeting some friends there. Don’t worry princess, I respect that you have a boyfriend. I feel kinda stupid for barking you up here for something so fucking stupid like that.” He points at his laptop. “And you, princess, look like you need to have some fun as soon as possible.” She blinks a few times and thinks a while before answering. “If your boyfriend has some issues with you going out to a bar and meeting some people…” He gets interrupted by her before he can finish.

“No, it’s not that…” She blurts out and her cheeks blush. Of course it is that.

“Invite some friends of yours, it’ll be fun.” He sends her a smile. An actual smile. It surprises even him, and definitely surprises her.

“No, I really meant that it wasn’t about that…” She looks down at her feet. “It’s just that… Well, me and my boyfriend don’t have that much money and we need to spend it on rent, student loans and other necessary stuff. If he knew that I went out and spent money on that sort of thing he’d feel really bad. He’s studying now and also working almost everyday so it wouldn’t really be fair to him.” He gets a taken aback a little by her words. How many people like this are there really in this world? He used to know one, but he’d say these are rather rare. He can’t look at her and accept this, and every bone in his body is telling him that he needs to get his act back, but his mind can’t not help her.

“Don’t worry about it. I’m buying.” He waves his hands as if it’s nothing, but her concern is still evident on her face. Fuck, what is it now?

“No, I can’t do that. I don’t want you spending any money on me and my friends. It’s really fine, I don’t have to.” Who is this girl? Why is she so intent on not wanting to pay and not wanting other to pay for her?

“No. You’re coming and bringing your friends. I have shitloads of money and as far as you’re concerned you should just take whatever your boss hands you. It’s polite.” He smirks teasingly at her. Why is he so intent on having her come? After a while he can see her thinking again, slightly pouting her lower lip before answering.

“Fine. I’ll bring three friends if that’s okay?” She smiles shyly at him and he nods.

“Bring them. See you later at eight. Now, if you’d please get the fuck out.” He says it with a smile. He hopes by now that he never wants her to take him seriously when he tells her to get the fuck out. He doesn’t mean it. He’s just used to speaking like that. She doesn’t look as confused, she just cocks her head a little and walks out of his office with a smile plastered on her face. He shouldn’t judge. He has a smile plastered on his too.

 

The clock is nearly eight when he has finished getting ready. He’s wearing a grey sweater with a brown leather jacket on top. His hair has been styled a bit more than usual. He locks up his apartment and walks over to the elevator. When he gets out of the apartment building he starts walking over to the bar across the street. His apartment building is right beside the company building and so is the bar. When he gets inside he looks across the bar to find his friends sitting in a boot already drinking. Tommy, Laurel, her sister Sara, John and Roy are all drinking beer and laughing when he sees them. It’s always going to be slightly awkward with the women in this group. He has fucked both Sara and Laurel. Neither was bad, but he’s had better…

“Hey fuckers.” He approaches them and winks at Sara. She was the better one. If he didn’t find anyone else to fuck with whenever they went out he’d always end up with her.

“Hey, go get yourself something to drink.” Sara smirks up at him as she speaks. Suddenly her eyes focus on something behind her and she gets sort of a mocking grin at her face.

“Look, the geek squad just walked inside.” He looks over his shoulder to find Felicity and her friends walking inside. She is followed by a skinny tall boy that gets stopped by one of the bartenders to asks for his ID. Behind him is a hot red-head with waves in her hair, and an extremely tall man with black hair and a somewhat creepy face and a short dude with long black hair.

“Shut your fucking trap Sara, they’re with us.” She lets out a choked laughter and he sends her a killing look. She immediately loses her mocking expression and focuses on chugging down her beer. Of course her friends would be geeks… For fucks sake, the dude with the long black hair has a geek t-shirt on him. He walks over to them and Felicity smiles when she sees him.

“Hey, let’s grab a drink.” He tells her and she follows him, the rest of the geek squad follow after them. He orders a scotch for himself and she orders something with vodka in it.

The evening goes, and as the big group drinks more and talks more they all start laughing and having fun. At some point they sing karaoke, and after two hours or three they are all pretty drunk. He’s sitting next to Felicity, and she’s had a few of those vodka drinks. He can see she is starting to loosen up a bit, and she’s laughing and having fun. He’s been glancing at her, and she notices his look. Soon she looks at him, and now he sees it. The thing he wasn’t sure about before. The thing he only called curiosity has now turned into pure lust. Her eyes tell him she wants him, and fuck in this drunken state he couldn’t care less about all the annoying things about her. He wants her too.

“I need to go to the bathroom.” He says and walks across the bar and turns around the corner and walks down a hallway. He finally reaches the men’s room and finally realizes how much he has had to pee the last hour. He finishes up in the bathroom and is washing his hands when he hears someone entering the bathroom. He turns his head, and Felicity is standing there. He sends her a confused look.

“This is the men’s room, Felicity.” He mocks her and chuckles a little. He has just cleaned his hands and dried them when she speaks.

“I know.” She breathes out. He looks into her eyes, unsure of what she is doing here.

“What are you doing in here?” He watches her, watches how her eyes rakes down his body. Her eyes; they’re filled with lust. She closes the door while her eyes are fixed on his.

Suddenly she walks over to him and crashes her lips to his. He is a bit surprised by her sudden events, but soon he is kissing her back. Her tongue is slipping into his mouth and he reciprocates her movements. He lets out a throaty moan as she tugs at his hair. His hands fall down to her waist, and keeps falling. They lower down to her ass, her glorious ass, and he bends a little down as he reaches her thighs and lifts her up. She wraps her legs around his waist as she continues kissing him, a slight moan escaping her pink mouth. He can feel himself getting harder by the seconds, and soon he notices that she can feel it too. He can taste the alcohol in her mouth as he kisses her deeply and as he holds her she begins to slowly rub herself on him. A groan escapes his mouth as she rubs herself on his very hard erection. She is like a wilder version right now, and he bets her lousy boyfriend has never seen her like this… Oh no. He breaks their kiss and looks into her eyes. He can see realization hitting her as well.

“Oh god, what am I doing?” She untangles herself from him and looks at him. For a brief moment it looks like she is about to jump him again, but she shakes her head and sprints out of the bathroom. He is just standing there, with a shocked look on his face and a straining boner. He shakes his head and fumbles with his phone. He soon texts Sara.

 **Oliver:** My place in 10?

Her response doesn’t take long.

 **Sara:** Fuck yes.

He fixes himself up before taking the backdoor out of the bar and running towards his apartment. He reaches his apartment before Sara does, but once he is inside he hears her knock. He opens up and finds a smirking Sara standing there, her top has been pulled a lot more down so that her cleft is visible. She strides past him and into the apartment. He closes the door, and when he turns around he sees her already getting undressed. Staring into his eyes as she pulls the top over her head and unclasps her bra, showing her breasts to him.

He smirks at her, and when he feels the kiss that happened only minutes ago on his mouth, he feels himself getting hard. When he remembers how she grounded and rubbed herself against his boner he feels himself straining against his jeans.

He walks over to Sara, and she immediately drops to her knees. Her hands fumbles with his belt and finally she manages to pull his jeans down and she grips his cock through his tight black boxer briefs. He groans and when she pulls down the boxers and starts licking his length, he grabs her by her hair and guides her mouth on him. He doesn’t waste any time. He slips in and out of her mouth, and he doesn’t focus on her face, he focuses on her blonde hair. He feels Sara dragging her tongue along his length as he pushes in and out and when she starts massaging his balls with her hand he guides her head away.

“Get those fucking pants off.” She does as he commands and starts taking off her pants, in the meantime he strokes his cock slowly while waiting for her to finish undressing. Once she finishes he guides her into the bedroom and guides her to the bed. She lays down on it and smirks as he kneels on the bed, his pants have been kicked off a long time ago, leaving him in only his sweater and leather jacket. He takes off the warm leather jacket and stares down at Sara who has started licking his cock again. He groans and shuts his eyes, before grabbing her and flipping her on her stomach.

He grabs his length and guides himself into her wet center. When he pushes inside both of them groans and he starts pushing in and out of her. He pushes for another few minutes, his eyes focused on her blonde hair. Soon he’s gripping her hips and pulling out, stroking his cock a few times before releasing thick ropes of come on her back with a loud groan. He keeps rubbing, a lot of white come hitting her back, rope after rope. He feels like he’s coming for an eternity, painting her back with white, but soon he’s releasing his final shot which lands on her ass.

He plops down on the bed and feels his cock going flaccid.

“I didn’t get to come.” Sara frowns at him and tries to look at the mess he has made on her back.

“Too bad. Get the fuck out now, you can shower that away first.” He breathes out and takes off his sweater before plopping back on the bed and releasing a huge breath. He avoids thinking about what had just happened, what had really pushed him over the edge. He doesn’t need to be thinking about that right now.

Still, her voice echoes in his mind as he drifts off to sleep. Her moan from their kiss in the bathroom playing on repeats in his dreams, making him wake up with yet a boner the next morning.


	3. Wolves

 

Chapter 3

 _Wolves - One Direction_  

 

_Felicity_

 

_She feels kisses along her jawline and strong hands holding her waist as she wakes up from her glorious sleep. She doesn’t open her eyes. She doesn’t need to. All she needs is this, the warmth behind her and the relaxing Saturday morning in bed. She doesn’t feel a headache from last night’s drinking. She feels grateful that it didn’t end in any throwing up or headaches. She hears a groan behind her, and she feels like she recognizes the groan. The kisses that were placed on her jawline has now been placed on her neck, and she sighs as the soft lips touches her skin._

_As she opens her eyes, the kisses disappear and she turns around. There is no one beside her. She looks around in the room, not seeing anyone anywhere in the room._

_“Felicity?” Oliver’s eyes meet hers, and she sees him standing shirtless in front of her at her right side. His hair is slightly ruffled, and his whole appearance screams sex. He looks like some Greek god. When he smirks at her, she feels a warmth in her stomach. Her eyes don’t leave his._

_“Do you want me, Felicity?” His voice isn’t like usual. His usual voice is neither angry or emotionless, but now it’s raspy, sexy and seductive. She stares at him for a long time._

_“Or is it me that you want?” A deep voice echoes through the room and she turns her head to the front of the bed, tearing her eyes from Oliver’s ice cold ones. The deep voice came from a man. Not just any man, but the man she saved. The Arrow. He is wearing the grey hoodie he borrowed, the hood casting a shadow across his face. His large and strong figure is standing stiffly in front of her bed. She can’t see his eyes, but she knows they are looking into hers. She can barely see he is smirking from behind the shadow of the hood. She turns her head towards Oliver. He is staring at the Arrow, and he doesn’t look mad. He looks like he is trying to figure something out. He is studying the other man. Suddenly his cold eyes meet hers and she feels the warmth in her stomach again._

_“Felicity.” The deep voice coming from the Arrow sends both a shiver down her spine and yet another warm feeling in her stomach as well._

_“Felicity.” Cooper’s voice echoes through the room as well, and she looks to the other side of the bed. Cooper’s blue eyes look into hers. She can see his face is riddled with questions._

_“Felicity, don’t you want me anymore? Don’t you love me anymore? We’ve been together for so long, how could you throw that away?” His voice isn’t sad or hurt. It’s slightly anger in his tone._

_She doesn’t answer. She can’t answer. She has only met two of these people a few times, while she has known Cooper for a very long time. Why would there be a choice? Oliver is a man she’s only ever talked to three times and kissed once, while the Arrow has only talked to her once. There isn’t a choice. There really shouldn’t be._

_“If you think there isn’t a choice, why is my presence still in your apartment? Why is the touch of my skin still on your fingers?” The Arrow’s deep voice fills her ears. She looks at him. He has stepped closer to the bed._

_“If you think there isn’t a choice, then why is my kiss still on your lips? Why can you still feel my hands around your waist, around your thighs?” Oliver’s ice cold eyes and smirk catches her eyes and she has to catch her breath. He isn’t her type, but she still feels like his body is a magnet to hers. He is standing directly in front of her. She could reach out and touch his skin if she wanted to. She does want to. Cooper’s voice breaks her trance._

_“If you think there isn’t a choice, Felicity, then why are you still debating?” Cooper is also standing directly in front of her. His eyes are filled with anger and almost anything besides love. His body jumps into the bed and catches her completely off guard. She looks into his eyes as he wraps his hands around her neck._

_“Cheater.” His voice echoes time and time again._

Her mind jolts awake and she catches her breath. When she opens her eyes, the sharp pain in her head ignites. She growls silently and buries her head in the pillow. She thinks she can hear footsteps in her room, but when she opens up her eyes she is met with a dark and silent room. Her mind must have still been in the dream. She lets out a heavy sigh again before standing up and fighting the urge to throw up once she is on her feet. She had way too much to drink last night. The alcohol has most likely left her body by now, but she still feels like shit. The apartment is empty, and also dark. Cooper is nowhere to be seen. He probably crashed at his friend’s house again. She pours some water into a glass and chugs it down. Her throat is really dry and her head is pounding. She decides that staying inside doing nothing sounds perfect. She grabs one of Cooper’s hoodies and puts it on as well as some sweatpants of her own. She is about to turn on the TV and cuddle up under a blanket when she hears a knock on the door. Her head quickly turns to the door. Crap. Her hair looks even worse than the rest of her right now. She grabs the hood and puts it over her head, in hopes that it will cover up her horrible hair that has been put up as a bun. She walks over to the door and opens it. When Oliver’s eyes meet hers she is about to close the door again out of shock. Suddenly all of the events from last night floods to her brain. His hand stops the door from separating them and he looks at her with some strange mix of slightly amused and seriousness.  His hand is holding a box of something, and his hair is slightly ruffled. Oh god, he looks so much like he did in her dream…

“I’m sorry for coming. I just thought I’d swing by with some… Well, something that might potentially help with the hangover. By the looks of it, you may be experiencing some form of it.” He studies her. His face is oddly not mocking, and his eyes dart to her face again. “I’m sorry for what happened last night. I shouldn’t have done that.” His face looks sort of like a helpless animal now, and he looks sincerely sorry. Why is he sorry? She was the one that kissed him? She would have done more than that if he hadn’t stopped their kissing.

“Don’t apologize. I was the one who… started it.” She opens the door for him to come in. He does as she gestured and takes off his leather jacket. “How did you know where I live?” He looks at her and pulls his iPhone up from his pocket.

“I should apologize, actually, I shouldn’t have let you. I respect that you have a boyfriend. Let me be clear here, despite the fact that you kissed me I sort of encouraged you and that was all wrong.” He looks at her with a serious look. “I don’t want to take advantage of you, or hurt you and your boyfriend in any way.” She is sort of surprised by his words. He’s been a complete dick to her in so many ways, but right now he is standing here apologizing for something he didn’t have to apologize for. He is acknowledging that he has some guilt towards it, even though she is the one that cheated on her boyfriend.

“Anyways, I thought since I was the one who asked you out that I’d help you with the hangover.” He throws the box on the table in front of the TV and opens it. The box is filled with donuts in different colors. Damn, that really looks good now. She can’t force the smile that appears on her face.

“Enjoy them.” He looks down at the donuts and then at her. He smiles slightly and looks at the door. “I’ll see you on Monday, Felicity.” He starts walking to the door. She can’t stop it. The feeling of disappointment that runs through her is strong enough to overtake her actions.

“Don’t go.” He stops in his tracks and turns around to look at her with a questioning look on his face.

“What?” He asks her. She doesn’t really know why she said that. All she knows is that she really didn’t want him to go. She doesn’t want him to leave.

“You could stay?” Again the words out of her mouth falls uncontrollably off of her tongue. She has known this man for less than a week, yet she still feels some strange need to be near him. Of all the shitty things he has said over their interactions, she still sees so much in him that is beneath the surface. What happened to this man? What made him this way?

“Then let’s go out.” He scans her apartment, his face finally examining the apartment. He looks around in the room, with eyes that has never looked upon this apartment. His face lights up when he sees a photo of her from high school. He doesn’t look like he is mocking her by his expression, it’s like some kind of realization.

“You’ve got a nice apartment.” His face lands on her living room window. The bills that the Arrow saw is still laying on the floor. His face cocks slightly and a frown appears on his face. “That window, has it been like that for a long time?” He walks over to the same window where the Arrow had stumbled through. He touches one of the handles which until now she hadn’t noticed was broken. His touch sends the handle onto the frame, falling from the side of the window. Yeah, clearly broken.

“You should get that fixed. Someone could break in.” He says and turns around. There is no suspicion in his tone, and no change in expression. At least he doesn’t look at her. She’s sure her expression tells him that in fact someone actually did break in there only a few days earlier.

“Let’s get out of here and go to McDonald’s or something. You could use something salty and fatty.” He smiles at her. She still finds it odd how he isn’t acting rude. Yet she hasn’t really gotten to know him much, perhaps he is nicer once you get to know him? However, how could that be true. He spoke to his friends in the same manner as he did to her.

“Okay, let me just change, and well, not look like this.” She laughed a bit and he smirked slightly.

“Okay.” He chuckled a bit. “Do what you want. You don’t have to do it though, I’ve seen a lot worse people at McDonald’s.” He makes a grimace and she can’t help but laugh. Somehow he becomes even more attractive than usual when he acts this way.

She can still remember the way he had touched her the previous night. The way his lips had felt electric against hers. The way his groans had her going mad from the inside. She can’t help but notice that she has never felt anything like that with Cooper. She still remembers how hard it was to stop kissing him, to stop having his touch on her. Never in her life had she felt like that, and she had never craved something so badly.

“This goes without saying, but it can’t be a date or anything. You are actually standing in my boyfriend’s apartment.” She doesn’t make a too big deal out of it. She says it casually, or at least that is what she hopes it sounded like.

“Of course not. I just apologized to you. Or did you not listen to any of that?” He smiles and he lifts his eyebrows.

“Yeah I did, but I just had to say it.” She looks into his eyes and he looks into hers. His eyes aren’t really ice cold now. In this light they seem somehow warmer.

“Go change already, I’m kinda starving here.” She smiles a little before going to her room. She removes the hoodie and puts on one of her sweaters and a pair of black pants. She fixes her hair a bit, puts on some makeup and brushes her teeth a bit before going out to Oliver again. He has put his leather jacket back on and is sitting on his phone in her sofa when she enters the living room.

“Okay, now I’m ready.” She looks at him and he glances at her for a second before turning his gaze back at his phone.

“You know, you didn’t really have to dress up for me. I’m under the assumption we were going to be friends. Friends don’t give a shit about how the other looks.” He finally shuts his phone off and stands up. She frowns slightly at him.

“We could be friends, but don’t think I’m dressing up for you. I can’t go out looking like a troll either.” She puts on her shoes and looks at him. He’s slightly frowning.

“You didn’t look like a troll.” He smiles a bit and opens the door. She shuts off the lights and starts heading towards the door to where he is standing.

“Oh, that’s nice of you.” She shuts the door and locks it before following him down the hallway. They reach the elevator and waits for it to go down.

“No, I mean it. You didn’t look as bad as you think.” She blushes slightly from the uncommon words that escapes his mouth. He notices quickly. “Don’t you get told that often?” He raises one eyebrow at her. God, he really is sexy.

“No, well not that often. I don’t know…” Oliver’s shocked look pierces through her.

“If your boyfriend doesn’t tell you regularly how beautiful you are, then he’s an idiot.” His words come in such a shock to her that her mouth falls open slightly. She’s staring into his eyes, his look going from amused to vulnerable in a second. “I’m sorry.” He mutters and looks the other way. How could he, a man who is so sexy and attractive, think that she is beautiful? She looks up at him, slightly smiling before looking down at the floor. She still didn’t believe it, that he found her beautiful. Not like she finds him beautiful. He couldn’t.

When they finally reach the first floor they walk out of the building and she sees his car. It’s a silver Mercedes-Benz, a really fancy and expensive-looking car.

“What kind of car is that?” She asks him and looks at his expression. He gets a smirk on his face and pulls out the keys.

“A Mercedes-AMG GT. I know it looks kinda like I am a snobby rich man, but I kinda am too.” He laughs a bit and unlocks the car and opens the door for her. She sits down inside in the passenger seat. It’s really comfortable, and it looks like a lot of fun to drive.

“Hey, what about instead of going to McDonald’s, we go to Big Belly Burger?” She asks him once he is seated inside the car.

“Big Belly Burger?” He looks hesitantly at her.

“It’s better than anything McDonald’s serve, I promise you.” As he pulls over she sees a slight smile appearing on his face.

“It probably tastes the same anyway, but yeah let’s go there.” The ride over to Big Belly Burger is silent, but it’s still like she is seeing someone else entirely. They go through the drive through and drives over to his apartment, which is surprisingly close. The building is a skyscraper, literarily. Once she is up in his apartment, which is the penthouse apartment of course, she takes in the magnificent view. It’s even better than the one at his office. All of the living room walls are covered in windows, and the whole place is lit up by the daylight. The apartment itself is a fancy gray-styled apartment with neat furniture. There isn’t a sight of mess in his apartment. The living room is combined with the kitchen, but it’s in the corner of the apartment, and the walls instead of windows is sort of separating the two rooms from each other. The kitchen is in it’s own area of the living room, a big space of black and grey furniture and kitchen counters. In the middle of the kitchen there is an island which serves as the dining table. It has a clean white plate on top of it, with four wooden designer chairs surrounding it. The whole apartment is beautiful in a neat way, but it’s obvious that this is the place of a man living alone.

“You have a beautiful place.” She looks around in the apartment as he puts the food down on the kitchen island. He looks over to her and shakes his head with a laugh.

“It’s not personal at all. It’s just a neat place.” He takes the food out of the bags and grabs two plates from one of the counters.

“Why is that?” She looks at the walls. There are a few confusing paintings of colors splatting all over the canvas with a dark figure in the middle of it all. All look like the same one, but the man in the center has different poses in all of them. She’s not that good at reading paintings, but after their time together today she’d understand them all. She notices there are no photographs, and nothing resembling anything personal.

“That’s… Don’t ask me that. Please, just don’t…” He doesn’t look at her, he is looking down at the plates in his hand before gently placing them on the island.

“Okay…” It goes quiet for a while. He places her food on her plate and grabs two cans of soda from his refrigerator. She notices it doesn’t have any food in it except some  He doesn’t have a slight smile on his face anymore, his face is as emotionless as the first time she met him. She clears her throat before thinking of something to say after at least two minutes without talking.

“So, I’ve noticed you haven’t cursed much today.” He looks up at her, clearly he hadn’t expected her to say that.

“I think I said ‘shit’ at some point.” He mumbles before taking a huge bite out of his burger. She giggles slightly before watching him devour a whole burger.

“Yeah, but you’re not rude. You’re usually rude. Why aren’t you now?” She watches his face. His eyes are fixated on the windows in the living room. His eyes catch hers.

“You ask a lot of questions.” He grumbles before grabbing another burger.

“And you don’t answer any.” He rolls his eyes at her and takes a bite of the burger.

“You’re annoying.” He mumbles. It stings a little bit in her stomach, but she knows he’s just trying to avoid the question.

“Fine then. Don’t answer the question.” She puts her burger down at her plate again and sighs.

“I’m always rude, okay.” She stares at him. She looks at him like it’s obvious that she has noticed that. “I do it because I get a kick out of it or because I don’t care about people and I want them to know that. I enjoy being rude to people.” She looks at him. He’s studying her face.

“But with you it’s like I can see it hurts you or surprises you, and that hurts me too.” She opens her mouth to say something, but he interrupts her. “I don’t want to be rude to you. I don’t enjoy it at all.” She’s a bit thrown off at his honesty, and she can see him noticing it. “I don’t know…” He scratches the back of his neck, he’s not comfortable with being so honest to people, she can tell as much.

“Oh.” It’s all she can say. She fears that if she doesn’t constrain herself, she’d be doing the wrong thing again.

“That’s all you can say? ‘Oh.’? That’s the lamest response I’ve ever gotten.” He starts eating his burger again, and she can’t help but laugh at how cute he looks when he’s eating.

“Do you always eat take out? I noticed you don’t have any food.” He looks at her and waits before answering to swallow his food.

“Yeah, I don’t have much time to cook and I’m not that good at it either. Or, perhaps I am. Maybe, I don’t know. I don’t like to cook, at least.” She studies him, his jawline is so perfect, and even in that hoodie she can tell that his body is flawless.

“That doesn’t make sense.” He looks up at her questioningly.

“Why?” He talks with his mouth full of food and she can’t help but giggle a bit at how cute he looks.

“Because you’re obviously totally ripped! I mean, how can you look like that if you eat take out every day?” He smirks at her and stands up. Before she can think of what he’s doing, he’s lifting his hoodie up to reveal his hard stomach muscles. There it is, exactly what she thought. Six utterly perfect abs. His stomach is somewhat riddled with small scars and bruises. There is a lot of small bandages all around his abdomen and she can spot a tattoo at his side. She’s certain she has begun drooling, but just as she looks up at his face he takes a huge bite of the burger sending her down a path of a lot of laughing. He’s laughing too, and he sits down and continues eating while she is laughing still.

“Why do you have so many bruises?” She finally manages to say after toning down the laughing.

“Oh, well I train a little harder than most people. Like, boxing and stuff. You should come sometime, I could show you how to do it. It’s actually a lot of fun and totally relieving.” She nods as he continues on about how he trains. It sort of answers why he doesn’t have time to cook or why he’s so ripped even though he eats junk every day. He tells her that he usually trains once a day, if he doesn’t go to the gym then he goes for a jog and he always finds time to do it once a day.

“I could never do that. I hate it, I mean I do it for my conscience but I hate doing it.” He agrees that it can be tiring sometimes, but he promises her to show her some fun stuff to do that she’ll like. She agrees to that. They talk for a long time, sitting at the table even though all of their food disappeared a long time ago.

“You know, you never answered my question.” He sends her a confused look.

“What question?” He frowns slightly, she knows he doesn’t like to go too much into his personal life. She’s gotten to know that over the last… wow, three hours.

“The question about why you don’t like having any personal things around here.” He shrugs slightly, she can tell he’s feeling uncomfortable about this. “I’ve noticed you don’t like talking about these things, but I’d like to think that if we’re going to be friends then you need to tell me these things. It seems like an important thing.” He finally looks up at her after a while. He doesn’t seem as tense as the last time, when she had gotten the feeling that he’d started to get angry. Now he seems like he’s… vulnerable.

“Well, I’m surprised you haven’t caught any details about my life before I met you.” She thinks about it. She really hadn’t known who he was. She didn’t really care for tabloids or stuff like that. She might have seen some articles with his face on it but since she never read them they must have just slipped from her mind. “I’ll warn you now that once you get to know about all of this you might… Some people don’t like knowing these details because it makes them uncomfortable.” He looks so vulnerable.

“You can tell me.” She says quietly.

“Well, about seven years ago I was married, and we were expecting a child.” His words have her wondering about what he will say next. He continues to talk a little while later. “My mother, father, sister and wife decided to throw me a party for my 25th birthday and they were all going to surprise me in a limo when… When the limo crashed, and… none of them survived.” His words make her feel sick in her stomach. He isn’t rude and cruel because he just is that way. It’s the result of having lost your entire family.

“I didn’t know what was happening. In one second you have a family and everything you take for granted and then in the next second you’re left all alone.” She can see the tears forming in his eyes, and she knows there are tears forming in hers too. All she wants to do, all her body tells her to do is to go hug him. She wants to feel his warmth and make sure he’s okay. Her mind tells her not to.

“A year later I went out on a yacht with some girls and ended up stranded on an island. That’s why I thought you knew of me, because I was all over the news in the entire country.” A sudden pang of realization hits her. He was the guy who was shipwrecked. Holy shit. She heard about that, but she never noticed his name.

“Oh, Oliver…” She can’t get any words out.

“I was there for five years. You know, you always hear stories of people in situations similar to that hoping to get home to their family and loved ones. I didn’t have that. Losing something like that… It changes you. Makes you lose yourself.” She can spot a single tear running down his cheek. Fuck it. Fuck her stupid mind. She gives into her body’s urges and walks over to him. He barely looks up at her and into her eyes before she is wrapping her arms around him. She can feel him hugging her back, his scent filling her nose. How could she feel like this? How can she feel so close to someone she just met? How can she feel such a need for someone who she has met so briefly? 


	4. The whisperer

Chapter 4 

_The Whisperer – David Guetta, Sia_

_Felicity_

_(2 months from now)_

The way everything happened so fast has her closing her eyes in utter shock. She feels her hands dropping the gun onto the floor of the car in the passenger seat. Her breathing comes out in heavy pants. She should be hearing something next to her, but instead it’s complete silence. Suddenly she hears a grunt and manages to open her eyes to look at the other side of the car. He is sitting in an awkward position, and his whole face is starting to cover up in sweat. His knuckles are white with trying to hold on to the steering wheel. She can se the two arrows sticking out of his stomach, running deep inside, and his hands are probably keeping his body from collapsing. His eyes never find hers, instead they are focused on the empty road ahead of them. He doesn’t seem to be looking at anything though, only the empty glare of his cold, blue eyes. She can see the car window has cracked two places, with holes where the arrows have hit him. He doesn’t look good. He really doesn’t.

“Oliver?” She says it in a low tone, his face slightly moves towards her and he looks her in the eyes. His whole face is sprinkled with terror, his eyes telling her how much he is in pain and how scared he is. “Oh god, are you okay?” She can feel the tears fall down her face.

“I…” He seems to have trouble speaking in that position. The arrows are angled in a slightly upwards position, almost touching the steering wheel. She can see the yellow and green feathers on the end of them. Oh god… No, please no. It can’t be. Not if her suspicions are right. They can’t be now.

“We need to get you to a hospital.” She can her the desperation and whimpering in her own voice, and she looks at him as he turns the car on. “We need to switch positions.”

“No. We can’t go out there. He is probably still there.” He breathes out the words, his voice deep with pain. She looks out onto the streets. Sure enough she can spot the green-suited man, clutching his damaged shoulder and standing up to look at them, his whole body is shaking from the effort of standing up with that many bullets in him. She doesn’t know how many shots she was able to shoot him with, but by the looks of him he has hit a few bullets in him. How could he do this?

“Can you drive?” He nods and closes his eyes before starting to move his body with a grunt. He makes the car move and soon enough they manage to drive far enough away from the Arrow. He won’t be able to get to them here anywhere in the near future.

She dials 911 and tells them the location of their car, and then she hangs up and looks at him. His face is pale and is slumped back against the seat. His hands are clutching his stomach.

“Felicity?” He breathes out. She scans his body up and down, his whole face is starting to soften and he almost looks like… Like he’s relaxing.

“Don’t die, Oliver. Do you hear me? You’re not allowed to die!” She feels herself cry yet again, the tears are hitting her lap as she stares at his slouched body.

“Uh…” He grunts with his eyes focused on the steering wheel. He finally looks over to her and coughs a little, his pale face smiling slightly before coughing yet again and swallowing hard.

“Will you end things with him now?” He breathes out with a weak voice. What?

“Wha… what do you mean?” Her shaky voice has him trying to laugh before coughing again.

“You’re seeing someone else, and you know that I know that and that it’s fine.  We’re not together. I just saw the way you looked at him before you shot him, and I knew it was him.” She struggles to contain her thoughts as she watches his weak face. He knows. He always talks down about the Arrow, and she was certain he had some connection to him.

“I’m sorry. I…” She gets interrupted by him.

“I think you should choose me. Instead of him. I know I’ll never treat you as well as he does, and I know I’m not capable of everything you need, but he will never be. I might. I can live in the day, and you can know my name and who I am.” He looks at her with tired eyes. She leans over and kisses him lightly. His lips don’t respond as much as she wants them to, but perhaps that is as much as he is capable of. It feels like they are waiting for an eternity.

“Where the hell is that ambulance?” She says with a shaky voice.

“This wouldn’t be so bad.” He breathes out. He looks like he’s going to fall asleep at any moment.

“What?” She scoots over to his seat, pressing her hand at his wound, his hands have fallen to his sides now, and his face is turned to her. Sweat is covering his pale face, and suddenly he coughs and blood pools from his mouth.

“Oh…” He says as she wipes the blood off with his sweater that she is wearing. “I meant that this… wouldn’t be a bad… way to go.” Her whole body tenses and she feels her heart skip faster than ever. "With a beautiful girl next to me." He smiles slightly and looks her in the eyes.

“No, Oliver please.” She kisses his mouth again, and he tastes like blood. After she pulls away he coughs up more blood, his eyes fluttering shut. “Oliver, stay with me.” She hears the ambulance approaching them. He manages to open his mouth slightly, before talking with a raspy and low voice.

“I… love you…”

_The Arrow_

_(Present day)_

The snowy weather feels unforgiving against his bare arms as he powers through the street on his motorcycle. He must really consider going back to his older costume in this weather. He is going in a faster pace than he is used to, but something is forcing him to go this fast. The familiar alley where he stumbled through only days ago comes into sight. He slows down and parks the motorcycle in hiding behind a big dumpster. He climbs up the wall of the apartment building with less complications than last time. Okay, he did have a bullet inside of him then so it makes sense. The window hasn’t been fixed since he broke into it, and he easily manages to slip inside the apartment. It’s dark, and abandoned. The last time he’d been here… She’d taken care of him. She doesn’t know and will probably never know how much that meant to him, that she trusted him enough to help him. Him, a complete stranger and dressed in a costume. He knows that she was scared, but never of him doing anything to her. She was scared of the concept of a man breaking inside her building. She wasn’t scared of him. He notices her walls, the way her photos of her and her boyfriend makes the place feel much more personal. He wonders where her boyfriend always is whenever he is here. He hasn’t been here since he slept here, because after he slept on her couch he managed to sneak out before the sun rose and he went straight to his lair and slept for a whole day. His wound has gotten slightly better, but he knows it will take some time before it gets better and he can be at his best. For now, he’ll do what he can.

His thoughts are interrupted by keys opening the door, and he steps quietly behind the couch and lowers himself just in time. The door opens, and to his relief it’s only Felicity. She’s taking off her jacket, and he sees that she is wearing a wine red sweater and some black pants. She kicks her shoes off and looks over the apartment, noticing that it’s dark. She immediately gets out her cellphone and starts calling someone.

“Coop? Where are you?” Her voice is full of confusion. She listens and a frown appears on her face.

“Oh, well I thought you were going to come home at some point…” Her voice sounds disappointed, and her face is showing the same emotion.

“Okay, Coop I know you… Oh, I’m… God, I didn’t know that. Yeah, of course.” Her voice sounds worried and she starts pacing back and forth.

“You don’t have to Coop, if Simon needs you to be there then you should. No, you don’t have to come home if you think you need to be there… Oh, well okay then. When will you be home? Okay, bye then. See you in ten.” She hangs up the phone and stares at it for a while before sighing loudly and walking over to the couch while still looking down at her phone. Shit. He bends down and slowly walks away from the couch as quietly as he can. He manages to get to the shadows of the corner without her noticing. He can see her sitting down on the couch and putting her head in her hands before running them through her hair. Her whole face is revealed to him and he can’t help the words leaving his mouth.

“Felicity…” Her entire body jumps slightly at his words and he sees her head turning towards him. He steps out of the shadows and she is able to see him. She lets out a sigh of relief and smiles slightly at him.

“What are you doing here? God, you scared me.” She studies him, studies his figure. He can see she wants to get closer to him, the way her body slightly lifts off the couch before she sits down again, and in some way he wants that too. That’s really the reason he came here.

“I wanted to see you again.” She smiles shyly and he walks over to the couch before sitting down beside her. He isn’t as close as he wants to be, but he is keeping a slight distance.

“Felicity, I also wanted to thank you again for saving me.” His voice is sincere.

“You already did that.” Her eyes are searching for his beneath the shadow of his hood. His eyes remain fixated on hers, and the distance between them feels like miles. He feels as if he doesn’t get closer to her then he won’t see her or hear her.

“And it will never be enough to explain to you how grateful I feel.” She nods, like she understands what he’s trying to say to her. Like she ever could understand just how much.

“My boyfriend…” Her words throw him off this cloud he’s been feeling like he is on whenever he’s near her. “He’s going to be home in a few minutes. You should probably get going.” She glances at her clock and he feels like he’s lost. He wants to stay here, for as long as he can.

“I’ll go soon. If you want me to.” He looks down at his hands.

“I don’t want you to…” He glances up at her and she looks away. “But you have to. You can’t be here when my boyfriend gets home, you know that.” He nods as she says the words that are very much true.

“Yeah.” He stands up, looking at her for a while. Neither of them are saying anything, but perhaps that is for the best. Suddenly she stands up too, and the distance between them are much less now. He can almost feel her breath, and she is staring up into his eyes now.

“Please tell me your name. I won’t tell anyone, I promise.” He shakes his head.

“No, I can’t.” He answers, his eyes still on hers.

“Yes you can. I want to know your name. You don’t feel real to me. You feel like a ghost. You can tell me.” He shakes his head again. This time a little more furiously.

“No, Felicity. I _can’t_.” He looks into her disappointed and sad eyes. He wants to tell her. He wants to take off the hood, but he can’t do it. He can’t. “I don’t really know why I came here…” The distance between them somehow gets smaller without him doing anything by choice. He can feel her breath now, her eyes are barely open, yet still looking into his. Her mouth is slightly parted and she has a worried look on her face. “What are you doing to me?” He breathes out, before she lets out a shaky breath.

“Nothing you aren’t doing to me.” His hands wrap around her chin and their foreheads touch. He can feel her nose on his, even his mask is covering a part of it.

“We’ve only met once before.” He whispers to her, their position not changing.

“It feels like more.” She whispers back, their lips are so close to one another’s. “No…” Suddenly she moves away, her hand covering her mouth. “I’m sorry.”

He hears a knock on the door, and his body tenses.

“Lis? Open up, I forgot my key.” A male voice is heard from behind the door and he looks at Felicity. She looks up at him before he mutters ‘goodbye’ to her and steps into the shadows again.

He makes his way out the window, his body hovering outside it.

“Hey babe. Sorry it’s been so long. Simon’s not doing so good.” He hears her lips puckering his and he tenses up.

“It’s okay.” He doesn’t waste time leaving the apartment after her words. He’s driving for a long time on his motorcycle, before everything goes blank as usual.

 

_Oliver_

What the fuck? What the actual fucking fuck? Why did he tell her that? Fuck, he doesn’t know. All he knows is the way she looked at him after he’d said those things about his family is something he has been needing for years. It wasn’t pity, and it wasn’t fear. No, it was like she knew. She knew how it felt. That’s what he needs, it’s what his body has been craving for the last seven years, and he’s never gotten it until now. Because how could someone know, someone who hasn’t been through the same thing? Oh fuck. Realization hits him as he stares blankly at the shitty program at his TV. Has she gone through the same thing?

He gathers up some decent clothes and is out of his penthouse in only seconds. He pulls out of his parking spot and starts driving towards her apartment. It’s late now, he hasn’t seen her in five hours, but still he speeds towards her apartment. Somehow he needs to know these things that can’t be said through a cellphone. It is eleven in the evening and he feels like he’s going to pass out from exhaustion. That doesn’t make sense, all he’s done is watch TV… He parks outside her building and runs up the stairs until he reaches her apartment. He knocks more furiously than what he intended, but still he hears footsteps inside her apartment.

When the door swings open, he isn’t met with her pleasant face. Instead he is met with some teenager boy that looks like he’s just about gay. Okay, he’s not going to be judgmental… But still. How can Felicity be into someone like this? He’s

“Hey.” He says, and notices his tone suddenly has changed into a much darker one.

“Uh, hey. Who are you?” He glances up and down his body before he sees him realize his own question. “Oliver Queen?” He smiles slightly and offers his hand out to him. Ew.

“That’s right. You must be Cooper, yeah?” He shakes his hand even though he’d much rather use that hand to punch his smug face.

“Yeah!” Cooper has an ugly smile on his face. What, is this guy in love with him or something? He has to restrain himself so he doesn’t laugh. Fucking knew it.

“Pleasure.” He says sarcastically, but Cooper doesn’t seem to catch it.

“You’re her boss right?” He gets a slight frown on his face. He seems slightly alarmed. Should be, bitch. “I didn’t know all bosses pays visits to their IT worker’s homes?” Ugh, what a dickhead. If he’d just scat off to wherever the hell he goes all the time, it would be much better.

“We’re friends.” He keeps a calm tone, even though he’d like to shove his skinny ass away from the doorway. “I wanted to ask her something.”

“Uh, okay. I need to head out, but if you want to come in I guess that’s fine.” Cooper glances at his clock and swears before muttering something about being late and speeding down the hallway. Uh, okay. Finally, the wimp is gone.

“Felicity?” He calls out her name, and steps into the apartment. It’s quiet. He walks slowly inside and looks everywhere in her apartment. He spots the window is open, and he sprints over to it. He manages to close it, but he doesn’t see any sign of her.

“Oliver?” He hears her lovely voice behind him, and he turns around to face her. His eyes go wide as he sees her. She has just come out from the bathroom. Her hair is wet, and she’s _only wearing a towel._ Shit.

“Oh, shit I’m sorry.” He turns around and she chuckles a bit.

“It’s okay, Oliver. It’s not like I’m naked.” _No, but it sure as hell isn’t far away from it._ “It’s kinda sweet that you turned around like that, though. Way to behave like a gentleman.” She doesn’t say it sarcastically, but he knows it wasn’t because he wanted to be nice. It was because he is sure that if he’d stared longer he’d get a massive boner. Which would have been sort of disastrous. Which could have ended the only good thing that has appeared in his life recently.

“You shouldn’t get used to it.” He answers, hearing her go into her bedroom. He walks around awkwardly in her apartment, not sure what to do.

“Oh, well I could only hope.” She hears her giggle from her bedroom, and she exits having put on some decent clothes. He smiles slightly at her, her smile making his mouth go on automatic. For some strange reason, he has an urge to kiss her. He wants to feel her lips on his again, like the time in the bathroom. Oh god, he can’t think about that again… Okay, think disgusting thoughts. Think about… Cooper. Okay. Ew. Nailed it.

“Why does your boyfriend always go out. Is he never home?” He looks around in the apartment, noticing that there isn’t much screaming that a guy lives here. She mentioned earlier that they lived together, but wouldn’t there be more of a hint of… guy?

“Oh, well he’s always busy. He has an internship, so he takes night classes at Starling University. He often spends the night at his buddy’s place, since it’s so close to the premises.” She nods slightly and walks over to the kitchen.

“Okay.” He laughs slightly. He’s not going to call her an idiot, and he’s not going to stick his nose into their relationship to pry or anything, but she’s kinda gullible if she hasn’t suspected anything strange there.

“What?” She frowns at him, standing by the fridge. He laughs and she continues whatever it was that she was doing. “Why did you come here?” She takes out two beers from the fridge and gestures it to him with a questioningly look. He nods and walks over to her. He takes the beer and opens it up before sipping it and walking over to the couch. He sits down with a groan of tiredness and looks up at her.

“I was going to ask you something. Or rather, I was going to ask you if we could talk about something.” She takes a seat next to him, propping her feet up on the table in front of the sofa. It surprises him a little, because she doesn’t seem like the feet-up-on-the-coffee-table  person. Either way, it makes him be brave enough to do it too, sending a smile onto his face which makes her smile too. She seems to be waiting for him to say something.

“When I told you about… my family, I was sort of surprised with how you reacted to it…” Her face washes over with guilt. Like she thinks she did something wrong. Fuck.

“Oh, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to…” He interrupts her before she can go on about with her shit.

“No! No you don’t need to apologize. Fuck. What I meant was that I saw something on your face…” He looks down at his hands. “I didn’t see pity or fear or anything else. I didn’t see discomfort or uncertainty. I could tell you knew how it felt, to lose someone in that manner. And I haven’t gotten that look from someone. I haven’t felt compassion like that in a very long time. It felt good, it felt so good, until I realized that wasn’t a good thing at all.” Her face drops from guilty to sad in an instant. Shit, fuck he always does these things to her. “I’m sorry for asking, but I needed to know. Do you know how that feels?” He looks at her face, studying it. She looks up at him, her eyes are starting to fill with tears. He can tell he is right.

“Yes.” She answers simply. He doesn’t urge her to continue forward. He decides that she can make that decision herself. If she wants to tell him about her loss, she can. If she doesn’t, that’s okay. The silence doesn’t make him nervous or uncomfortable. It soothes him. Somehow this quiet with her is so… lovely.

“I lost my dad when I was seven. I don’t remember much, but I remember not understanding that he had died. I always looked around in the house for him. My mom, she died of cancer five years ago.” He is lost for words. She decided to confide in him. Somehow that means everything to him. “I don’t really have much family other than that. Except for Cooper, I mean. He was really there for me when my mom died. We started dating not long after that. I know you don’t like him…” She smiles a bit, through all of her tears.

“No, no I think he seemed… nice.” She lets out a breathy laugh. “I mean it, if he makes you happy, then I like him.” She smiles, not entirely convinced.

“It feels good telling you all this.” He reaches out and dries the tears on her face.

“I’m really glad you decided to tell me. Although, I hate seeing you cry.” She laughs a bit and looks him in the eyes. He quickly removes his hand, clearing his throat. Fuck. Way to make things awkward, dick.

“Sorry…” She looks away slightly.

“No, again, don’t apologize.” He looks at his clock. It’s half past eleven. Well, might as well head out then…

“I should probably go…” He shifts awkwardly, but seeing her disappointment makes him want to smile with all of his face. He doesn’t. Best for him, he’d have to punch himself in the dick if he was to do something that stupid…

“No, please don’t. You want to watch a movie? I have a lot of movies we could watch.” She smiles at him, and he nods. Together they choose a movie that looks exciting. None of them have watched it, but that’s what made them choose it. In the end, it’s a fucking stupid shit-ass movie that he doesn’t understand and frankly doesn’t want to understand.

But that’s okay. He wasn’t paying much attention to the movie anyway.


	5. Birds

Chapter 5

_Birds - Coldplay_

 

_Oliver_

_Her warm embrace fills his body with electricity and ignites the everlasting spark inside him that he always feels whenever he is in her presence. She buries her head in the crook of his neck, and he can feel her smiling against his neck. He can’t stop smiling, her words will forever change everything they know, but that’s okay. He feels as though nothing else matters right now. How could they? They don’t matter. All that matters is the life that is growing inside her belly. He can smell the familiar scent of her and he feels the warmth in his chest. She is laughing a laugh of relief. She had told him about her pregnancy and she was worried that he was mad. Mad? No, he wasn’t mad. He was happy, excited and proud. He is going to be a father._

_“God, I love you so much.” He laughs into her hair, her vanilla shampoo filling his nose. She clutches him once more before pulling away, pulling his face down to kiss her. Her beautiful brown hair is falling down in waves over her back, stopping just where her armpits are. He is certain he’ll never be as mesmerized with someone’s hair as he is with hers. Before they started dating in high school he’d always fantasize about blonde women. However, he’d been surprised with just how beautiful he’d find her to be one day._

_“I love you too, Ollie.” She wipes away the tears of joy and laughs a bit more. She kisses him once again and he responds as he always does. “We’re gonna have a baby.” She whispers against his lips and he can’t help the grin that appears on his face. It isn’t like he thought he would react to news like this. In his mind he would always break out in sweat and somehow flee the scene. That is, however, not the case here. Right now he feels as though he has never been happier about anything._

_When he pulls away from her kiss, he realizes this happened years ago. This isn’t real. It’s just a memory. A dream._

_“Lucy?” His voice is sad, because he remembers how he had found her in the car the day of the accident. How her eyes had stared into nothing. Now the same eyes stare into his, and he knows she isn’t really here. How could she? She died, and their baby girl along with her._

_The usual sting in his chest returns, because as he puts his hand against her cheek, she responds with her own hand over his. He doesn’t feel it. He doesn’t feel her warmth, or smell her scent._

_“You’re not real, are you?” He chokes out, trying to hold on to the tears that threatens to escape his eyes. She looks at him with sympathetic eyes._

_“No.” She looks at him still, her eyes never leaving his. Her green eyes are locked to his, and he keeps looking into them until they disappear as smoke in front of him. The last image he sees of them is the exact image he remembers from the day of the accident. The way her eyes showed no life in them. The way her hands clutched her bleeding stomach._

_“Oliver?” Felicity’s voice echoes behind him, and he turns to see her. He catches her blue eyes with his, and she is looking at him with a worried look._

_“What is it?” His voice is hoarse, making it sound somehow low. She looks at him as if he is supposed to know the answer to that question. Suddenly she points to something behind him, and he turns around. He faces a mirror, seeing the pale version of himself there. He is sweating with fear, and his eyes are red with lack of sleep. He turns to her again, his eyes giving her a confused look._

_“Don’t you see it, Oliver? Can’t you see who you really are?” He looks at the mirror again, his whole appearance seems off somehow. His face is much darker with shadows now._

_“I don’t know what you mean? Tell me what you mean, Felicity.” He pleads at her, aching to find out the answer behind her strange behavior._

_“See the man you become, Oliver. Don’t see yourself. See the other. See the truth.” Her eyes are riddled with a strange mixture of lust and fear. When he sees himself in the mirror, a faceless hooded figure is staring back at him._

_“She is dead. Don’t you see? We will be the death of her, you and me. Us.” He says, the low and raspy voice echoes in the room. “Me.” He laughs slightly, his low and haunting laugh is echoing now, sending shivers down his spine._

_“What?” He turns around to see Felicity, but he can’t see her anywhere._

_When he looks down at his feet, her lifeless body is slung beneath him. Her blue eyes are staring into nothing, her lifeless arms are clutching the slight baby-bump that is evident on her stomach. Blood pools from beneath her clothes, sending down a river of red at his feet. No! No… no no no no!_

_“No!”_

He jolts awake from the nightmare. He isn’t in his bed. This place seems so unfamiliar… Oh, he is in Felicity’s apartment. Fuck. He can feel weight on his body and he looks down to find her head resting on his chest. What? How did they end up like this? He doesn’t remember watching that damn stupid movie in this position.

He can smell her hair. It smells like lavender, and he can feel the warmth of her body on his. Fuck. No, she can’t be laying on top of him like this… Oh shit. He can feel it coming. The familiar tingle right down there… No, think of something else. Okay, he got it. Tommy the time he tried growing a beard right after high school. Yuck. That does it.

She is fast asleep, even as he moves she keeps breathing a loud and steady rhythm. He manages to wrap her in his arms and carry her to her bedroom without waking her. When he is about to unwrap his arms from her and leave, her hand fist in his sweater.

“No…” She mutters in her sleep. Her hand never leaves his sweater, and he drops onto the bed beside her, keeping a fair distance between them at all times. Her hand never releases his sweater.

 

_Felicity_

 

That Sunday when she had woken up with his sweater in her hand and his body hovering with a distance from hers, his face fast asleep, things had gotten slightly awkward for the next few days. The first week was filled with awkward run-ins and silent work-related stuff. She’d be working a little more closely with him than before now, and she decided that she couldn’t keep this up like this. It would just be more and more awkward. No, they needed to make up.

She walks up to his office, uninvited, and that fact alone almost gets her thrown out the building. His secretary demands that she waits for an invitation, but she keeps walking in. When she sees he’s on the phone and his secretary comes in and threatens to call security he waves his secretary off. He finishes his phone call pretty soon with surprisingly few words. His face looks stern and focused, like it usually does whenever he is at work. It’s been almost two weeks since she first met him, and it’s strange that she knows things like this.

“Can I help you with something?” He groans, his hands going through his hair while he exhales a nervous sigh. She can tell he’s somehow nervous or slightly stressed. Maybe even a bit annoyed.

“Oh, well I was just seeing if you’d have any time to talk now. If it’s a bad time…” The stern and slightly annoyed look disappears and he shakes his head.

“No… I could use a lunch break. Do you want to go somewhere?” The way he is acting more natural around her now has her shaking her head before even thinking about it. She knows they’re only friends, but somehow being in his presence feels like cheating on Cooper. Still, she knows that somehow she can’t not be around him. They move out of the building, and decides on going to a café. He orders himself food and she decides on doing the same. Along with some coffee, of course.

“So what did you want to talk about?” His tone is starting to reverse back to that awkward state again.

“Well, I know things have been a little bit awkward lately.” He nods slightly, moving his lips into his mouth. He looks out the window of the café, watching as the common people moved outside. “I just don’t want that to ruin… our friendship or whatever it was. It kinda… It kind of is important…” She moves her hand to her neck and starts rubbing the back of it.

“I… Uh, it’s important to me too, but the way we woke up on Sunday was a little uncalled for. I just don’t want to cause something between you and your boyfriend. That’s not my intention, I swear.” His face is filled with seriousness. She knows he is sincere.

“You won’t. It wasn’t… I don’t think we should continue waking up like that, but it’s fine. It didn’t mean anything, and that’s what matters I guess.” She stares out the window on the people passing by, just like he did. She can see him staring at her, knowing somewhere deep inside her that there’s not all truth in her words. Shut up, it is the truth. It has to be. It is, isn’t it?

“I guess so.” He mumbles. Suddenly she realizes something. He is so much sexier and more handsome than Cooper. Sure, Cooper is very handsome, but he’s not sexy the way Oliver is. The way his blue eyes can pierce into her, and make her feel all sorts of things. She has never felt something like that when she is near Cooper. It’s like an electric barrier between her and Oliver, and her body is begging for her to penetrate it. The way his face seems to be even sexier once he is working and has a serious look on it, it makes her realize that he _is_ her type. The beard, the stern look and the occasional rude behavior is extremely sexy. He looks like sex, and damn it, she wants him bad.

She manages to toss those thoughts aside, because how can she think like that when she is with Cooper? She loves Cooper, she has for many years now. You don’t toss something like that away because you are attracted to someone. At least, she would never do that. They finally get their food and coffee and start eating. The food manages to take her mind off that subject.

“What the hell?” Oliver is eyeing her, his face showing a slight frown.

“What?” She says with her mouth full of food. He makes a grimace.

“The way you eat is fucking disgusting. Come on, Felicity. At least keep your mouth closed when you chew, it’s called manners.” He makes an even wider grimace and starts laughing. She can’t help but laugh, and she hits him playfully on his arm. That just makes him laugh even worse.

“Oh shut up and stop being mean! And stop laughing!” She still has her mouth full of food, and he starts to laugh even more. Their meal becomes very pleasant, proving that they can have fun without thinking about all the things that she doesn’t want to think about.

“You should come with me and my friends to this karaoke bar tomorrow.” She sips at her coffee and he looks her in the eyes.

“Your friends? Uh…” He quickly looks away. “Don’t know…” He mutters and sips at his coffee.

“What? Why don’t you want to be with my friends?” She isn’t mad or confused, but her tone is curious. He did seem to have more fun talking to her friends than his that Friday they went out.

“I don’t know, they’re not really my type of group, you know? I don’t even know them that much…” She frowns slightly.

“You know me.” He looks at her and smiles. It’s true. Cooper may know stuff about her, but she has experienced now that she has gotten deeper with Oliver than she ever did with Cooper. He usually just either talked about himself or tried as hard as he could to listen to her, but noticeably failing.

“That’s true…” He nods and sips his coffee. “Your friends are sort of geeky, though.” He laughs a bit.

“Yeah, and yours are complete douches. We have different groups of friends, okay? I mean, you should at least try to like them. I’m most certain that if you were to get to know Barry you would become best friends with him.” He laughs, it’s a slightly mocking laugh. But that’s okay, she doesn’t mind his slightly rude comments and his mocking anymore. She kind of misses it at times, actually.

“Best friends? Seriously? This isn’t fucking middle school.” He laughs even more. “If I have a best friend it’s Tommy.” He stops laughing as much and looks at her. “Although I’m pretty sure I haven’t talked to him about anything close to what we have talked about.” She smiles slightly. He feels the same way about that. He hasn’t talked to anyone like he has talked to her, and she certainly hasn’t either.

“Tommy? Really?” She raises her eyebrows at him and he frowns slightly.

“Yeah. We have known each other since we were born, I guess. We’re not that… We don’t really talk about anything other than girls. Who we have fucked, how we fucked them, who we wish to fuck…” She cringes slightly at his word, and she can see he notices when he laughs slightly.

“So, you want to come or not? I promise it’s going to be fun.” She smiles at him and she can see he is fighting back a smile.

“Fuck… all right then. When and where?” He looks at her with a pouty look, but soon enough he smiles.

“Tomorrow at seven. You could swing by my place and I can show you where it is?” She smiles at him, seems like these days she’s always smiling like an idiot. Huh.

“Sure.” He chugs down the rest of his coffee and asks her if she wants to go. They walk down the street towards the building, walking slowly and talking like friends do.

“So, what are you going to do the rest of the day.” She looks over at him after her question and he looks down on the ground, thinking about what to answer.

“Probably going for a workout.” He shrugs and looks down at her.

“You work out a lot, don’t you?” She is always so fascinated with how much he actually works out. He even has workout equipment in his apartment.

“Yeah, well I don’t do much else really. Work and then, well… workout.” He shrugs again.

“Don’t you ever feel tired? ‘Cause whenever I work out I’m totally dead during and then after.” He laughs slightly.

“No. Although, I do sometimes black out during workouts. So I don’t really feel exhausted until I’m done.” She frowns, looking up at him in surprise.

“Black out? You black out? Like, you have no control?” She sounds concerned, which she is. That isn’t something good.

“Don’t worry, Felicity. It’s nothing serious. You know how when you’re so used to something that you don’t remember even doing it because you’re so used to doing it that you don’t have to use your mind to do it? Well, it’s something like that. That, or I’m so angry when I’m punching the bag that I just black out.” He laughs slightly, but she doesn’t join. He notices pretty soon. “Felicity, I’m serious. Don’t worry about me I’m fine.”

 

When she gets home to her apartment, she sees that Cooper isn’t home as usual. These days he seems to not even drop by their apartment. She has seen him twice in almost two weeks. They live together, how could this happen all the time. She misses his… Well, she was about to think about the things she misses but then she remembers the last few months. Hell, the last three years. They moved there so that he could finish his studies here, but once they got here she barely saw him. It’s been like this for three years. Her life as been filled with so much work that… That she didn’t realize how much he is gone. Truth be told, he has been less and less home the last month, at least he used to be there every afternoon eating dinner with her. Now he’s never here…

She picks up her phone and dials his number. When someone answers, it isn’t Cooper…

“Hello?” A woman’s voice is heard from the other line. Her body freezes, not being able to get out a word. “Who is this?” She blinks a few times before managing to speak.

“Who’s this?” She says, avoiding her exact same question. The woman on the other line giggles a bit before answering.

“I’m Mary. You didn’t answer me.” She sounds hot… She probably is. Mary… Mary? Wait, she remembers Cooper mentioning a Mary in his class.

“Oh, I’m Felicity. This is my boyfriend’s number?” She manages to keep her tone neutral, hoping that whatever it sounded like was okay. She doesn’t want to make a big fuzz, she wants to talk to Cooper.

“Oh, okay…” Her tone is a little worried, or perhaps a little stressed. Whatever it is, it’s not something she wants to deal with now. She wants to deal with it when Cooper comes home. Whenever that is. She knows that all of this sounds like putting too much faith into Cooper, but five years with someone is significant and it’s such a huge part of her life. A phone call with someone and taking assumption shouldn’t end it like that. If Cooper isn’t telling her the truth when she speaks with him, she’ll know. She will.

“Hey, um, I gotta go. If you see him could you tell him that I called and want him to come home?” She hears the woman agree to it and ends the call.

The rest of the evening is spent on her sitting in front of the TV and staring blankly at it, with Cooper in her thoughts. After perhaps three hours she can see the sky has gotten dark and all she wants to do is go bed. She stands up and feels a slight breeze. She hears something rattling behind her, and soon a familiar scent is filling her nose. She can feel his breath behind her.

“Why are you here?” She breathes out. The arrow is standing directly behind her, and all she can do is breathe. She can’t move. She should, but somehow it’s impossible.

“Where is your boyfriend? Why is he never here?” His low voice fills her ears, and she can feel a chill going down her spine.

“He’s out. He’s very busy, and frankly I don’t know why.” She turns her head slightly, feeling his nose gently brushing against her face. She feels a fire going through her body as soon as his face touches hers slightly. “You haven’t answered my question.” She breathes out.

“I’m here because I had to see you.” She feels her breathing quickening and she feels his nose move down to her neck.

“I can’t do this. I don’t know you, and I have a boyfriend. You can’t be here.” She doesn’t want to say the words, but all her common sense is taking over. As it should.

“I know.” He breathes in through his nose, and she feels him step back. She longs for his breath on her skin, but she doesn’t do anything about it.

“Why do you always have to see me?” She watches him, his eyes raking over her face in a relaxed expression.

“Because when you saved me, it struck something inside me. No one has ever been kind like that.” He takes a step forward, standing so close to her that she can again feel his breath on her. This time, they are facing each other. He takes her face in his gloved hands. “In a life that has been filled with darkness, once I’ve seen the light I can’t help but chase after it. It’s like I’ve been showed a new emotion that is like a drug to me. I can’t toss it away, and I keep chasing after it even though it will never stop for me. It will never stop running, and it will never end well, but I can’t stop now. I can’t.” He presses his nose to hers, and she feels the familiar flame ignite inside her. “You are so kind Felicity. So kind, and so beautiful. How could I not need to see you?” His body is much taller than hers, so he stands up and presses a gentle kiss to her forehead. This is so wrong, but it feels more right than ever. “I also brought you your hoodie. I thought you might like to get it back.” He releases her face gently and hands her a neatly folded hoodie. It’s her favorite hoodie, and she brings it to her nose. It smells like him.

“Thank you.” She mutters against the hoodie. His eyes are smiling at her, and she can spot the familiar blue color. His face is always dark, but now it’s more in the light. She can see some handsome features in his face. They seem so familiar…

“I should go.” He mutters, looking her in the eyes. He turns to climb out the window again, but her voice stops him right before he exits.

“Will you show up again?” Her voice is hopeful, and somehow she can see it in his eyes that he is glad she asked him.

“Yes.” He answers simply before jumping out and leaving her standing in the middle of her living room, a fire still burning deep inside of her.

She hears a knock from the door almost instantly after he has left, and when she opens it Cooper is standing there. He is looking at her with pleading eyes.

“Coop?” She says, not expecting to see him. She can’t help but wonder if he is here because of that phone call.

“Hey, Lis.” He enters the apartment and stops in the living room. He looks back at her, his eyes are slightly red.

“Are you drunk?” He looks at her with a surprised look. It’s a Thursday, it would be sort of strange if he was drunk now.

“No, I had a few beers though. We were watching a game before class. I decided not to go, guess I had a few too many beers.” He walks over to her and kisses her. She kisses him back, but soon after she breaks it. She can’t help but compare it to the time she and Oliver kissed. It doesn’t do anything to her, not like Oliver’s kiss did to her.

“Coop, why did a girl pick up your phone. Mary, I think it was?” He blinks rapidly and looks at her. He lets out a breath and smiles slightly.

“Oh, is that why you seem mad? Thank god, I thought I forgot our anniversary or something.” He laughs slightly. She notices he’s had a few beers, he seems so giddy.

“Coop, please explain.” Her tone is calm, but inside her body it’s like she is screaming. If he is cheating on her, it would explain a lot. However, she shouldn’t be too quick to judge either.

“Mary, I told you she went to my class, right?” He doesn’t look nervous or guilty, which is either a good sign, or a bad one. She nods at his words, crossing her arms. “Well, I forgot my phone in the lecture hall so she took it with her. She went to Simon’s apartment where we were all hanging out and she told me you wanted me to come home.” He smiles at her.

“That’s all?” She asks. His story seems possible, yet her mind isn’t entirely convinced. It all gets explained here, yet when she looks at the fact that suggests he is cheating, it all adds up too.

“Yes. I also came home because I needed to see you. God, I wish you weren’t at work so much during the day and I wasn’t at work or school at night. I miss you so much.” He wraps his arms around her, and she rests her head against his chest. His chest isn’t as soft and comfortable as Oliver’s, and his scent isn’t as compelling as the arrow’s.

He releases her and brings her lips to his. As she kisses him, she can’t decide whether or not he was lying. His voice held no lies, but she couldn’t decipher any truth either. Her mind would be going back and forth, but in 24 hours she will know the truth. The whole truth. And in 24 hours Oliver will have his hands around Cooper’s neck.

 


	6. What went down

Chapter 6

_What went down - Foals_

 

_Oliver_

By the time is seven that day, he is fucking nervous. Fucking nervous. What the hell? He’s not a fucking teenager and he’s definitely not a person that gets nervous. Fucking hell. Felicity has him this way, all nervous and wondering what the hell the evening will hold. He wonders if that boyfriend will be there. God, he hopes not. He was acting all weird. Obviously, he could have been gay. Although he has been with Felicity for a long time… If he gets her drunk enough to talk about their relationship, he might be able to figure it out. However, he could just have been high or something. Now that he thinks back on it, his eyes were a little red… No, he must be tampering with his own memories.

He stands outside her door and waits for her to open up for him. He’s wearing a black blazer with a white shirt that has a black collar, and then jeans. The first few buttons are open on his shirt, and the first thing Felicity does when she opens up the door for him is to look down those buttons. Huh. She looks up at him again, and he can see that she knows that he noticed it, and now she is blushing. Cute.

“Hey.” He says. She relaxes a bit more and he smiles a little at her. Damn, she’s always so beautiful. Even when she’s hung-over she is beautiful.

“Hello, you want to go? The rest of the gang is already there.” She smiles understandingly, and he gets confused. He frowns and looks down at his clock. It says seven.

“My clock says seven, and you asked me to come here by then so… Did I hear wrong?” He looks her in the eyes as hers darts down to her own watch.

“No, the clock is seven thirty.” She laughs a bit and looks at him. Shit. “Maybe you need a new watch?” She smiles slightly and he shakes his head.

“No, I don’t need a fucking new watch.” He spits out. Shit, he wasn’t trying to be so rude. Although it is a touchy subject, he hates acting this mean towards her. She looks slightly taken aback by his words, and he lets out a sigh. “Let’s go.” He starts walking down the hallway and lets her lead the way after they exit her apartment building.

The bar is about five minutes from her apartment, and he notices the familiarity of her neighborhood, frowning as they walk past an alley right by her apartment. Uh.

“Really? This is the place?” He doesn’t sound very excited as they stand outside a small bar with a neon sign.

“Oh don’t be so judgmental, you prick. Come on, it doesn’t matter where we are Oliver, it’s who we’re with.” She winks at him and enters the small bar. She _winked_ at him. It wasn’t an innocent wink either. It was a full on dirty wink. Or maybe he imagined that. Either way, he has to take a few breaths before entering. His heart rate is dangerously high as he enters the bar, hoping that his excitement isn’t still evident.

“Hey dude, nice to see you again.” A tall dude, the one with the sort of creepy face is smiling at him and walking up to him. He doesn’t remember his name, if he ever caught it in the first place. It certainly wasn’t his intention to do so, ever. He notices him not responding and quickly realizes he doesn’t remember him. “I’m Ray, we met last time at Verdant. Didn’t you catch my name?” He doesn’t change expression. It’s not like he needs to be rude to him, he has been pleasant to every other friend of Felicity’s, it’s just that he noticed how he was looking at her the last time, how his eyes had raked up and down her body. Fucking hell. His blood is boiling with the thought.

“Okay.” He responds and walks past him to sit down next to Barry. He will admit that he, sort of, have known Barry for a while. He’s a scientist that he’s been wanting for his company ever since he bought it.

“Hey Allen.” He mutters to him, and Felicity comes back with beers for all of them. She sits down on the opposite side right over where he is sitting, and they all start talking. He doesn’t partake much in their conversation, because he doesn’t know shit about Star Fights (or was it Star Wars?). All he does is look at her, and how her face seems to light up once she gets to talk about something she likes. He notices how much of her face he can see now that her glasses aren’t on her face. Her hair isn’t in a ponytail, it’s in waves down her shoulders. Fuck, those waves… She eventually goes off with her friend Iris and talks to her at the bar for a long time, before returning yet again with more drinks. This time he told her to get him something stronger. She doesn’t look as happy as she did a few moments ago. Her eyes keep wandering off whenever they get eye contact. What did Iris say to her?

He sits there staring like an idiot for at least another hour before something happens. The bar door opens and all of them look up to see the last person he would like to see now. Fucking Cooper.

 

_Felicity_

 

She notices pretty soon into their conversation that Oliver has little to none interest in their subject. Either way he seems to look happy, sending her a few glares of joy here and there. She knows somehow he is mocking her for having slightly… (she doesn’t like the word, but she doesn’t know how else to describe them) geeky friends. They talk abut science, at which point he looks like his head is going to explode from information. Either way, he drinks his beer and looks like he is enjoying himself. Iris is sitting next to her in the booth, and suddenly she is whispering in her ear.

“Come with me to the bar, now.” Her voice is serious, and she quickly stands up and walks to the bar. Felicity follows, with a confused look on her face as she approaches the bar. Iris eyes her, not with judging eyes, but something that isn’t far off. She orders them all drinks before returning her attention to Felicity.

“What is it, Iris?” He scans her friends’ face. It’s somewhat questioning.

“What’s going on with you? Where is Cooper?” Her face is slightly shocked now.

“Uh, I’m fine Iris. Coop is either at school or his mate. Why do you ask? I told you he’s busy these days.” She eyes her and she notices that’s not what she asked for.

“Felicity, did you notice how Oliver looked at you?” She frowns in confusion. “Because I did, and the fact that Cooper hasn’t been out with us the last month, I mean not even once… It makes me suspicious, okay?” Her mouth hangs open with Iris’ words. Did Oliver look at her in some special way?

“What do you mean Oliver looked at me?” Iris looks back at Oliver and he seems to be chatting lightly to Barry now.

“I mean he was staring at you the whole time. Seriously, that guy either wants to get into your pants, or he’s in love with you.” She bursts out in laughter when she hears Iris’ words. Oliver? In love with her?

“Iris we have known each other for almost three weeks! That’s nothing!” Iris doesn’t change expression. “Oliver is not in love with me, he barely knows me, and I barely know him. We’ve gotten a bit close, but only as friends.”

“Well, he didn’t look at you like he was your friend.” Iris grabs some of the drinks and she does the same.

They all sit down and she keeps stealing glances at Oliver, before quickly looking away once he notices. She knows she looks sort of weird now, with all the glances and then quickly looking away. However, her head is swimming with questions and alcohol.

Suddenly the bar door opens and Cooper steps inside. Apparently it’s been snowing, and he dusts off snow of his beanie before taking a seat next to her, shoving Cisco to the side without a second glance, which of course makes Cisco give her an insulted look.

“Hey, babe.” He greets her, and kisses her lips lightly. His appearance is sort of stranger than usual, but he probably had a few beers or something before he came here. His hair is ruffled slightly, and his cheeks are slightly red from walking outside in the cold weather.

“Hey, Coop. How did you know I was here?” She smiles lightly, but mostly she is feeling annoyed by his presence. She is annoyed that the only time he actually makes time for her is when she is out with her friends drinking.

“Oh, I figured. This is our place, you know. We always go here so I figured I’d check if you guys were here.” He smiles a sly smile at her.

“So you didn’t want to drink with your friends, then?” She whispers to him. She doesn’t want the entire group to hear her annoyance towards him.

“Oh come on, babe. Don’t be like that. I wanted to be with you tonight. Okay, how about we get some beers here?” He smiles at the others and snaps his fingers at the bartender.

She looks over at Oliver. He is staring blankly at Cooper, and his jaw is slightly clenched. He catches her eye and stands up.

“I’m gonna go piss.” He mumbles to the group before disappearing down the bar to the restrooms. Cooper looks at him while he disappears into the room and then opens his mouth to speak.

“You know what, now that I think about it I really have to pee too. I’ll be right back.” Cooper disappears the same path as Oliver, and leaves her wondering what the hell might happen in that bathroom.

 

_Oliver_

When he enters the bathroom, he checks if it’s empty. When he finally finishes and sees that it is in fact empty, he lets out a roar and punches one of the stall doors so hard it leaves a bump in the metal. He lets out a few long breaths after and grunts angrily before walking over to the sinks and washing his slightly red hand with cold water.

“Shit, man.” He hears an annoying voice by the door of the bathroom, and sees Cooper leaning against the shut door. He has an ugly smirk on his face, and his gaze moves to the bump on the stall door.

“Damn, how strong are you?” He walks over to the door and traces the bump with his finger. What the fuck? “You sure have some anger issues, buddy.”

“What the fuck do you want?” He is still bubbling with anger, and this kid is getting on his nerves.

“Oh, I didn’t want anything with you actually. I just came in here to light this.” He takes out a joint from his pocket and smirks. Oh, of course…

“Fucking hell, I knew there was something about you. At first I thought you were just gay, but now I see that I was right about my second thought.” He laughs judgingly and sees Cooper react to the fact that he thought he was gay. The weed, however, explains why he was so giddy last time. Fuck yeah, he didn’t imagine the red eyes. When he looks up at Cooper again, he is lighting the thing. For fucks sake.

“What the hell are you doing, she’ll notice.” He uses a pissed off tone, his face riddled with anger towards this worthless prick. Who does he think he is, getting high without Felicity knowing so?

“Oh no, she won’t. I’ve been doing this for more than five years, bro. She never does, man. Hell, I was high when I walked in here.” He chuckles at his own words and takes a deep drag from the joint. When he lets out the smoke, he closes his eyes and groans. “Fuck yeah, that always does it.” He eyes Oliver with a smirk, and soon he is holding out the joint to him.

“No. Fuck no.” He spits back at him.

“Come on. You need it. Hell, you even punched a fucking wall because… Well, I got no fucking clue, perhaps you’ve got a thing for my girlfriend or something. I don’t care. However, you seriously need it dude. Come on, it will be fine.” He is still holding out the weed, and he starts debating whether or not to do it. He remembers when he used to, right after she died. He remembers how much it helped take the pain away, and the anger. The thought alone makes the decision for him. He grabs the joint and guides it to his mouth. He takes a long drag of it, and takes in all the familiar feelings. Shit. When he lets the smoke out, his eyes wander to the back of his head. Fuck, it feels amazing.

 

_Felicity_

She watches as Oliver and Cooper exits the bathroom and walks over to their table laughing loudly at something. Something has changed with Oliver, she can see it. He doesn’t look as brooding as he did before he went into the bathroom. No, he’s smiling and laughing at something Cooper is saying, clutching his stomach when he bursts out in laughter.

“Are you okay?” She asks Oliver once he is by the table and sits down on his seat. He smiles at her, and she notices the change in his eyes. They seem somehow glassier, and more red… He chuckles at her words and shrugs.

“I’m fine.” He laughs immediately after and finishes his drink in one long sip. When he finishes he grunts out and coughs a bit, which makes Cooper laugh beside her.

“Oh don’t worry, babe. He is quite alright.” Cooper says with a hint of humor in his voice, and he stretches his arm out and leans it over her shoulder. She frowns slightly at his action, and then she notices it too. He also has red eyes. Oh god.

“Can you come with me to the bar Cooper?” He smirks at her and nods. “You too Oliver.” Oliver flickers his eyes to hers in confusion, but soon enough he is smiling and standing up. She sees the others eyeing them as they walk over to the bar, but soon enough they seem like they don’t care and continues their conversation.

“What the hell?” She smacks them both on their heads and they both flinch at her sudden action. Cooper looks pissed as hell, and Oliver looks genuinely surprised.

“What?” Cooper hisses at her, and she notices the way Oliver’s eyes dart to Cooper. If looks could kill…

“You guys are high.” She doesn’t question it, because she knows that she is right. The looks both of them get makes her know that she is indeed right.

“Look babe, just relax…” Cooper starts. His tone is utterly annoyed, and she is starting to get really mad at how he is acting. He seems so pissed off, but she is the one who should be.

“No! I will not relax. You guys got high in the bathroom. You fucking did drugs, do either of you even know what that means to me?” She feels her anger taking over, but she doesn’t mind because right now they need to understand that this isn’t acceptable. Oliver looks like he has been told he has murdered someone without his own knowledge. He looks so guilty and sad. Cooper, however, doesn’t change his expression at all. He looks so pissed.

“Can we go home, please?” Cooper’s question doesn’t sound pissed, although he looks like it. She nods and accepts the offer, because right now she just wants to go to sleep. Oliver looks just as guilty, but now also disappointed. He grabs her arm just as she is about to follow Cooper to get their things.

“Look, Felicity, I didn’t know you had some personal feelings towards…” She cuts him off. He wouldn’t know. Cooper would, because she has told him countless times. But Oliver? She can’t blame him for something she has never told him.

“No, Oliver. It’s not your fault. I’m kind of disappointed that you chose to do it, but I’m not judging you, of all people. It’s Cooper’s fault.” She pauses for a short moment. His hand is still wrapped around her arm, and his warmth is building a fire inside her. The feel of his electric touch is like a drug of it’s own on her. “He’s the one who offered it, wasn’t he?” She looks at him as he nods, and disappointment washes over her.

She leaves the bar with silence as she walks besides Cooper. The entire walk home is sort of awkward, and Cooper is staring at the ground with a pissed look on his face the entire time. When they reach the apartment, she is about to go put on her pajamas and go to bed when he grabs her by the arm.

“What the hell, Felicity? Why did you do that?” His angry tone starts to scare her as his eyes pierce into hers.

“Do what?” She fights off his grip on her arm, but soon enough he retreats it.

“You fucking smacked me.” She lets out a shocked grasp as he guides her to the wall of their living room.

“Yeah, I smacked you. You know how I feel about drugs, after what happened to my father. How did you think I was going to react to you getting high, and for the record now that I think about it you probably have been getting high for a long time.” She hisses back. He finally looks a little guilty, and releases her arm.

“I’m sorry, Felicity.” He mumbles. She doesn’t take it.

“No, you know what, I’ve had it with your excuses. You’re never here anymore, Coop! Where the fuck are you when you’re not home? Tell me the truth, and don’t give me that you’re at a friend’s apartment.” She looks him in the eyes as she talks, and she knows that she has hit a nerve.

“I’m…” He starts, but never finishes.

“The time I called you and a girl answered, you didn’t forget it in class, did you?” She can feel the tears pressing onto her eyes, but she doesn’t let them fall. She won’t waste more tears on him.

“No.” He answers. He must know that he can’t lie in this state that he is in. She nods at his words.

“Tell me where you are, then.” He is debating whether or not to tell her, but soon enough he grows the balls and tells her. Maybe he has realized that they are pretty much over at this point anyways, so maybe all the lies aren’t worth it.

“I’m living with her. Mary.” He mumbles. She lets out a shocked breath. What the hell?  
“You’re… You’re living with her?” She can’t believe it.

“Yeah, I’ve been living with her for a while. It started off as a way to easily get to bed after classes, but we…” He stops his words, and she knows her suspicions were true. He has been cheating on her.

“All this time, you’ve been living with her and making me pay for rent, for your education… How could you? You’ve been stringing me along for five fucking years!” She is yelling now, and she can’t believe how this person in front of her has been a complete lie for so many years.

“I’m sorry, Felicity. I couldn’t afford to break up with you…” She interrupts him in his words and slaps him hard across his face. He groans in shock, and looks at her with big eyes.

Soon she feels a sharp pain on her face, and then more. It only takes a few seconds for everything to go dark…

 

 _“Felicity?”_ Somewhere a familiar voice is echoing in her mind, yet she can’t seem to comprehend what is happening. Everything is dark, and her head is pounding like crazy.

“Felicity?” She hears Oliver’s panicked voice filling her ears, and she opens her eyes to look him straight in the face. He is kneeling beside her body on the floor of her apartment, and his face is hovering over hers, only inches from her. “Fuck, are you alright?” He brushes his fingers on her face, and a sharp pain appears.

“Ow.” She whines in pain, and his face get even more worried. “Uh, I think so.” He cradles her head, and she feels a pain in the back. He removes one of his hands and it’s covered in blood.

“You have a small wound at the back of your head, but you’re awake and responsive, so I believe you should be alright.” He wraps his arms around her body and lifts her off of the ground. She lays in his arms and she feels her eyes wanting to close.

“I’m tired.” She whispers to him, and she feels him lifting her closer to him. Her head is nested in neck, and she feels his jaw at the top of her aching head.

“It’s okay. I’m taking you to my apartment.” He whispers back.

 

When she wakes up, she feels a cloth on her face. Oliver is looking at her face with a focused look as he cleans her face. She looks around, noticing that she is in his apartment.

“What happened?” He asks her, the anger in his tone is evident. She knows he has suspicions, ones that are all true.

“Cooper…” She manages to speak, and his face washes over with an anger she has never witnessed before. Soon enough he is up on his feet and is hurtling out the door in a pace she has never witnessed. She watches as his large body exits the apartment, shutting the door with such a force that she feels vibrations.

Several minutes goes by, and in this state she is unsure of how much time it actually is, but in her guess she would say about fifteen minutes for Oliver to burst into the apartment with one hand fisted into Cooper’s shirt. His force is so strong that Cooper nearly flies into the apartment.

“Oliver!” She yelps, and he doesn’t even look at her. Once he is inside her living room, he grabs Cooper by his neck and pins him against the wall. Cooper has a look of utter terror on his face as Oliver is holding him by the neck.

“What the fuck gives you the right to punch a woman, to punch her? You sick fucker! SHE COULD HAVE FUCKING DIED!” Oliver screams in his face, and Cooper whimpers. The rest of the following actions happens so fast, and she can’t move as she watches how it all unfolds. He clenches his fist, and soon it soars through the air. He hits Cooper across the face, again and again. Cooper however, manages to kick Oliver in the crotch. At this point, Oliver groans slightly and is thrown off a bit and stumbles back. Cooper manages to jump onto him and pin Oliver onto the ground. Once he hits the ground, Oliver yells as Cooper hits him. She can see the blood splattering from Oliver’s nose. However, it doesn’t take long for Oliver to overpower him and grab him by the neck again before standing up and throwing him across the room like he weighed nothing. He hits the floor with a thud and a whimper, before coughing.

Oliver clutches his nose and almost stumbles over, but manages to steady himself. She can see that his nose is bleeding a lot, and is starting to swell. His jaw is clenched in anger, and she hears his heavy breathing

“Oliver! Are you okay?” She manages to get up from her position, at last, and walks over to an Oliver who is still clutching his nose. She touches his hand, and he looks her in the eyes. His eyes are sheading tears, either of anger or shock. In the background, she hears Cooper grunt. He has gotten up on his feet by now, and is watching them with furious eyes.

“What are you going to do now, huh?” He is talking to her. “Who’s going to watch over you, Felicity? Who is going to care for you?” He is looking directly at her as he speaks.

“Who is going to love you?” He screams at them. His expression is psychotic. His while appearance is. Oliver once again has the anger riddled on his face, and he doesn’t hesitate as he walks over to him and wraps his fingers around his neck once again.

“I am.” He answers in a deep tone, and punches him once again over the face before dragging him to the door and throwing him out of it.

“If I ever see you again, if you ever talk to her ever again, don’t expect it to end like this. I’ll make sure you won’t lay a hand on anyone ever again. Now fuck off.” Oliver shuts the door in yet again such a strong force that she feels vibrations. His eyes land on her.

_I am._

It’s all she can think about.


	7. Out of the Woods

Chapter 7

_Out of the Woods - Taylor Swift_

 

_Felicity_

_I am._

It’s like those two little words go on repeat in her head, making her head spin. Perhaps that was because of the attack from Cooper earlier, but she is sure it has something to do with those words too. She doesn’t know how to feel.

_“Who is going to love you?”_

_“I am.”_

What did he mean by that? Surely he must have simply meant he was going to look after her from now on. She always gets that feeling that it’s what he wants. He surely showed it tonight. She keeps wondering about him, as he kneels in front of her where she is laying on the couch. His nose has bled a lot, and the streams of blood are still stained on his nose going down to his chin. He brings a warm, wet cloth onto her face. It feels amazing, and her eyes find his as he cleans up her blood-stained face.

“We sure must look crazy right now.” He chuckles, and she can’t help but laugh. It’s true, they are both covered in blood. His whole face is kind of beaten up, but compared to Cooper it’s nothing.

“Thank you for what you did tonight.” She whispers to him, her voice still strained from her screaming match with Cooper. God, even saying his name feels so foreign. Somehow their relationship has been over ever since she laid eyes on Oliver. She knows that now, looking into his blue eyes she knows it’s completely true. It wasn’t because of the alcohol that she kissed him that night. No, it was him. It was always him. He’d been so rude, yet still so good too. She can see he is broken, but she knows there is a true man inside of him.

“Nothing to thank me for…” He starts, but she won’t have it.

“No, it is Oliver. You didn’t have to do any of that…” She doesn’t get to finish either.

“Yes I did.” He looks her straight in the eyes, not hiding any emotion for perhaps the first time since she met him. His eyes tell her everything, that he wants to protect her, and that he is worried. She can tell as much.

“Well, thank you anyways.” She puts her small hand over his large one which is still cleaning her face. He tenses up, focusing his gaze on her. His warmth is surging through her entire body.

“I’ll always be here to protect you.” His eyes focus intensely on hers, and she swears their faces pull towards one another withouth them controlling it. Suddenly it seems like he realizes what is happening, and clears his throat. However, his face never pulls away, now only inches from hers. “You should get some sleep.” He mutters softly to her. She frowns slightly.

“I don’t want to go home. He might be there.” She speaks quietly, and his light up with slight anger. It’s barely visible, but she can still see it. He shakes his head, and continues cleaning her face some more. Her hand falls down from his when he starts moving and she lets out a sight.

“No. You’re not going back there. You’ll stay here with me.” She is about to protest at his offer, but he won’t have it. “I have another bedroom. We can go get your stuff tomorrow, but you’re not living there.” She nods. She doesn’t want that either. Going back there… How could she do that after everything that happened. After countless days wondering when Cooper would come home, when he was in fact living another place.

“Okay.” She agrees. He feels Oliver’s strong arms wrap around her and lift her up. Her body feels so tired and painful, but when she feels the warmth of Oliver’s touch on her it makes everything better. He makes it all better. He walks them into a room which she guesses is actually his, because of the open closets with countless suits in them. He sets her down on the bed.

“Here, let me get you some clean clothes you can sleep in.” He pulls out neatly folded clothes out of some organized drawers, and he hands her some gray sweatpants and some hoodies and t-shirts. “Whatever you need.” She sits up in the bed, and she feels how sore her entire body is, and how dizzy her head feels when she sits up. She must have a concussion or something, because she immediately lays down on the bed again before she faints.

“Uh, I’m so dizzy… Could you… uh, help me? My head is hurting like shit, and I think if I stand up I’m going to faint.” She looks up at him with big eyes, noticing the way his eyes light up in a way. He immediately opens his mouth, only to close it again. When he finally speaks, she is sure her face must be crimson red by now.

“Yeah. Sure, yeah.” He mutters and steps towards her, his face focused on her body. He carefully unbuttons her pants and slide them down her body. The way it feels is… indescribable. He doesn’t yank them off. No, he takes his time sliding down the tight pants from her legs, his hands trailing down with them, leaving a shiver down her spine from the warmth and electricity from his hands. Once they are off, he looks at her. His face isn’t embarrassed at all, not in the way he sounded before taking them off. No, his face is stern, looking at her with intense eyes, before grabbing her sweater and tugging it off. She hears him letting out a breath when he looks into her eyes once again. She is only in her underwear by now, and even though she probably wasn’t going to notice, she sees his eyes scanning her body subtly. His eyes stop at the numerous dark bruises on her body from Cooper’s assault earlier. He looks her in the eyes before he grabs the sweatpants and gently puts them on her. He grabs the hoodie, but he doesn’t put them on her.

“Oh god…” He mutters in concern as he once again looks at her bruises covering her body. He gently puts his hands on some of them. She winces, but it’s not because of the pain. It’s because of the electricity in his touch, the way it makes her crave more of his touch. “He’ll never touch you again, okay? I’ll make sure that no one does again, whatever it takes.” He pulls the hoodie over her head.

“Oliver, why are you saying all of this?” She whispers. He is saying all of these things that she can’t decide what to think of.

“Because you’re the only one who has seen me.” She frowns in confusion at his words. “While everyone else is repelled by my truth, you’re not. I feel like you’re the closest friend I have.” He looks down at his hands, clearly shy about his words. He stands up, and he looks down at the floor. “I’ll leave so you can sleep.” He mutters.

“No please stay.” She tells him, his eyes shooting up at hers. “I don’t know why, but all of the pain I have goes away when you’re near. Please, I don’t think I will be able to sleep alone.” He nods and walks over to the bed, laying down beside her. His eyes focus on the roof, his arms resting behind his head.

“I feel the same way.” He mutters after some time. At first she doesn’t know what to think of it, but then she realizes what he means. She takes away his pain. Maybe it’s the pain from losing his family, and maybe she is somehow helping him. She doesn’t know if that is the truth, but if that is the case it’s exactly how she feels too. This rude man is somehow able to make her forget about everything bad that has happened to her.

“It’s weird how you have become my best friend over almost three weeks, and yet I don’t know that much about you.” He smiles, looking over at her.

“Well, I have the same situation.” He chuckles. “So let’s do something about that right now.” He props himself to the side, one of his arms supporting his head.

“So, what do you want to know?” She asks, turning over to her side so that she is facing him.

“What’s your guilty pleasure?” He asks. She frowns slightly, not expecting that to be his question.

“Guilty pleasure?” She thinks for a while. “Huh, oh I know. One Direction.” She blushes slightly, no one knows that she secretly loves the band.

“One Direction?” His voice is mocking, and his smile is the same. “Well, I guess that isn’t the worst you could have.” He laughs a bit. “They can sing, I’ll give them that.”

“What about yours?” She watches as his face changes. It’s his thinking face.

“I’m not sure actually.” He mutters, thinking a bit. “Maybe the Harry Potter movies or something. I really like those, like even better than the books.” She frowns.

“Better than the books?” She questions.

“Yeah, I didn’t care much for the books actually.” She gives him a shocked look.

“Okay, when’s your birthday, then?” He asks. They start chatting about the basic information about them, and several hours passes. As the time goes, she finds herself scooting closer to Oliver, and him scooting closer to her. Soon enough she closes her eyes, her head resting on his chest as she falls into a deep sleep.

 

_Oliver_

_2 weeks later_

_Her hand is holding his arm gently as he holds the gun with shaky hands. Her warm hand sends shocks through him, and her thumb is gently stroking on his bare bicep. He feels his breath stutter as he stares at the lifeless body in front of him. She is humming beside him, her tone is slightly off, not sounding like her at all. Both of his hands are clutching the gun, one of his fingers dancing around the trigger._

_“Pull the trigger, Oliver.” Her seductive voice sends thrills down his spine. He looks at the body in front of him with big eyes, eyes that can’t seem to blink because of the fear inside of him. “Do it.” She commands, her voice raising slightly._

_“No, I can’t. I don’t know who it is.” He breathes out shakily, a drop of sweat falling down the side of his face. Fuck._

_“Yes you do. How could you not? Look at the hair, Oliver. The familiar hair. You know exactly who it is. Now, pull the trigger.” He moves his gaze towards her voice. Felicity is looking at him with a sly smirk. She doesn’t even resemble herself. This isn’t the sweet and innocent girl he knows. The girl that knows him better than anyone else in this world. No, this is another person entirely. She has her looks, yes, but she doesn’t resemble her at all._

_He looks over at the body in front of him, recognizing who it is immediately. Her face appears finally, sleeping soundly at the floor. Lucy. No, this couldn’t be happening. Could it?_

_“Felicity what are you doing?” He asks, looking over at Felicity who is still eyeing him, refusing to look at Lucy._

_“I’m telling you to fucking shoot her.” She snaps at him. This isn’t her. It can’t be. Her voice is somehow husky, and seductive in a way. He’d been dreaming about hearing her voice like that for weeks, but now it only frightens him._

_“This isn’t you Felicity.” His voice is still shaky, and she lets out a devilish laugh._

_“No, how could this be me? Sweet, innocent and quiet little Felicity would never ask you to do this, now would she?” She laughs again. “Think about it, Oliver. I’m not supposed to_ be _Felicity. I’m only supposed to look like her.” He doesn’t understand._

_“I don’t get it. Why do you look like her?” She laughs mockingly._

_“You’re so stupid, aren’t you? Think about it then. I’m not her, I’m a possibility, an opportunity. Why would a possibility ask you to shoot her?” She points at Lucy. He shakes his head. No, no he’s not going to do it._

_“Do it. The only way you’ll have her is if you do it. Kill her, forget about her. You don’t need her anymore, Oliver. She’s gone. Faded into nothing. Soon she’ll only be an old, sour memory. All she’ll ever bring you now Oliver, is pain and suffering. Do it for the happiness. Do it for me, Oliver.” The last thing he hears is her sly laugh, and he growls with tears running down his face. Slowly he pulls the trigger and a loud bang is heard._

He jolts awake with a frightened yell escaping his mouth, his eyes shooting up. His t-shirt is completely drenched in sweat. Her arm is slung across his waist, and her eyes squint open. She’s been sleeping beside him like this, every night for the last two weeks. The sky is still dark, and the clock shows it’s only been two hours since they went to bed.

“Oliver?” She mumbles, her arms unwrapping from his chest to rub her eyes.

“Fuck.” He breathes out, his breaths coming out in pants.

“Are you alright?” She asks, her hand coming up to his chest, rubbing it soothingly. Somehow he is both calmed and stressed out by her actions. His dream has made him panic.

“No… Fuck, I don’t know if I can do this.” He jolts out of the bed and paces around in the room.

“Do what?” She asks. She is fully awake at this point, staring at him with concerned eyes.

“I don’t know… This?” He points back and forth between them. “I just had a dream about it… I feel so guilty.” He can feel tears pressing on his eyes. Fuck, if this were someone else he would never tell her about any of it. But this was Felicity. He felt both strangely good and guilty about that.

“Tell me.” She says, her eyes never leaving his.

“I… I dreamt that you were forcing me to shoot her. Lucy…” He feels a tear escaping his eye.

“Oh…” She has a range of emotions running through her face as his words hit her. He doesn’t know how to read them all.

“I know that would never happen, but I think it was my subconscious telling me that I have to let her go… for this…” He makes the same gesture with his hand as before, and she looks overwhelmed by some emotion.

“I… I don’t know how to respond to that.” She answers. He feels himself losing control over his actions.

“How would you fucking know?” He yells at her, his voice raising drastically. The loudness of it startles her. Her mouth hangs open in both shock and hurt. “You’ve never lost the person you loved most in this world, the person you were supposed to protect and love the rest of your life! How do you think I feel? I can still hear her voice in my head, and I can still remember how she smelled and how she laughed, and how she cried of happiness when she told me we were going to have a baby. Then she fucking dies. She fucking dies! She leaves me, and I don’t know how to feel or how to act. I don’t fucking know how to go on with my life! I’ve fucked so many girls over the last few years that I’ve even lost count of all of them, but none of them have meant anything. Now you come along, and suddenly I feel like every time I’m near you I have to forget about her!” His voice starts to fail as he yells. He coughs and yells out as the tears fall on his face. Her face is riddled with terror, but soon she gets out of the bed and strolls over to him and wraps her arms around him.

“No, Oliver. I don’t want you to forget her. Not ever.” He wraps his arms around her too, and lets his face bury in her shoulder, letting the emotions of losing her finally wash over him. He cries, he fucking cries for a fucking long time. When she finally pulls back, his eyes are red and his head hangs as he stands there. She wraps her fingers in the hem of his t-shirt and lifts it up over his head. She tosses the sweat-stained t-shirt on the floor and guides him back to the bed.

“Sleep Oliver. I’m here.” She whispers, her voice calming him down. “Just remember that she loved you. That means she would want you to be happy, no matter what you do. You should do whatever makes you happy, Oliver.” She whispers to him as she pulls the duvet over him. He falls asleep with his head on top of her chest, her gentle hands stroking his hair soothingly as he drifts off into a deep sleep.

 

_Felicity_

The next few days turned out to be quiet. Oliver didn’t say much, and she didn’t either. After he broke down that night she let him fall asleep and then finally went into her guest bedroom where she was originally supposed to stay. He didn’t say much the next day, only muttering a goodbye when they parted at work. She didn’t see him for lunch that day, because he never asked her to his office. She decided to eat in her office and get some work done. Then the next few days weren’t so much different.

When she comes home after work this Friday, she notices that Oliver has yet again left a note that he went out to train for a while. The whole apartment is so big and quiet. She’d been alone in here before, but now it just seemed so lonely. She had barely talked to him in so many days. She makes herself some spaghetti and eats it in silence. The rest of the food is saved on a plate to Oliver, not because she usually does that, but because of kindness. Perhaps he’d appreciate it. They aren’t mad at each other, but the silence is a reaction to his breakdown that night. She decides to just stay in this Friday and tells the gang that she wants to meet up on Saturday. They all agree to that, and she wishes that Oliver was here to comment on how her friends were all geeks. It’s getting really late when she hears a familiar sound that she hasn’t heard in weeks. Footsteps and wind from an open window fills her ears, and she looks up to a dark figure standing in the middle of the huge room.

“I haven’t seen you in so long.” She tells him, and he nods to her words. He steps closer to her, and she stands up from where she was sitting on the couch.

“Been trying to figure out where you relocated to.” He mutters, his dark face lighting slightly up by the lamp next to the couch. She can see his stern look, the light barely giving her enough to see his expression.

“Yeah, I had to move out of there after a whole mess with Cooper.” She sees his eyes lighting up and finding hers.

“Are you okay? Did he hurt you?” His voice is concerned, his eyes raking over her still slightly bruised face.

“We broke up, and he didn’t take it very well. I’m fine, I got taken care of.” He nods taking a step closer to her. They’re standing very close by now, his hood nearly touching her head.

“I’ve missed you.” He tells her in a softer voice than what she is used to hearing from him.  
“I’m right here now.” She tells him back, her face smiling up at him.

“Yeah, I’m really glad you are. I’ve been longing to talk to you for weeks now.” He brings his gloved hand up to her cheek and gently rubs his thumb soothingly over it. Even with his gloves on she loves the way his hand feels on her face.

“I’ve missed you too.” She says, not lying at all. In truth, somehow she has missed his presence near her. All her common sense seems to be disappearing whenever he is near, but even with so few encounters, she still misses him at times.

“I’ve gone far too long without seeing your beautiful face and hearing your amazing voice. I don’t know what you do to me, Felicity, but I don’t want it to stop.” He brings his face towards her, his forehead touching hers. She can feel his skin, and it feels amazing. The warmth of him sends familiar electricity through her body. “I need you Felicity.” He whispers and closes the distance between them. When their lips meet, it’s like fireworks. She feels herself being taken over by the electricity surrounding them. Their lips move together for what seems like an eternity, and she never wants it to stop. Her hands wrap around his clothed neck, whishing that she could take them off and feel his bare neck.

“Felicity.” He grunts against her mouth, his tongue finding its way into her mouth. She kisses him for a long time, fantasizing about all the things he said. How he’d said it, and how she wished the circumstances could have been. He breaks the kiss, breathing out in heavy pants.

“Felicity you’re perfect.” He breathes out. “I promise to tell you every time I see you, how beautiful and perfect you are in every way. I promise you that I’ll do everything in my power to make you happy.” He whispers to her. His words shock her a bit, but in this blissful state she doesn’t care much. “I wish I could kiss you all the time, and I wish I could take it further, but right now I think I should go.” He smiles at her, kissing her softly on the lips before looking her in the eyes and giving her the warmest smile she has ever seen, even with half of his face covered up. In a heartbeat he is gone, jumping out one of the windows with an arrow flying through the air. She doesn’t look where he disappears, she is stuck in the same place, unable to move. It feels like she is in this state forever, and finally she is able to move and sit down on the couch again. Only when she hears the door open maybe two hours later does her action truly take a toll on her. Oliver stumbles through the door, his face finding hers, and she sees his bruised face. His eye is black and several cuts has appeared on the same side. His whole body is staggering through the living room.

“Oliver?” She asks, her eyes finding his. He looks down at her, and when he reaches the couch he flops down on it.

“Hey, Lis.” He murmurs. She cringes at the nickname, and she can smell the alcohol on his breath. He’s been drinking, and fighting too apparently.

“Uh, hey Oliver. Have you been drinking?” She asks him even though the answer is apparent.

“Yeah, I was training and one of the guys wanted to test me if I was any good. He was better, and afterwards it all just hurt so much and all I could think about was either talking about it to you or drink.” He slurs with the words and his breath oozes with alcohol. She tries to ignore how it doesn’t exactly repel her.

“Okay.” She answers. “Maybe you should go to bed…”

“No! Let’s just talk for a while. We hardly ever talk anymore…” His word is true, and his eyes tell her it’s eating him up inside.

“Yeah, well…” She doesn’t know how to respond.

“It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have snapped at you like that.” He starts, rubbing his temples with his fingers, and his eyes closes.

“I think it was both of us.” She answers.

“Yeah. I’m sorry about that. I just never really realized how close we had gotten until I had that dream.” He doesn’t really seem to be aware of the things he is saying. Something tells her that he won’t remember this tomorrow, and that he would never tell her if he didn’t have so much alcohol in his system. “I kinda freaked out, you know. It’s not like I don’t like you, I do, but I’ll never be able to have a relationship with you or anything. I know you wouldn’t want the other option which excludes the relationship part and I didn’t want to trick you into something like that.” He looks her in the eyes, this time they are sincere. “I’ll never be the man you need me to be Felicity. I’ll never be better than Cooper, and I won’t give you what you need. I know you want a stable relationship, because how could you not? But I will never get married again. I’ll never have another child. I don’t want you to give that up, ever. So don’t do it for me, okay?” Somehow his words changes everything. He doesn’t seem to be that controlled by the alcohol anymore. His words are sincere. It breaks her heart somehow, that he utters those words to her. She didn’t know she had them, but somehow it crushes every hope she ever had for him.

“Don’t say that, Oliver. I’m not saying it has to be with me, but don’t give up on marriage and children.” She says softly and hopefully.

“No. Lucy and our child will be the only wife and child I will ever have. It’s just the way it is, Felicity. I don’t know how I would get married, or even get into another relationship when I can’t let her go. It wouldn’t be fair to the person I was in a relationship with. I could never love someone the way I loved her. Fuck, I still do. I still love her.” His words leave this hole inside her. She doesn’t feel like crying. She doesn’t feel anything.  
“I… Uh I think I’ll go to bed.” She whispers and stands up, walking towards her bedroom, she hears him calling out her name.

“Felicity?” His voice is so vulnerable, and so heartbreaking at the same time.

“Yeah?” Her voice sounds so tired, and maybe that is because she feels so tired. So tired of everything.

“I’m sorry.”


	8. Where do broken hearts go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: explict content in this chapter.

Chapter 8

_Where Do Broken Hearts Go - One Direction_

 

_Felicity_

_(3 weeks from now)_

Oh, how she wishes she’d have said it back. Those three words, she’d never thought she would ever hear them from him, but he still said it. He’d convinced her that he would never love again, but she’d suspected he’d developed some feelings towards her over the last two weeks. However, love? It proved that all of the things he’d told her the night he was drunk and felt guilty about their closeness was all wrong. It was just thoughts, not truths. She wonders if he knew that when he said it. However, he just told her he wants to be with her and that he loves her. Just like that she knew she felt the same way. Every single doubt she ever had about them disappeared into smoke. She loves him. She really does.

Oh, how she wishes she’d have said it back.

 

 

_(Present day)_

It was like everything between them just got worse. Oliver didn’t really talk at all, but she knew he wasn’t mad at her. No, it was just embarrassment, or he wanted her to have the distance she needed. She knows that beneath there somewhere is a guy that is deeply caring. Perhaps losing everything just coated that part with his rude behavior. Either way, he’d made it clear that he wasn’t changing any time soon. It was a hard decision that she sat with the previous evening, but she decided to pack up her things. It was clear that Oliver struggled with her presence near him. So, she packs up her things a week later after they last spoke, when Oliver is sleeping, leaves him a note and takes a taxi over to Barry’s.

 

_Oliver_

He wakes up with a throbbing feeling in his head. Seems like these days he gets drunk every chance he gets. Whatever floats your boat really is a fucking stupid saying. It’s what he’s doing right now, and it doesn’t make the boat float at all. All it does is sink it straight to the fucking bottom of the ocean.

As he gets up he feels the hangover for real. It hurts, but nothing really hurts anymore. Not compared to what he felt a week ago. Not like that. Never.

He exits his room in just his boxers, forgetting that he in fact has another person living here with him. Whatever, Felicity usually spends her time inside the guest room. That part is his fault. His breakdown made her silent, and he doesn’t have the balls to apologize to her. even though he’s been feeling so guilty about not doing just that.

When he looks around in the apartment, he doesn’t see any traces left of her. Her gray hoodie that she loves so much doesn’t hang on the side of the sofa like it always does. Her glass of water that she always forgets on the counter before going to bed isn’t there. What the fuck? He jogs over to her room, opening the door and peeking inside. There isn’t a trace after her. The bed is neatly made up and the room looks spotless. Oh no. He runs back into the kitchen, his mind going through a million different scenarios that has occurred. Has she been kidnapped? Oh god, no please no. Fuck.

He spots a folded paper on the dining table and quickly moves towards it. It’s a note, and on it says ‘ _Oliver_ ’ with neat handwritten letters. He opens the note and reads it.

_Oliver_

_I decided to move out of your apartment. Thank you so much for letting me stay here and for taking care of me after Cooper. It means more than you will ever know. I left your key where you usually put your spare keys._

_You need to know that I didn’t move out of here because I’m mad at you, I just think we need a little space right now. You need to start taking care of yourself too, Oliver._

_I hope to see you again sometime._

_-Felicity_

What the fuck? Shit, he thought he wanted space too, but now it really just fucking sucks. He hates this, hate having her presence gone from his apartment. And just like that, his own words become complete lies.

_“I could never love someone the way I loved her.”_

Fuck. He already does. Doesn’t he? It only takes losing her to realize he actually don’t want to be apart from her. It’s almost been two months, and here he is thinking about those things. Fuck, he can’t think straight right now. All he knows is that somewhere in his mind, Lucy is telling him to let his guilt go. He can’t waste away his life. He can’t continue sleeping with every girl just to avoid the reality, and he can’t continue pushing Felicity away.

He sprints into his room and puts on some clothes before grabbing his coat and his keys. He wastes no time, and gets out of his apartment building as fast as he can. The hangover he felt is mostly gone, in some miraculous way. He doesn’t take the risk of driving the car after drinking last night, he’s had enough car accidents in his life. He takes a taxi and tells him to take him to the first address he can think of. Barry Allen.

It takes him ten minutes to reach his apartment, and he bashes on the door as hard as he can. The door almost cracks, and a furious Barry opens the door.

“Dude…” He starts, but Oliver soon interrupts him.

“Is Felicity here?” He asks, his breath coming out in heavy pants. Barry frowns, and takes in his appearance.

“No, she was here maybe an hour ago. She asked if she could stay here, and of course I would have said yes if it wasn’t for the fact that Iris had a water leakage in her apartment and asked if she could stay here. I don’t have that much room here…”  
“Barry! Fucking Christ, tell me where she is then.” He snaps.

“Jesus, she’s staying with Ray.” His blood boils with the thought. Fucking hell. “Man, what the hell did you even do to her? I swear if you screwed her over like you always do to every other girl…”

“No. Barry I didn’t do that… I did something worse. I kinda snapped at her, and told her I’d never love someone again. I think I crushed her heart slightly… I don’t know. I was drunk, and I didn’t mean it. Not at all. I know that now.” He watches as Barry frowns at him. His face doesn’t look mad, it looks like it’s trying to figure something out.

“So, are you saying… You love her?” The words that escapes Barry’s mouth has his heart beating really fast. Does he? Well, he can’t fucking say he doesn’t. That much he is sure of at this point. He cares for her.

“I… I don’t know. I know I care for her, man. Please, I need to tell her that.” His voice sounds so fucking pathetic. However, right now, he doesn’t fucking care. “Give me his address.”

“So you can beat him up? I know what you did to Cooper. No, give her some time. We’re meeting up at the karaoke bar later, you could come then.” He nods as Barry talks, and he’s turning his back and starts walking when Barry calls out his name again.

“And Oliver?” He turns his head and looks at the boy. “Don’t hurt her, yeah?” He nods again, and continues walking. As he walks he thinks of something. He pulls out his phone and dials Tommy’s number.

“Hey, buddy I need you to do something with me.”

 

_Felicity_

 

The crowded bar is starting to get even more crowded as time seems to go by. She keeps wondering why, and if she missed some event going down here. She also notices the way Barry keeps looking over his shoulder for someone. Ray stays by her side at all times, and although she finds that odd she can’t really say anything about it. He had been kind enough to let her stay at his apartment. Ray was really smart and hard-working, which was why he also had a pretty fancy apartment. It wasn’t as big and fancy as Oliver’s, but she’s not going to complain.

She suddenly hears music tearing up in the sound speakers. She barely recognizes the melody of the song, somewhere she has heard it…

 _”Counted all my mistakes and there’s only one…”_ She tenses up as she hears the song, and the familiar voice singing it.

 _“Standing out from the list of the things I’ve done…”_ She looks towards where the music is coming from. The whole crowd of people has gathered around the small stage at the other end of the bar.

_“All the rest of my crimes don’t come close_

_To the look on your face when I let you go”_

She desperately tries to push past the crowd of people, muttering apologies as she bumps through the mass of people. Finally, she makes it to the stage, and she sees exactly who she expected. Oliver is standing on the stage, the microphone in his hands. He is wearing a leather jacket with a plain white t-shirt underneath. He catches her eyes and smiles as Tommy continues the rest of the verse.

_“So I built you a house from a broken home_

_And I wrote you a song with the words you spoke_

_Yeah, it took me some time, but I figured out”_

Oliver’s smirk makes chills go down her spine. His eyes stay focused hers as he and Tommy sing in unison.

_“How to fix up a heart that I let down”_

She can’t help the smile that breaks onto her face. This isn’t like Oliver. He would never sing in public, and he would _definitely_ not sing One Direction in public. If in any places at all. His surprisingly good voice continues with the chorus.

_“Now I'm searching every lonely place_

_Every corner calling out your name_

_Tryna find you, but I just don't know_

_Where do broken hearts go?_

_Where do broken hearts go?”_

Just as Tommy continues, Oliver takes off his leather jacket, exposing the crowd to his bare arms. The biceps are so massive, and his right arm is covered in black ink. The tattoo is a beautiful pattern that she can’t really describe. She can’t believe she didn’t notice it when she took off his t-shirt the night he had the nightmare.

The t-shirt he is wearing is really… tight, and she (and probably every one else in the crowd) can clearly see his defined muscles. To her surprise, he is actually dancing a lot to the song. He actually looks like he is having fun. Eventually the song ends, and the crowd is screaming like crazy. She notices how the majority of the crowd is girls, and fights the feeling of anger that bubbles up in her. Once he is finished, the crowd is screaming for more, but Oliver just shakes his head, grabs his jacket, turns his eyes towards her and jumps down from the stage. He takes her hand in his and guides her out of the crowd. Tommy, however, seems like he is just getting started. He winks seductively at a few girls in the crowd, which only seems to make them even worse.

Oliver finally drags her far enough away from the music to actually look at her. He is smiling shyly at her, beads of sweat covering his forehead.

“Hi.” She awkwardly says, and he chuckles.

“Hey.” He says. She is surprised by his sudden change in mood. They haven’t talked in a long time, but here he is smiling at her and singing songs from one of her favorite bands.

“I can’t believe you did that.” She giggles, and he smiles widely at her.

“Well…” He chuckles. His face turns a bit more serious after the laughter shakes off, and his eyes looks into hers. “I’m really sorry for what I said.” He mutters, his eyes sad.

“It’s okay… I understand Oliver.” He nods and smiles slightly.

“I…” He starts, but a large figure appears behind him, and he turns around with a frown on his face.  
“Felicity, I was wondering when you wanted to go home?” Ray was smiling at her, and she could tell he was trying his hardest to ignore Oliver’s harsh stare. Oliver clenched his jaw before looking back down at her.

“You could come back to my apartment, Felicity. I have enough space.” Oliver looks at her with his eyebrows raised, his bottom lip disappearing into his mouth.

“Dude, don’t worry. I have enough space for Felicity. She can come back with me.” Ray chimes in, and Oliver sends him a death glare. Clearly he wants her to come back to his apartment. She can’t deny that she also wants that.

“Let her choose, _dude._ ” Oliver spits, his eyes darting to Ray. His whole body tenses up, but Ray seems totally unaffected by Oliver’s behavior.

“No, why would you go back with him? He’s the one that made you move in to my place.” Ray has a frown on his face now, looking at her with a confused look. “I’m sorry if I’m being pushy here, but I’m worried for you Felicity.” His words seem sincere. Ray is a good friend, he is always there if she needs him. He’s never said anything wrong to her, and even though she is sensing some jealousy from Oliver she doesn’t own a single romantic feeling towards Ray. He’s been there since her MIT days, and he’s like a brother to her.

“I… I think I’ll just go with Ray. All my stuff is there anyways.” Oliver’s disappointed and hurt look almost makes her tell Ray she doesn’t want to go home with him, but she knows she made the right decision. Right now, she doesn’t need any romance or something similar to that. Right now she just needs a friend like Ray. “I’ll see you at Monday, yeah?” She smiles at him, his look finally softening and he nods with a slight smile.

“Yeah, I’ll see you.” He mutters softly. He smiles at her when he’s leaving, but not before he sends another death glare to Ray. Once he is out of reach, Ray looks at her with big eyes.

“Wow, he was really a douche.” He lets out an overdramatic sigh, and rolls his eyes. She feels herself going in to defend him, even though Ray does speak some truth.

“Don’t say that. I know he can be kinda… intense, but he’s been through a lot. It’s just a defense mechanism.” Ray frowns slightly as they start walking out of the bar.

“Really? I don’t know, we all go through a lot. Doesn’t excuse that behavior. I mean, he did drive you to move out of his home. He didn’t even know about it until you left him a note. I don’t trust the guy.” He thought for a while. “And he’s your boss.” He added. Ray was talking a bit much negative about Oliver for her liking.

“Just… Don’t talk about him anymore Ray.” She said as the entered his car. They drove back in silence. The way he talked about Oliver really bothered her. He was kinda harsh.

They make their way up to the apartment with even more silence. She can’t wait until she’s wrapped up in her bed and can sleep. All she wants to do is avoid talking to Ray and just go to sleep.

“Felicity?” Just as she is about to enter her room, Ray calls for her. He’s stepping towards her, his eyes focused on hers. This was so weird somehow. “I just have to do one thing…” He whispers as he puts his hands on her face and leans in. She manages to push him away by his chest before he can do anything, and he stumbles backwards. He looks up at her in shock.

“What the hell Ray?” She looks at him in confusion.

“I’m… Sorry, I just thought you wanted that… Since you said you wanted to go home with me.” He rubs the back of his head, like Oliver usually do when he’s stressed out. It doesn’t look nearly as good on Ray as it does on Oliver.

“Yeah, because I kinda am living here at the moment! You thought I wanted to _go home_ with you?” She raises her voice slightly. “We’re friends Ray! That’s all we’ve ever been!” She yells.

“Yeah, well maybe we should be more!” He yells back.

“What?” She breathes out.

“You seriously haven’t noticed that I’ve been in love with you these past six years? At first I was just shy and didn’t know how to ask you out, but then Cooper came along and you started dating him.” His words send a whole new perspective of their history. “I kept waiting for you and Coop to break up, since he was obviously not taking it as seriously as he should have at that point, but you never did. Five years went on and then you finally ended it, but then I heard you moved in with Oliver and I got worried you’d slipped from my hands again.” He looks so… She doesn’t know how to describe it, but it’s like their entire friendship just changed drastically.

“Ray, I’m sorry. I just don’t feel that way about you. I don’t know, I just feel like we’re kinda like brother and sister.” His eyes light up with something that resembles anger. She’s not quite sure.

“Get out.” He whispers. She barely hears him.

“What?” She breathes out, and he turns away from her.

“I said get out!” He yells. His tone changes so drastically that it makes her frightened. She disappears into her room and packs up all of her things again before hurrying out of his apartment, not shooting him another look.

 

_Oliver_

Fucking Ray. He was about to tell her that he didn’t mean those words, and then fucking Ray had shown up. The entire plan was to sing to her and then tell him how sorry he was and that he didn’t mean it. Then of course the biggest part of it had to be ruined. She’d gone home with Ray. That freakishly tall and creepy dude. He doesn’t like him, especially the way he acted towards him tonight. The thought of Felicity choosing to go home to his place made him angry. So angry he almost punched a hole through his own wall. He didn’t though, he thinks that might be a process.

He paces back and forward in his own living room. He must have some feelings towards her. Why else would he be this mad about it? You can say a lot of shitty things about him, but he’s not that stupid. He knows something is going on inside him. Somehow all he can think about lately is how good it felt to sleep beside her with his arms around her, and how good her kiss was the night they first went out with his friends. Fuck, he’s getting all smitten, isn’t he?

A soft knock on the door sends him out of his own thoughts. He walks over to the door and opens it. A teary-eyed Felicity is standing there with her bag behind her. All he wants to do is find out why her eyes are filled with tears. Fuck, he’s starting to panic for not knowing. Her emotions shouldn’t affect him this much.

“Felicity? What’s wrong?” She lets out a sob and takes a step forward and wraps her arms around him. It feels wrongly right to have his arms around her as she swings them back and forth.

“Ray kicked me out.” She whispers. Fuck, he knew it. Son of a bitch. He fights the anger building up inside him and focuses on her instead.

“Why?” He asks simply.

“He tried to kiss me.” His body stills and tenses up. She notices and looks up at him. “Don’t worry, I was able to avoid it. He got really mad when I told him I don’t see him as anything else than a friend.” She unwraps her arms from his body and he misses her already. Fuck, she’s standing right in front of him?

“I knew he liked you.” He says through gritted teeth.

“How?” She asks, looking up at him with teary eyes.

“I could see it in the way he looked at you.” She frowns, and he wonders why.

“Iris told me she saw you looking at me like that.” He stiffens. Fuck. “But that turned out to be wrong. I guess I’m not that good at spotting these things, huh.” He gestures for her to come inside. She does, and brings her bag with her. He immediately takes it and carries it to her room.

“Oh, you don’t have to… I haven’t even asked.” She begins.

“No, you’re staying here. You’re not to move out again. Okay? I need you here, so you’re safe and so no one else will try something on you again.” He can feel her gaze at him. When he returns she is still looking at him.

“It wasn’t wrong though…” He mutters, and she frowns slightly in confusion.

“What do you mean?” She asks, her eyes big.

“What Iris said…” He begins and her eyes widens.

“You mean…?” He nods and walks over to her, cupping her face in his hands. His lips brushes hers, fuck he’s been needing this for so long. He can feel her smiling, and soon enough he presses his lips to hers. It’s a much softer and passionate kiss than last time, when it was only rushed. He takes his time this time, feeling the way her soft lips feel against his. He wraps his hands around her waist, and she brings hers into his hair. Fuck, it feels so amazing to kiss her again. Their lips part and both of them are breathing heavily.

“Oliver…” She whispers, bringing her hand to his face and brushes her thumb against his lips.

“I’ve longed for that ever since you kissed me the last time.” He whispers, his lips still slightly brushing against hers.

“Me too.” She whispers back and laughs softly. He follows with a soft laughter, and presses his lips to hers harder this time. She responds immediately, moaning into his mouth. He can feel her hands fiddling into his white t-shirt, and he breaks the kiss as she pulls up his t-shirt.

“Fuck.” She breathes as she takes in his appearance. He smirks at her, and she begins trailing her fingers against the tattoo pattern on his bicep.

“You like it?” He asks her, and she nods. “I’ve got a lot more.” He whispers to her and her eyes go big with curiousness. “You wanna see?” He asks and she nods. He turns around, and he hears her grasp. His back is covered in the same pattern. He decided to mark his body one day, and it all escalated from there.

“It’s so beautiful.” She says and traces the patterns on his back. He takes in a sharp breath, and fuck, it feels amazing when she touches him.

“So are you.” He turns back to her, and she grabs his face and brings his lips to hers. It’s a strong move, making him stumble slightly. She breaks the kiss and pulls her top over her head. Fuck. She’s standing in her bra now, and she’s so fucking sexy and beautiful.

“Fuck, you don’t know how beautiful you are Felicity.” He whispers and hoists her up so that she’s straddling him. She moans at the move, and brings her lips back to his. “Are you sure you… Do you wanna…?” He doesn’t know how to ask, but he doesn’t want to assume anything.

“Fuck yes.” She answers, and his whole body ignites with fire. He kisses her furiously and guiles her back to his bedroom. He lays her on his bed and he follows right after, climbing onto her body and she grabs his head right after.

“I… I wanna do something…” He whispers against her lips. She laughs and kisses him on his lips softly a few times.

“What?” She asks, curiosity in her eyes.

“I wanna taste you. I want this to be about you, before we go any further.” He whispers and her breath catches in her throat. He kisses the spot between her jaw and her neck.

“Oliver… yes, please.” She moans and he lowers his body, kissing trails down her chest and stomach before tugging her jeans off. When she is left in only her underwear he curses to himself. How has he not realized how much he’s needed her before now? He kisses her clothed center, and he hears her take a sharp intake of breath. He tugs down her underwear and licks a stripe. She moans at the contact. The way her body reacts to him has him completely focused on her. He licks her and kisses her until her body shakes and she calls out his name. He kisses her on her lips after, smirking at her.

“Fuck you taste good.” He says and she blushes.

He falls asleep with his arms around her body once again.


	9. No control

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: explict content at the beginning of the chapter.

Chapter 9

_No Control - One Direction_

_Felicity_

She wakes up with the most amazing feeling in the world. Not only because Oliver has his strong arms around her waist, tugging her closely to him while his steady sleeping breath tickles her neck, but because she remembers the events the night before. She can still feel the tingle in her stomach of the sensation he made her feel. She looks down at him, his face so beautiful and cute when it sleeps. She can feel how his body is pressed against her, and one thing comes to her mind. She didn’t get to return the favor last night. It’s not like she has a problem with the fact that he wanted to pleasure her, as if he almost wanted to not take advantage of her, but she still felt the need to see his face when he experienced the same kind of pleasure. She longed for it, and she craved to hear his moans like she did the time they kissed in the bar bathroom. Slowly and carefully she reaches her hand out to his sleeping body. He doesn’t wake up when she brushes her fingers against his bare skin on his stomach. When she dips her hand in his boxers, however, his eyes shoot open. He lets out a hitched breath when she squeezes him. Wow, holy fuck he is big. Cooper couldn’t even be compared to Oliver.

“Felicity, what are you... doing-” He lets out a moan as she gently rubs his cock, and she feels him growing harder under her hand. Somehow, hearing his moans makes her feel almost just as good as he made her feel last night. Strange that it would feel so amazing to pleasure someone else like this. It sure wasn’t like this with Cooper.

“Just returning the favor.” She whispers to him in his ear, and he lets out a long groan. She can feel he is straining right now against his boxers, and he assists her with tugging down his boxers. She feels him spring free from under the covers. He closes his eyes as she continues rubbing.

“Holy fuck, you’re good at that.” He moans and bucks his hips slowly up to meet her hand. She increases her speed, earning more and more moans from him. His tip is continuously leaking as she rubs, which makes it easier for her hand to pump him.

“Fuck, Feli-“ He moans loudly, bucking up more furiously as she circles her thumb around his spongy tip. “You probably should take the covers off…” He moans and drops his head onto the pillows again. She does as he says, and when she finally gets a look at his cock her eyes go big. Holy fuck. His manhood is so… perfect. In every way. Not once has something like this turned her more on.

“Shit, you’re so big.” She whispers, earning a groan from him. She watches his face, taking in every trait on his face as she pumps him. His eyes are fixated on the sight before him, and she brings her other hand to massage his balls. Soon enough she sees his eyes roll to the back of his head, bucking his hips up before starting to release with a loud groan.  
“Felicity!” He moans as his cock spurts out white liquid all over her hand. The sight is something she won’t ever forget. He keeps shooting up come all over her hand until there is nothing left, and soon he is panting heavily with closed eyes.

“Good morning.” He sighs with a smile on his mouth. They both take a shower and eat breakfast, and she’s pleased that there is no awkwardness between them anymore.

 

“You want to come with me to train today?” Oliver’s question makes her look up at him with shocked eyes. She hasn’t really thought about going with him training before.

“Oh, I don’t know. I’m not really that athletic.” He chuckles at her answer and nods slightly.

“Well, that’s fine. I could show you some of the basics.” Oliver eats his yoghurt right after he speaks and sends her a smirk.

“Um, okay…” She answers. She can see that he is sensing her doubts about his training, so le looks her in the eyes before speaking to her.

“Hey, it’s okay. No one in there is professionals, and no one will judge you. I’ll make sure of that.” He chuckles as he takes in her still worried face. It’s not that she’s worried about making a fool of herself, it’s more the feeling of witnessing Oliver fight. Something tells her she’d rather not witness that. Hopefully she won’t.

 

There is something strange about the gym Oliver works out at. It’s not the fanciest place, she must admit. Everything looks worn out and it kinda smells like sweat in there.

“You get used to it.” Oliver chuckles as he sees her face. He is wearing black gym shorts, a grey tank top and a black cap which he is wearing with the backside at the front, some of his hair spiking out of the hole there. He looks so incredibly good. He has white sports tape all over his hands, which she does as well. He tells her it’s more comfortable like that, and she’s no expert so she won’t judge.

“Here, put these on.” He hands her two gloves. “To protect your knuckles. Believe me, it’s important if you don’t want them hurt.” He gently puts on the gloves for her, his movements so caring as he guides them on. His fingers brush her arm as he finishes putting them on. He looks her in the eyes, and the blue orbs is so incredibly irresistible.

“Careful now, Felicity.” His face is stern as he looks into her eyes. “If you keep looking at me like that I won’t be able to control myself, and we’re in my favorite gym. I quite like coming here, you know. Would be a shame if I was kicked out because they found me fucking you in the locker room.” She lets out a grasp at his words, and he grins at her. “Oh, that turns you on, doesn’t it? Good, I always had a feeling you liked those sort of things.” He smiles slyly at her and brings his lips to her neck.

“If I catch anyone staring at you in these shorts out there, I don’t know what I will do.” He mumbles against her neck, placing his big hands on either side of her waist.  
“It will be okay, Oliver. I don’t want anyone of them.” He let out a low throaty moan and kisses her sweet spot before bringing his lips to her ear. “I want to fuck you when we return home.” She feels warmth spreading through her stomach as his words leaves his mouth.

“Yes.” She breathes out and he makes an extremely sexy sound. His grip on her waist tightens before he lets her go and stares at her with wild eyes.

“Let’s go train, yeah?” His mouth trails up in a smirk and he chuckles as he takes her arm and guides her out of the old locker room. The training area is really large, with a boxing ring in the middle.

“Why do you go to this place? I mean, you can afford something much nicer than this.” She hears him let out a short laugh through his nose before he stops by a punching bag.

“It’s a good place. Me and my buddy Roy met here a few years back, before I got into money. It was all I could afford, and well, me and Roy became buddies here.” He looks over the area with a small smile.

“You haven’t been rich all your life?” Her question makes him look up at her.

“No.” He answers, fiddling with his gloves. “My dad and I had a falling out when I told him I didn’t want to take over the company. He didn’t give me any of his money so I had to work for myself to provide for my own family. Although she was better at that, really. I usually just trained and fought, earning a few bucks from fighting matches.” She looks down at the floor when he speaks. “I wasn’t solely dependent on that though, it didn’t earn me much. My mom transferred some money to me every once in a while, insignificant numbers that my dad wouldn’t notice. When he asked where I got the money, I always told him the fighting paid off, but in reality it didn’t.” He keeps looking down at his hands. “He was always too fucking blind to realize anything. Like the fact that your own dreams are not your children’s.” He lets out an angry breath and punches the bag hard. “Fucking hell, let’s not talk about my past right now. Okay, so here’s some basic moves.” He shows her some of the basic moves and to her surprise, it feels better than it should. On some part, she needs this if something like the incident with Cooper ever happens again.

It’s almost been an hour when they hear someone entering the gym. Both of them are really sweaty, and she’s sure that Oliver has never looked so good. Well, except for this morning.

“Oliver, what a nice surprise.” A man’s voice is heard through the gym and she turns around. A man with dark hair and a somewhat familiar smug face is standing in front of them with a fancy suit.

“Hardly a surprise, Merlyn. You don’t look like you’re here to train.” Oliver spits, and she’s surprised by both his behavior and the fact that he knows this man. Merlyn? She’s sure that she has heard that name before.

“Well, you’re certainly clever. And who is this, might I ask?” The man directs his eyes at her and studies her intently. She doesn’t get scared by this man, but a somewhat nagging feeling tells her he isn’t someone to be trusted.

“I’m Felicity.” She tells him, and he nods. He doesn’t offer his hand, instead he studies her face some more and then turns his gaze towards Oliver. He seems pretty hostile against this stranger.

“So, Oliver, I actually wanted to ask you in person for a meeting with me.” Oliver tenses up beside her, even though his body tensed up a lot once the man started talking. “Call me paranoid, but I don’t trust your assistant to help me out much on that part.” Oliver doesn’t seem much affected by his words.

“No, I don’t wish to have a meeting with you Merlyn.” Oliver growls. “I know exactly what it is you want, and let me answer you that it won’t happen. It doesn’t matter that you’re Tommy’s dad and that he works with you, it will never happen.”

“Well, you should at least consider it. Merging our companies together would benefit us both.” Merlyn seems calm.

“No. I’ve connected the dots, you see. I’ve looked through my company’s history, and when the company faced bankruptcy, we suggested for our companies to merge. By then you declined as fast as it was presented to you. Yet, once we are at our own feet with yet again solid business, you’re the one coming to us.” Oliver baffles her with his words. “Your company isn’t doing so well, is it? Why else would you suddenly ask for this?” She looks up at Oliver, who is eyeing Merlyn intently.

“All I ask is for an hour of your time- “

“No. Get the fuck out of here.” Oliver yells, and the whole gym goes silent. Merlyn looks around nervously before turning around and walking out.

“Who was that?” She looks at him, and notices how his eyes pierce into Merlyn’s back as he disappears out of the gym. His breathing is heavy, and he gently shakes his head once he is out of the gaze.

“He’s, um… He’s Malcolm Merlyn. Tommy’s dad. He and my dad were… Well, friends you could say. He was never nice to me, or Tommy.” He finally glances down at her and smiles slightly. “Let’s continue, yeah?” A loud bang interrupts them before they can even start, and a man with dark wavy hair steps into the gym. The man is incredibly good looking, with perfect hair and a very attractive face, yet when she sees him she gets an odd feeling in her stomach. Something similar to fear.

“Queen!” The man yells towards Oliver, and Oliver avoids looking his way. His breathing steadies as he holds onto the bag. “Been looking for you for days.”

“Get the fuck out, Fields.” Oliver spits. Seems like he has it out for everyone today. She keeps wondering what it is that he has against everyone.

“No, I don’t think so. Wow, so you got yourself a girl, yeah? Nice, I wouldn’t want anyone else than your girlfriend to see me kick your ass today. Come on, I want a rematch.” The man laughs at Oliver’s pissed off face, and finally he looks towards the man.

“Look, I don’t want a rematch. Last time I kicked your ass so bad that you almost got killed. You really want to risk that again?” Oliver spits, and the man doesn’t even flinch at his words.

“Yes, you and me. Right now. Or, you know, I could tell my boss you’ve been bugging me lately. He sure wouldn’t mind paying this one a visit.” The man points at her and gives her a creepy smirk. Oliver tenses up at his words, and she expects Oliver to look pissed as hell, but instead he almost looks… frightened.

“Felicity, we’re done training.” He says softly to her. His eyes find hers and he nods to her.

“Oliver, if you’re going to fight… Just be careful, okay?” She mutters to him and he nods again.

“Could you stay? Please?” She’s hesitant to say yes, because the sight of Oliver fighting really is something she could do without. She’s already witnessed enough. Besides, she doesn’t want to see him get hurt again. His eyes keep looking into hers, pleading for her to stay with him and watch him fight. She nods, and he plants a kiss on her cheek.

“Wish me luck.” He mutters and she smiles slightly at him.

 

When the referee blows his whistle, both Oliver and the man which she had learned was called Lucas Fields, both started circling each other. They both land a few punches, but she soon notices that Oliver is much more skilled than the other man. He dodges almost every punch or kick that Lucas throws him, but Oliver manages to land solid hits on him.

Right after Lucas gets kicked pretty nastily in the gut, she witnesses something she was afraid of all along. Lucas soon stumbles onto his feet again and she watches as he lands a solid hit onto Oliver’s face.

The move surprises both of them, and Oliver has barely moved. Only his face is staring down at the ground. His body barely reacted to the blow on his face, and now she can see his heavy breathing. With an emotionless glare he looks up at Lucas. It’s weird, somehow she can see how he changed in those seconds. His body reacts as if he is not controlling it himself, and he focuses only on hitting and kicking Lucas. Soon enough he has him pinned to the ground, and the blood splatters as he hits him repeatedly in the face. His face still holds no emotion, and his eyes are staring blankly into nothing as he punches and punches. This. This is what she was afraid of. He has told her he blacks out, but she never wanted to see it for herself. She stands up from where she is sitting and runs out of the gym with tears in her eyes. She feels her breaths coming out in heavy pants, and she feels like she can’t breathe. The way he had looked…

She puts on one of her hoodies once she is inside the locker room and runs out of there with her phone in her hand. She calls Caitlin as soon as she is out.

“Hey, Cait.” She says, and she knows that her voice is shaking like hell.

“Felicity? Are you okay?” Her friend’s voice is concerned, but at the same time she gets the feeling like she hadn’t expected her to call. Caitlin had been a long friend of Cooper’s, and she hadn’t really expected her to take her side when they called things off. Either way, she still had some hope that after the way things ended that she’d sympathize more with her.

“I’m… Can I stay with you tonight?” She knows Oliver will freak out, and she knows he will be really mad that she’s staying with Caitlin after she just returned, but right now she feels like Oliver can’t be on her list of priorities. She needs to stay away for a little. After all she witnessed just now, she can’t just let it slide.

“Yeah, sure. Tell me what happened when you come over. Talk to you soon, okay?” She feels as though Caitlin is a little occupied at the moment, but nevertheless she is grateful that she told her it was okay. After all, they have been friends for five years.

“Yeah, bye. I’ll come over soon.” She ends her phone call and starts walking down the street. She is still wearing the ugly and sweaty clothes. She really needs a shower.

“Felicity!” She hears his voice behind her, and she turns slightly to see his worried face turned to her. He runs towards her and she sees the guilt on his face.

“Please, just go away Oliver. I need you to stay away for a bit.” She can feel the tears and the fear building up. His face is like a lost puppy, his eyes glassy.

“I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have done that. I don’t know what happened.” His voice is full of sadness and guilt.

“Oliver…” She feels the tears running down her cheek. The way his eyes had been so merciless… It’s like he couldn’t control himself.

“I can’t say that it won’t happen again, but I need you to know it will never happen to you, okay? I won’t ever hurt you, Felicity. I promise you that. I won’t hurt you like he did.” She sees the tears running down from his panicked eyes, and she knows he means it. She knows he won’t hurt her, but she still needs to get away for a bit.

“I… Oliver I just need to take a little break.” He nods understandingly, and looks down at his feet.

“But you’ll come back, yeah?” He looks up at her yet again with hopeful eyes.

“Yeah.” She answers with a whisper, and looks up at him once more before turning away and walking. She knows he’s looking at her as she disappears.

 

When she arrives at Caitlin’s apartment, Caitlin rushes out just as she enters. She explains that she has to pick up her boyfriend Ronnie and drive him to the airport for his business trip.

“You can borrow some clothes and shower and all that, and even make some food if you want. However, I’m super late so I have to go!” Caitlin sings as she brushes past Felicity and closes her door. She does shower and borrow her clothes, but she doesn’t bother making any dinner so she orders a pizza instead. The thought of Oliver never leaves her mind, his face when he had lost all control earlier, and then his face when she had left him at the gym. His eyes had gone from cold to sad. She doesn’t exactly know why she’s so bothered by this, and she knows that this doesn’t mean the end for her and Oliver, but she can’t get the image out of her head.

The sound of the doorbell snaps her out of her thoughts of Oliver, and she opens the door before peeking through the hole. Perhaps she should have.

“Felicity?” Cooper’s cold voice fills her ears and she goes cold in her entire body. He is looking at her with the same eyes that had looked at her when he had assaulted her. She feels her breathing picking up in a fast pace, and he smirks a little. He is holding her pizza in one of his hands and she notices that he is wearing the brand’s clothes. Oh shit, she forgot he worked there part-time.

“Cooper, what…” She doesn’t get any time to continue talking before he cuts her off.

“Fancy seeing you here, in Caitlin’s apartment I might add. What happened with Oliver? Trouble in paradise already?” He laughs a disgusting laugh as he stares at her.

“Cooper give me the pizza and just leave. If Oliver finds out you’ve talked to me…”

“What? He’ll kill me?” He chuckles a bit like he’s not buying her words.

“I wouldn’t put it past me.” And she isn’t just threatening him, she actually believes it too. What she has witnessed today is more than enough to convince her that his words that night he beat up Cooper was completely true.

“You seriously think highly of yourself, and the fact that you think he actually loves you is cute. I don’t think he’ll actually murder someone for you, like you’re saying right now.” He smirks. “You were always so incredibly horrible at reading the newspapers. You know, every single week there was a new article about him and the new girl he brought home.” His words leave a pang in her chest. She grabs some money out of her pocket and throws it at him before taking the pizza and shutting the door in his face. She feels the tears threatening to appear as she steadies her breathing.

She stays with Caitlin for a week, before a knock on the door changes everything.

 

_Iris_

The smell of alcohol is the first thing she notices as she walks past a group of men sitting in a booth at the bar. A few of the men whistles after her, but as usual she just ignores it. Her interview with the mayor went far too long and the day had been so boring, so when Barry told her he had to go to work on a Friday evening, she decided to just go for a drink by herself. She needs it. She sits down by a man she isn’t sure she knows right away. He is sitting on one of the bar stools, his black hair sticking up in the front. He is wearing a suit and a slight stubble is evident on his face. When his blue eyes meet hers she notices that she has been staring. Of course she would stare, he is really handsome.

“I’ve seen you before.” His voice suddenly breaks her thoughts and she looks over at him again. He is smiling now, and his smile really is extremely cute. She is sure that she has seen him before too, but the when and where seems to have been lost for her.

“Yeah, me too. I’m Iris.” His face is suddenly hit with realization and he chuckles a bit.

“Oh, well then you must be friends with Felicity, then?” She nods. “Yeah, I knew I’d seen you around here before. I’m Tommy, one of Oliver’s friends.” Oh, Tommy Merlyn. Of course it was him, how could she not remember that.

“Oh, yeah I remember you. You sang that night with Oliver, didn’t you?” Her slight smirk makes him smile with embarrassment and she loves it.

“Fuck.” He laughs. “Well, yeah.”

“We were never properly introduced.” She remarks, and it’s the truth. When they hung out they mainly kept to their own groups. Shame, really. She is a fan of getting to know new people. She watches as he extends his hand to her and with a smirk he introduces himself.

“Tommy Merlyn, 32 and currently employed by my father at Merlyn Global.” She shakes his hand and laughs slightly.

“Iris West, 25 and currently working as a journalist at Starling City News.” He nods to her words.

“Let me buy you a drink Iris, and we can get to know each other a little better.” She agrees to that and waits as the bartender mixes her drink.

“So, you know Oliver pretty good, yeah?” She asks and takes a sip of her drink and watches as his jaw clenches.

“Yeah, about all my life really. He’s a good guy, or you know, he used to be. He’s kind of more of a fuck-up right now, but then again so am I so not that I can judge that one.” He sips at his drink, and she wonders what he means by that.

“What do you mean he’s a fuck-up?” Her direct words seem to have shocked him a bit, but soon enough he is smirking and repositioning himself so that he’s facing her.

“Well, these last few years he has fucked a lot of women, and lately he’s been strung along by Felicity. However, knowing him right he’s probably fucking up everything between them. He’s not… He’s sort of broken, you could say. He doesn’t own control.” His words slightly confuse her, but she doesn’t really know Oliver. Either way he is showing interest in her friend which makes her want to know more about him.

“And you own control?” Her question seems to amuse him.

“Iris, I like to have control in all things. I like to have control over certain situations and certain people, and I succeed in it. Oliver, however, is just a bunch of muscles. He doesn’t have the brain to sort out everything. I however, know exactly how to use my resources.” She frowns at his words, because somehow he makes it seem like he wants her to know he is superior to Oliver.

“It seems to me you have a sort of complex with being better than Oliver.” She watches as his face turns hard at her words, and his eyes glare into hers.

“No, Iris. I’m simply explaining to you that I’m not like Oliver. He doesn’t know how to control his feelings.”

“What do you mean by that?” She is noticing how his face has somehow leaned in closer to hers. He smells so good, and his eyes send shivers down her spine.

“Well, Oliver lost his family, including his wife, in a car accident many years ago. Ever since he hasn’t really loved anyone. Now I see that he is starting to fall for Felicity. That makes him an even bigger idiot than before.”

“You don’t believe in love?”

“I didn’t say that.” He sends her a smirk. “While love is a lovely concept, it does make you clueless to what is actually happening.” She doesn’t really follow what he’s saying. All this talk of control, what can he possibly mean by it. Is he used to getting his own way? Because somehow she finds him so attractive, yet still his words send shivers of fear down her spine.

“I don’t know what you mean.” She whispers, his face so close to hers now that she can feel his breath.

“Well, Oliver is more easily controlled these days, you could say.” He whispers to her. “Well, aren’t we all.” He closes the distance between them, planting a kiss on her mouth that she knows is the start of her undoing.


	10. Half a heart

Chapter 10

 

_Half a heart – One Direction_

_“_ _I'm walking ‘round with just one shoe_

_I'm half a heart without you_

_I'm half a man at best_

_With half an arrow in my chest_

_I miss everything we do_

_I’m half a heart without you”_

 

_Felicity_

_“The vigilante known as the Arrow has been roaming the streets now for months, and it is first now that he has started dropping bodies. Several murders of drug lords and criminals are linked to the vigilante, and the police are stating that people need to be careful at night.”_

Felicity tears her gaze away from the television. She usually doesn’t watch the news, although she should do it. It had become an inside joke between her and her friends that she never watched the news or read any papers. It is ridiculous, really.

“Wow, I always just thought he was this good guy that saved people. Well, I guess I was wrong.” Caitlin had apparently emerged from the bathroom and was trying to pin an earring to her ear. She was wearing a black dress, and her red curls were hanging down her shoulders. It must be another date night with Ronnie. She always goes all out on those things.

“I’m not going to give my opinion on that one. If they had the name of the person and real proof, then I can start to judge.” Felicity didn’t want to sound too protective of him, because she knows that deep inside her she wants to ask him about all of his recent activities. She needs to know the truth.

“Yeah, well he’s dangerous anyways. If you dress up in a costume, then you have to be dangerous because you don’t want anyone to know it’s you.” Caitlin touched up her makeup some more.

“Well, can’t argue with that one.” Felicity agrees, and suddenly they both hear a knock on the door. Her head turns in the direction of the door as Caitlin walks over and opens it. An unknown man with a kind face looks in at them.

“Hey, Cal. What’s up?” Caitlin smiles at the man, and Felicity keeps wondering who he is and why he knocked on their door.

“Um, sorry to disturb you guys, but I felt like it was time to tell you. There’s a guy down outside the building, and I didn’t know if he was waiting for someone or not, but he has been there every single day this week and he keeps glancing into your window so I thought I should tell you…” Cal sighs and scratches the back of his head.

“Oh, God.” Caitlin looks worried and glances over at Felicity. She jumps onto her feet right away and moves over to the window. Sure enough there is a guy standing outside her apartment building. And it’s not just any other guy, it’s the last person she’d expect by now.  _Oliver._

They haven’t spoken since she left him at the gym, his face still haunting her. However, the lack of trying to contact her had her thinking he had forgotten about her. Now, however, when she is looking at him, with his leather jacket and cigarette hanging out of his mouth, she can’t deny that all of her thoughts were pretty stupid accusations. She turns around to a terrified Caitlin and a confused-looking Cal.

“Don’t worry, I’ll handle it.” It doesn’t change their expressions, though. It only worsens them.

“No, no you shouldn’t have to do that. I’ll do it.” Cal politely offers, although she knows he has seen the size of Oliver and that he is utterly terrified of him given his own size.

“Thank you, but I know him. He won’t hurt me. Thanks for being concerned though.” She smiles at him and earns a nod from Cal. He politely says goodbye to them and walks out of the doorway and down the hall. She hurries and grabs her coat along with some shoes as Caitlin eyes her.

“That was my neighbor, Cal. I know you’re going to ask about why he was so concerned, but that’s just the way he is. Ronnie used to get jealous all the time when he would come over and check up on me, but that was before we found out he was, well… gay.” Felicity takes in the realization, and when she remembers his clothing choice it all makes sense. She usually doesn’t judge people from their clothes, but sometimes it’s too obvious not to notice.

“Oh. Well, it’s Oliver down there.” Caitlin nods with a slight smile. “What?”

“He’s worried about you.” She softly says with a sly grin. Felicity rolls her eyes at her words, because the most likely solution is that Oliver is being stubborn, like he always is. She makes her way down to the street outside Caitlin’s apartment in a hurry. When she is standing a few feet away from him, only a door between them, she sees how truly beautiful he really is. The little window in the door doesn’t show her much of him, but it’s more than enough to see his beautifully torn face. His blue eyes are staring sadly onto the streets while a cigarette is placed between his lips. A steady flow of smoke is coming out of his mouth. She quietly opens the door between them and stands behind him for a minute before speaking.

“So you smoke now? That’s a bad habit.” Her teasing tone surprises even her, but she doesn’t know how he is feeling right now. He turns around and locks his eyes into hers. A slight smirk is evident on his face as he brings the cigarette between his fingers and inhales before letting out the smoke.

“Figured it would look better to stand here with a cigarette rather than just standing there staring, might look creepy.” He chuckles lightly. “It calms my nerves too, and it seems I’ve been needing these all week. I smell worse than an ash tray and my lungs feel like they’re going to give out any minute, but as I said it calms the nerves.” She smiles shyly up at him as he takes another drag of the cigarette and steers the smoke in the other direction.

“Why are you here, Oliver?” She gives him a serious look, and she can’t help but notice the hurt look on his face. He takes a deep breath before answering.

“I’ve been out here all week. I couldn’t not be here, I was going crazy thinking something might happen to you.” She can’t help the quiet breath that escapes her mouth at his words. She doesn’t know if he noticed, but nonetheless he still continues. “I need you to come home, Felicity. I know it sounds strange to you that I’m worried, but I’m going crazy whenever I don’t know what’s happening to you.”

“Why? Why are you so worried?” His face is like a lost puppy’s.

“I don’t know.” He says softly and shrugs. “I just know that there is so much crazy shit going on everywhere, fucking crazy guys running around with bows and arrows shooting people, and I don’t like to think that you’re not protected.” His eyes stay focused on hers, and she doesn’t move away when he tosses the cigarette, steps forward and wraps his arms around her.

“I’ve missed you.” She admits, because it’s the truth.

“God, please come home to me, Felicity. I don’t want you to run into that vigilante guy. I need you to stay safe with me.” He whispers into her ear, and it almost makes her tell him. She almost tells him the reason to why she was actually able to stay away for a week.

“Okay.” She answers and hears him let out a breath of relief. If she told him the reason, he wouldn’t understand. He would be furious with her, and he’d never let her out of his sight. He wouldn’t understand, because every night she had gone out to meet the Arrow.

_Oliver_

The last fucking week has been terrible to say the least. Every day has been the same. He goes to work, and then he goes to her apartment. Whenever she went out, however, he had to hide and go back home. He can’t bring himself to stalk her, and potentially scare her. No, he won’t do that. It kills him every time, but he still can’t do that. This sounds weird, but he has his values. Nothing good comes from stalking people, you only find out truths you’d rather not know. Besides, it’s also violating people’s privacy. Fuck. Does his values cross each other? Maybe, he doesn’t have a fucking clue about much these days it seems. Everything is twisted inside out and everything is a mess, including his heart.

“Dude, you’re fucking miserable.” Tommy’s noise breaks him from his thoughts as he sits in his office and not doing a fucking thing. Tommy is standing with one of the items that is placed on his office desk and fiddles with the thing until Oliver snaps and grabs it from him. “And obviously you’re pissed too.” Tommy shoots him a mocking smile and sits down on one of the chairs in front of him.

“Yeah, well, it’s been a fucking horrible week.” He mumbles and Tommy eyes him carefully.

“How come?” Tommy’s question causes Oliver to snort out a laugh before staring into his eyes. Not once, in their 32 years of life, upon which he had known Tommy for as long as he could remember, had he ever asked him these things. When it seems as though Tommy won’t take his snort as a way to evade the question, he lets out a long sigh before answering.

“Because of Felicity…” This time it is Tommy who is snorting. He frowns, and soon Tommy realizes the depth of it.

“Oh, she’s really got you deep, hasn’t she?” Tommy’s tone is nothing like Dig or Roy’s were, they’d asked him that not so long ago with smiles upon their faces and a cheerful and playful tone. Tommy, however, eyes him disgustingly as he spits the words at him. What the fuck? Why would this bother him so much? There wasn’t a hint of jealousy in his eyes, so he can definitely rule that one out. He studies Tommy as he shakes off his sour gaze and laughs dryly. Something is off about him, and he knows it’s been like that for a while now. What exactly it is about him is something he hasn’t been able to figure out.

“Yeah.” His confirmation sends Tommy down a path of laughing. He frowns in confusion. “Why the fuck are you laughing?” He snaps and Tommy waves his hand as if he is telling him to wait while he is laughing. Finally, after a fucking long time, he stops laughing and grins at him.

“What the fuck happened to you, man? You’ve been telling me this whole time that you’ll never love anyone else again, yet here you sit and tell me you love Felicity?”

“I don’t love her, Tommy.” He spits. He doesn’t really know if he is lying, but he definitely can’t say that it’s the truth either.

“Oh, whatever. When’s the last time you fucked someone else? Because I haven’t seen you go home with anyone in almost two months. I mean, what happened to you? You were supposed to be my wingman, Oliver. I thought we both agreed to that.”

“Tommy, don’t you ever grow tired of any of it? What has it ever brought you?” Tommy looks out of the window as Oliver speaks, and he thinks for a while before answering.

“Well, I’m sorry, man. I just like it when thing stays as they are, and I usually get my way with these things. But I can’t control your actions here, Oliver. That you must do for yourself. However, I’m concerned about what happens to you when she isn’t there anymore.” His body freezes at Tommy’s words and his heart hammers in his chest. He breathes out, thankfully unnoticed by Tommy, as he tries to push the unwelcome thought out of his chest. If something like that were to happen he doesn’t know if he would make it. The first time losing someone was barely survivable. If he loses her too… No, he can’t think about that. If something were to be his destruction, it would be her.

 

He doesn’t stay at work long after the work hours ended. He usually does that, but this week he has been out the door the second the day ends, or long enough to know Felicity will arrive at Caitlin’s apartment before him. It doesn’t take him long until he’s outside Caitlin’s apartment building. Barry was kind enough to tell him where Felicity was staying, and he thinks that somehow Barry has ended up on his good side. Whatever, it doesn’t fucking matter. The hours pass by as he stands outside the apartment, and his gaze flickers between the people passing by this surprisingly busy street and the window to Caitlin’s apartment. He has just lit up a cigarette when a man he recognizes from previous days in this week walks past him with a terrified and curious look. He enters the building, and Oliver shakes off the strange look and takes a drag of the cigarette. Fucking stupid move to start smoking, but right now it’s the only thing that somehow takes his nerves down. Once Felicity is safe in his apartment again he’ll stop. It won’t be that hard. Smoking is actually quite disgusting, and he can’t seem to get used to it. The only reason he even continues doing it is because despite it’s terrible taste it actually is quite good too. Shit, maybe quitting will be kinda hard after all. Fucking hell.

“So you smoke now? That’s a bad habit.” Felicity’s mesmerizing voice fills his ears from behind him and he turns around to look her in the eyes. Fuck, she’s so beautiful and amazing. It’s strange how it’s so easy to think these things, but yet so difficult to admit them to others. She’s smiling at him, and it’s a thousand times better than any cigarette. He smirks at her slightly and she returns it. Shit.

“Figured it would look better to stand here with a cigarette rather than just standing there staring, might look creepy.” He chuckles lightly, surprising even himself. He hasn’t laughed in a week. “It calms my nerves too, and it seems I’ve been needing these all week. I smell worse than an ash tray and my lungs feel like they’re going to give out any minute, but as I said it calms the nerves.” It’s true. He does feel unusually sore in his throat after all the smoking. Ew, he has to stop. It’s getting disgusting. He’ll never judge anyone for smoking, because everyone has the right to do whatever the fuck they want, but at the same time he doesn’t understand how anyone can get used to feeling like that. Perhaps it’s his athletic side, but whatever it is it’s telling him he has to stop now. He will.

“Why are you here, Oliver?” She gives him a serious look, and it sends a sharp pain through his heart. Foolish of him to think she would appreciate this. On the other hand, that wasn’t his reason.

“I’ve been out here all week. I couldn’t not be here, I was going crazy thinking something might happen to you.” He can barely hear a breath escaping from her mouth, but he tries to make it look unnoticed as he continues on. “I need you to come home, Felicity. I know it sounds strange to you that I’m worried, but I’m going crazy whenever I don’t know what’s happening to you.” He surprises himself with how much he’s telling her right now, but it doesn’t matter. He wants her to come home with him. He needs her to do that. Whatever it is that she has done with him, he doesn’t want it to change. He craves the new feeling.

“Why? Why are you so worried?” His face slightly drops at her words. He doesn’t really know how to respond, because he truly doesn’t know himself. There is something, and that something is so unfamiliar to him. He can’t put it to words.

“I don’t know.” He answers truthfully and shrugs. “I just know that there is so much crazy shit going on everywhere, fucking crazy guys running around with bows and arrows shooting people, and I don’t like to think that you’re not protected.” His eyes stay focused on hers, and she doesn’t move away when he tosses the cigarette. His words hold so much truth, because that fucking Arrow guy has been killing and it’s driving him nuts to think that such a guy is in the same city as Felicity. Suddenly, he feels himself step forward and wrap his arms around her. It’s such a surprising gesture from him, but it’s still so fucking incredible too. He can smell her scent, and it feels like home.

“I’ve missed you.” She admits to him, and he can feel his heart warm as the words leave her mouth. He couldn’t ask for more perfect words from her right now, because it’s exactly what he’s feeling too.

“God, please come home to me, Felicity. I don’t want you to run into that vigilante guy. I need you to stay safe with me.” He whispers into her ear, and his breath gets caught in his throat as he awaits her answer. It feels like an eternity before the answer finally comes out.

“Okay.” She answers, and relief floods over him. He lets out a huge breath and hugs her tighter, smelling even more of her incredible scent. For the first time in a week he feels safe and at ease.

 

_Iris_

_(One week earlier)_

The thundering of her head is what wakes her up, and she squeezes her eyes shut and groans quietly. The sun is hitting her face, and that makes her obvious hangover even worse. She clutches the pillow and presses it into her face. It is then that she notices the unfamiliar scent of the pillow. Her mind races in a million different directions as she lets go of the pillow and stares into the unfamiliar room she is in. Realization hits her as she notices that she is naked underneath the covers. Of course, just fucking perfect. She has had a one-night stand… Oh, no. Barry… It’s not like she cheated in him, because they’re not really… Well, they haven’t really talked about that just yet. She knows he has some feelings towards him, and that he does as well. Yet, she still feels like she did something horrible. They haven’t even kissed, or talked about their feelings, but it still feels like a betrayal.

When she turns her head to the side expecting to see the last person she remembers from the previous night, he isn’t there. She knows she went home with Tommy, and that they had… Well… sex. She can still feel the lingering soreness of the act. Yet, he isn’t beside her.

She stands up silently and glances over at the nightstand on her side where a fresh, white t-shirt is folded neatly on the table as well as a glass of water and a box of Aspirin. She takes one out and drowns it down with water before she puts on the t-shirt and heads toward the door. She notices it isn’t completely closed, but she stops in her tracks when she hears an angry voice echoing in the fancy apartment room outside of the bedroom.

“Yeah, I know that very well.” Tommy’s voice is irritated and angry as he speaks, and even though she notices he is trying to be quiet, his tone isn’t making that a success. “What the fuck do you want me to do about that? She’s a problem, I know. It’s not as easy anymore, I’ll admit that.” She can hear that he is pacing around in his apartment as he speaks. She’s not exactly a fan of eavesdropping, but right now she can’t help herself. “Well, I suggest you take matters into your hands now, I’ve been doing your shit work for you this entire fucking time.” He pauses for a moment before he continues. “What? You want to do what? That’s fucking insane. Hey, look, I’ve been through this with him once before and let me tell you that it won’t become easier to do… Well, yeah I know what happened last time, what I am saying is that we shouldn’t have to go that far. There is a lot of other options we have here, and what you’re talking about is far beyond what I’m prepared to do… Fine, but you’re alone with it, I don’t care that I’m the more skilled one.” With that she hears him mutter an angry ‘bye’ before she hears footsteps and in a hurry she runs over to the bed and flops down on it. She can hear his footsteps as he approaches the room, and soon enough he opens the door carefully. It is apparent to her that he didn’t know the door wasn’t completely shut, because a frown appears at his face before he looks towards her.

“You’re awake.” He says, it’s more of a statement than a question, really.

“Oh, yeah, I’ve been awake for a few minutes.” He studies her face closely before he breaks their gaze and walks over the room to his desk.

“Did you hear my conversation on the phone?” He asks. There is nothing hinting of any emotion in his voice, and she can’t help but feel the cold breeze that appears inside her at his chilling tone.

“Yeah…” She answers, and her breath hitches in her throat as he turns around and stares at her with cold eyes.

“Well, maybe you were wondering what that was about, then?” He asks, and raises one eyebrow at her before walking over to the edge of the bed and sits down on it. His eyes are connected to hers as he waits on her answer.

“Well, yeah, I guess.” She answers simply, and she can’t deny that she speaks the truth. Right now, she isn’t getting a good feeling about Tommy.

“It was a business call.” He chuckles. “Sometimes business gets a little… dramatic.” He says and gets a sly smirk on his face and looks down at her legs. “My father wants to do something dramatic, and I don’t agree on it. You could say that, well, we disagree on the outcome. I believe it will only hurt our… company. While he believes it will strengthen it. Can’t blame him for wanting to do just that. We haven’t been doing as well lately.” He smiles at her before his gaze drops down to her thighs. “You’re wearing my t-shirt.” He remarks, and looks into her eyes once again. His eyes aren’t cold and blue as they usually are. No, they are black with lust. Somehow, despite his sketchy appearance, something about him makes him so… irresistible. She knows he is bad for her, and that nothing good can come out of it. However, she knows that at least one thing can come out of it, and that is the pleasure she feels with him. And that _is_ a good thing. She can’t deny he was fantastic in bed last night. Despite her hazy memory she still remembers that.

“Yes I am.” She breathes as he climbs up the bed and leans over her. She feels his breath on her mouth as he hovers over her.

“You look fucking sexy in it.” He whispers, and she feels heat gathering up in her body. “I’m going to make you feel so good, baby.” His words are raspy and full of lust as he finally closes the distance between them and locks their mouths together.

 

_Felicity_

_(Present day)_

When they finally arrive at Oliver’s apartment, the fear that it might become awkward quickly disappears as she notices how he’s decorated the place with some of the stuff from her old apartment. Somehow it feels odd that he’s done just that, because it indicates that they kind of ‘live together’ now. She decides to keep that thought away from her mind as she watches Oliver cook in the kitchen. His plain white t-shirt makes him look so incredibly good as he cooks whatever it is that he is making.

“I can see you staring, you know.”  Oliver chuckles as he applies some spices into a pot.

“Well, I really enjoy the view.” She sips her coffee as she giggles slightly and keeps staring at Oliver.

“There is an entire city behind you with an incredibly beautiful sunset, don’t you want to watch that instead?” She glances behind her, and he is right. The sky is painted a beautiful mix of pink, orange and red colors.

“Yeah, well, I’d still rather stare at you.” She watches as a smile forces it’s way onto Oliver’s face.

“Dinner’s ready.” He mutters with a smile still evident on his face.

“What are we having?” She stands up and places the coffee cup on the table in front of her and walks over into the kitchen.

“Spaghetti. Sorry, I’m not that creative and I didn’t really have much here to choose from.” He says with a shy smile.

“It’s perfect, and it smells incredible.” She reassures him. They both help each other place the table, and soon enough they are eating. It’s surprisingly fantastic.  
“This is the best spaghetti I’ve ever tasted.” She says with a mouth full of spaghetti. He chuckles and she watches as his entire face lights up.

“I’m glad.” He says with the smile still plastered on his face. It goes quiet for a little while before she comes up with something to ask.

“Oliver?” She catches his attention, and since he has his mouth full of spaghetti, he only nods. “You told me you were stranded on an island… If you want to talk about it, could you tell me what that was like?” She watches as he stops eating for a second, before continuing and swallowing down the food.

“It’s been a year since I returned home.” He says quietly. “To be honest, I’ve shut down most of my memories from there, but I do remember the nights being very cold and the food being so limited that I usually walked around hungry. The silence was a bit unbearable at first, but after the first year everything sort of became easier. To be honest, it was kind of a way to escape the world, you know? Get away from all the grief for a few years, and only focusing on surviving rather than deal with the rest.” She nods through his words. In a way, he is so beautifully damaged to her. It’s such a strange feeling, to be connected to someone in a way like this that she is feeling.

“I get it.” She says, and his eyes meet hers. It’s an intense stare. “Thank you for telling me.” She notices how his eyes change slightly. They continue eating for a while, a sort of pleasant silence looming over them as the only sounds that can be heard are the scraping of forks. She steals a few glances every once in a while, seeing how truly beautiful he is. His blue eyes are focused on the food as he eats. Somehow, all of her preferences that she used to have, like the no-beard thing, are all vanished. She has never in her life seen anything so sexy as him, with his beard and his stern look on his face that he always has whenever he thinking or focusing or something. It was a strange feeling to know someone like that after only about two months of knowing them. Yet, somehow, she did. She’d noticed these small things, and she’d started to miss them when she wasn’t around him.

“Felicity?” Oliver’s voice sends her out of her thoughts. She looks up to see him with sad eyes as he looks at her. His whole face is painted with a serious and sad look.

“Yeah?” She answers and waits for him to continue. He looks down at his hands for a moment before he continues.

“Please don’t leave again.” He says, almost like a whisper. However, she can see in his face what he actually said to her:

'Please don’t leave _me_ again.' 


	11. Night changes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: explicit content!  
> A lot happens in this chapter.

Chapter 11

 

_Night changes – One Direction_

_”Does it ever drive you crazy_

_Just how fast the night changes?_

_Everything that you've ever dreamed of_

_Disappearing when you wake up_

_But there's nothing to be afraid of_

_Even when the night changes_

_It will never change me and you”_

_Oliver_

When he looks at her right now, with her legs slung over his as they are watching a movie, he can’t seem to tear his gaze away. Ever since she had told him those reassuring words the previous night he hasn’t been able to take his eyes off of her.

_“If you don’t give me any reason to, I won’t leave again Oliver.”_

The words didn’t hold as much support as he would like to, because most likely he would some day give her a reason to leave. He is just like that, too fucking broken to fix. Either way, now he can actively try to prevent doing just that. Perhaps he could get his head out of his fucking ass now and not fuck this up. Shit, he sounds like he thinks that this is a relationship. It’s not like she has given him any reason to think that, but yet again that is how he thinks. He doesn’t know if he wants that, or if she even wants that. Who would want to be in a relationship with him? He’s a terrible fucking person with a fucked-up past, and also he says ‘fuck’ too much. Shit. Yeah, well, that word too.

He can feel her shift her legs slightly, and suddenly, without it being her intention on doing so, she brushes her foot against his crotch. She doesn’t seem to be noticing that she is doing this as she watches the movie intently, but he can’t say anything for himself. The sensation of her brushing against him makes him struggle to maintain in a flaccid state. That, however, doesn’t seem to be working. He can feel himself growing harder under her, and he immediately pushes away her legs and stands up, muttering a low ‘fuck’ just as he does so.

“I, um, have to go to the bathroom. Excuse me.” He stutters just before he rushes out of the living room, and he can feel her confused gaze on him as he rushes away from her. When he reaches the bathroom, he closes the door and leans against it. He can feel that he is already semi-hard from just her touch, so he lets out a few deep breaths before he strides over to the sink and splashes some cold water onto his face. He winces and almost screams out in shock when he feels two skinny arms snake their way around his torso. Only by her scent, and the obvious fact that no one else is in the apartment, does he realize that it is Felicity

“You don’t need to run away from me, Oliver.” Felicity’s voice is somehow seductive as she lets her hands trail over his stomach and under his t-shirt. His breath gets caught in his throat by her actions, and he feels himself reacting to them immediately.

“Sorry, I just felt like it was kind of… inappropriate.” He mutters and she giggles a bit.

“Don’t be sorry. You don’t have to worry, Oliver…” She whispers and he lets out a shaky breath. He feels her head resting on his back as her arms keep hugging him from behind while she lets her hand run up and down his bare stomach. He’s not a fucking idiot, he knows this means there is something she wants to do. His only worry is that she isn’t clear at what it exactly is that she wants.

“Are you sure you want to…?” He asks sofly and he hears her laugh softly before she stands up on her toes and kisses his neck.

“Yes.” She answers, and he doesn’t need any more confirmation. In one swift move, he turns around and locks his lips with hers. Their lips move together in perfect synchronicity, and doesn’t take long before he feels her tongue inside his mouth.

“Felicity…” He groans as he feels her push her hips against his. His hands move from her face and down to the small of her back, and soon enough they travel down to her bottom. He doesn’t waste any time in hoisting her up so that she is straddling his waist, and moves them both out of the bathroom. She never stops kissing him, and her hands find their way to his neck as her lips move against his. When he feels his hands touching her skin that isn’t covered by her shorts, he can feel electricity surge through him. The way he feels when he touches her is so amazing, and it is unlike anything that he has ever felt.

He leads them both to his bedroom, and when he reaches the bed, he gently lays her on it before crawling over her on the bed. He hovers over her, feeling her breathing pick up as he looks her in the eyes. However, it doesn’t take long until he feels her pull his lips back to her. They continue kissing for a while, and he knows he is straining in his jeans. Her hands grip his t-shirt and starts hoisting it up his body. He decides to help her out a bit, and takes off his shirt in a swift move, and he stands up on his knees as he does so, both of his knees on either side of her body.

“Holy shit.” Felicity breathes, and he chuckles a little cockily. Her eyes travel down his now shirtless body, and her eyes widen slightly. It’s nothing she hasn’t seen before, but somehow she still reacts the same every time. Her hands travel down his body, brushing past several scars and tattoos as she does so. She seems to slow her hands down when she reaches his abs, and a slight smirk is evident on her face.

“Are you done worshipping my body?” He whispers, and she looks up at his eyes, her cheeks blushing slightly as he smirks. She nods and he lowers his body down again. His face hovers over hers again, but he doesn’t bring his lips to hers. Instead, he rolls his hips against her and watches as her mouth parts at the contact. He groans when he does it again, getting some relief that he has needed for some time now.

“Please…” She whispers, and his eyes locks into hers again.

“Please what?” He whispers back, and he feels her breathing picking up again. “Felicity, tell me what you want.”

“I want you.” She whispers, and he responds with pulling down her shorts. When they finally come off of her, he gently brings down her panties too. When she is finally freed from clothes, he brings his hands to her center.

“Shit, you’re so ready.” He whispers and she lets out a breath once again. He doesn’t give her any warning before he plunges two fingers into her center. She gaps as his fingers fill her, and watches as her face gets riddled with pleasure. He removes them almost entirely before repeating his action, making her gasp once again with a low moan this time. He repeats his action more and more, and while he does so he brings his lips to her neck, kissing it softly and making her moan even louder. He can feel her walls clenching around his fingers, and her whole body is begging for release. All he knows is that pleasing her feels fucking great. It feels better than anything else he has experienced.

 

_Felicity_

She can feel her release coming when he curls his fingers inside of her. His dark eyes, which is filled with lust, is focused intently on her as he pleases her. She has done this before, but never has it ever felt this good. Something about the way he touches her is so good, and she never wants to feel someone else like this again. It’s like he has claimed her body, and she doesn’t mind it at all.

When he dips his head down and sucks on her neck, which most likely will result in a mark, she doesn’t care. It feels like he is marking his territory on her, and she loves it. She feels the end coming as soon as he releases her neck and continues kissing just below her jaw and up to her ear. When he reaches her ear, he brings his lips to them and whispers.

“Let go, baby.” She releases almost instantly as he whispers and she feels the sensation in her whole body. She can feel his eyes on her as she rides out her high and he instantly presses gentle kisses all around her neck. “You look fucking gorgeous when you come.” His head rises up from her neck and he brings his fingers, which is drenched in her release, up to his mouth and licks them. “Do you know you taste amazing? Fucking incredible…” He murmurs as he brings his thumb to her lip, his hand caressing her face. “You are so beautiful, Felicity. Let me show you how beautiful you are. Let me show you I care.” He whispers in a soft tone, and she feels like she is going to melt into nothing at his words. He cares. It’s not like he said he loves her, but something about the fact that he admits that he cares is somehow just as incredible. His eyes, which has been filled with lust until about now, is now warmer and more beautiful than ever.

“Please.” She whispers back, and he rolls off her before he gets up from the bed and starts to unbuckle his belt. He successfully removes his jeans, and he is left in only his boxer briefs. Something about the way he looks so wild is making her even more ready for what is about to come next. His hair, which has grown even more since she met him, is now a hot mess. The strands, which has gotten longer, aren’t pushed back in a neat way, no they are sticking up in every direction. He looks so incredible. While she is admiring his incredible looks, she also notices the way his face has turned from lustful to uncertain. “What is it?” She asks him, and he looks down at his feet.

“Are you sure you want this? If you don’t, it’s completely okay. I just don’t want you to… To think that I’m using you. ‘Cause I’m not.” He pauses for a while before he continues, this time looking up at her. “However, I don’t know if I’m ready for anything more…” His sad eyes meet hers, and she shakes her head.

“Oliver, I get it. I want this.” She assures him, and a warm smile spreads across his face. It doesn’t take long until it gets replaced by a smirk and a lustful look.

“Well, then let’s fuck.” He says in a low voice that makes her even more turned on that she already is. “But first… You’re _okay_ , right? Cause I saw something in the bathroom that… Um… Do I need to…?” He doesn’t complete what it was that he was supposed to ask. She frowns slightly at his question, but she nods nonetheless. There is something about the way she feels the need to have him inside of her that controls her actions. When he gets the confirmation he needs, he quickly moves onto the bed and over her, before bringing his lips to hers. His tongue gently strokes over her lips, asking for permission to enter. She lets him, and soon enough she feels his tongue grace over hers. Her hands, which has been in his hair since he started kissing her, wanders down his neck and back. Soon they reach his boxer briefs, and she gently starts to tug them down. Oliver helps her, and when he gets them off he finally is naked before her. She can feel his length is hard and ready when it brushes past her thighs.

“Ready?” He breathes out, a smile painted over his face as he asks her. She nods, and immediately after she feels his length being guided into her wet heat. When the tip of his cock is inside her entrance, she gasps. He doesn’t really waste anymore time, because in the next moment she feels him pushing inside completely.

“Fuck.” She swears as he fills her, and the pleasure is so incredible. He groans as he pulls out almost completely only to fill her again. He repeats this motion for a long time, his grunts and thrusts becoming faster and more urgent. She moans loudly when his cock hits a spot inside of her that makes her see stars.

“Baby, are you close? Fuck, you feel amazing…” Oliver grunts into her ear, and she moans at his words.

“Yes.” She says truthfully, because the pressure in her stomach is building higher and higher with each thrust of his hips. His hands find hers, and he intertwine his fingers with hers as he thrusts into her. She feels his lips press into her neck, and her release is extremely close. “Come with me, Oliver.” She whispers, just before she falls off the edge and releases around his cock. Her walls clamp around him while she moans out in pleasure, and she feels his hips start to get an uneven pace. She is still feeling her orgasm when she feels his cock twitch inside of her.

“Fuck, Felicity!” Oliver grunts as he releases into her, his seed spurting out inside of her as he thrusts lazily into her. He lets out a loud groan before he stills and collapses on top of her.

“Oliver…” She whispers, her whole body feeling amazing as the warmth of his is still resting on her.

“Fuck, you’re amazing Felicity.” He gently rolls off of her, and she whimpers quietly as he slips out of her entrance. She can feel his come dripping out of her, but she doesn’t care. Right now, she can still feel the bliss of her orgasm, and the warmth of him as he slings his arm around her waist and pulls her to him. Their chests press together, and she watches as his eyes struggle to remain open.

“Thank you, Oliver.” She whispers as his eyes closes, and she sees him smile.

“Can I tell you something?” He whispers back, his eyes are still closed and his face is riddled with tiredness.

“Yeah?” She whispers softly.

“You don’t make me forget her…” He murmurs quietly. “You just make me forget about the sad parts of losing her, and that’s all I’ve ever needed since she left. I think…” Her heart hammers in her chest as he pauses. “I think I’ve let her go, in a way. You helped me move on, Felicity. You’re constantly in my thoughts…” He whispers before he goes quiet. She can hear his breathing getting heavier, and soon she knows he has fallen asleep. For her, however, sleep doesn’t come as easily. His words play on repeat in her mind. At least until sleep finally takes over her mind.

 

She wakes up to the warmth of a body holding hers. Oliver’s steady breathing is filling her ears as she studies his sleeping face. She brings her hand up to his hair and strokes his strands gently. His breathing hitches slightly, and she knows he is awake. It doesn’t take long until he’s opening his eyes.

“Morning.” He grumbles with a raspy morning voice. She giggles softly at his sleepy appearance. He sighs in relaxation as she strokes his hair.

“Good morning.” She whispers, and he smiles at her. His hand, which is currently soothing her back, travels up her body and onto her face. He gently strokes her cheek before rolling onto his back. He lets out a relaxed sigh as he brings his arms under his head.

“Damn, last night...” He mutters with a smirk. “Went a different direction than I expected.” He mumbles and moves his eyes over to her and smiles.

“Yeah, same here…” She says and smiles at him back. Her hand moves to trace on his bare chest. There are so many small scars there from cuts and God knows what. “You sure have a lot of scars.” She mumbles before tracing each one of them down his chest and stomach.

“I know, they’re ugly and gross.” He mutters while looking down at his own chest.

“No, they’re not. I think that they’re…” She stops in the middle of her sentence when she traces a small bump of a scar on the right side of his stomach. Flashes of a memory comes before her, memories of a man inside her apartment with a gunshot wound on his right side. The man had symbols tattooed right beside the wound, and so does Oliver. The man, which she had later started calling The Arrow. He has the same tattoo and the same bullet wound as Oliver. Holy fucking shit. Realization hits her and she seems to be at a loss of breath. Oliver? Could Oliver be the Arrow? Did he plan this? Had he planned out that he could get her to fall for them both? Was it all just a lie?

“Felicity? What’s wrong?” Oliver asks with a worried tone. His brows are furrowed together with a worried look.

“I’m…“ She starts, but she can’t finish.  She seems to be at a loss of words. This is too much to be just a coincidence. However, when she looks up at his face, there isn’t anything but worry and confusion. Her mind races in a million different directions, but she doesn’t confront him about this. Not now. She can’t. “Nothing, I just thought of something. It doesn’t matter.” She mumbles. It doesn’t seem like he believes her, but he doesn’t question her about it.

 

The clock is about ten right now, and she is sitting in her old apartment. It feels so odd being in here when there isn’t any furniture. The place she once called home is now filled with memories the Arrow being hurt, and then memories of Cooper assaulting her. Either of them aren’t particularly good memories. When she hears footsteps inside the dark apartment, she doesn’t flinch. In fact, she sighs in relief. She has been waiting here for hours hoping he would show up.

“Felicity.” His low voice fills the room and her ears as the dark figure approaches her. His tall and hooded appearance doesn’t differ from every time she has seen him.

“Who are you?” She asks, but doesn’t look up at him. She hears him stop in his tracks.

“I’m the Arrow, you knew that. You’ve known that for months, baby.” Baby? No, he doesn’t get the right to call her that.

“No, tell me your real name. Tell me who the fuck is under that goddamn hood!” She yells at him, and he flinches slightly.

“I _can’t_ Felicity.” He mutters in a sad tone. She doesn’t buy it. He always says that, but what does he really mean by it? Surely he _can_ tell her who he is, it’s the fact that he just won’t tell her that is the issue.

“That’s bullshit.” She spits out, and even with the mask on she can still see his frown. Oh, it’s a frown that she recognizes.

“Why are you suddenly demanding this, Felicity? Just a few days ago you didn’t seem to mind. What has changed since then?” His voice is riddled with confusion and a slight hint of anger.

“Everything. You seem to be on a killing spree right now. Or, did you think I wouldn’t notice that?” She hisses, and he drops his expression.

“Well, you’re not exactly good at following the news…” He mumbles.

“Why does everyone keep saying that?” She mutters and rubs her fingers against her palm while she closes her eyes. It’s not that she never pays attention to the media. It’s just that… Well, she doesn’t really have an excuse. She is pretty terrible at following news. She hasn’t noticed that he has approached her and sat himself down beside her until he touches her arm. She flinches slightly, and the move makes his eyes flood with sadness. He doesn’t seem to mind her flinch for long, because soon his gloved hand is cupping her cheek. His thumb traces her cheek in gentle movements.

“Tell me what it is, Felicity.” He pleads, and she finally looks at him after not looking for a while. His dark eyes are focused on her, and his mouth is slightly smiling.

“Well, I don’t know. You ask me what has changed, and the answer is still everything. You changed. What happened to you?” His hand freezes and his expression goes blank. “You used to be a man with a purpose, one which I believed you were going to stick with. Hell, I thought you actually wanted to save this city. Now the only thing you do is go and kill everyone you set your eyes on.” His hand continues the movements. “What happened to you, Oliver?” She says and his hand once again freezes. His whole body goes limp, just before he releases her cheek and quickly stands up.

“What the fuck are you talking about?” He spits. His sudden change in tone surprises her. “Who the fuck is Oliver?” His voice is getting more and more angrier by each word.

“I’m…” She starts, but then she realizes that she used his real name. Oh frack. That wasn’t supposed to happen.

“WHO THE FUCK IS OLIVER?” He growls so loud that she flinches, and his tall frame is towering over her. In an instant, she is afraid of him. His voice, and his temper… It’s all overwhelming. But that’s not fucking right. She doesn’t take it. Not now. He’s lying, and she knows it too damn well.

“Like you don’t fucking know.” She spits back and rises up from her position on the floor. “Yeah, I’m able to put two and two together, you fucking asshole.” Her eyes are glazing with fire, and she wants to scream at him out of the top of her lungs. She doesn’t, however.

“I haven’t gotten a clue of what you are talking about, but it better not fucking be Oliver Queen.” His denial is rather pathetic. He should just give up the act, like he hasn’t caught on?

“So what if it is?” His jaw clenches at her words, and his fist angrily hits the wall beside them. “Yeah, I know it’s you.” His eyes drift back and forth between something behind her, or nothing at all, really. He takes a fumbled step back, and his hand moves to the back of his head.

“I… What are you…” He starts, but he doesn’t seem to even know what to say. After a while of staring out in the air with confused eyes, they finally land on her. “You’re with him, aren’t you?” He whispers, and his breathing starts to get louder. Her mind is starting to spin a little. How could he look so confused and fumbled when he should know the truth she is speaking? She doesn’t really know what it is that he is talking about, but for some reason she decides to partake in the act.

“Yes.” She mumbles while studying him carefully. His face twists in a disgusted manor.

“You got to be kidding me… Felicity, even I know what a fuck-up he is!” He raises his voice slightly from his recent whisper.

“Yeah? Well, you’re one to talk, aren’t you? Look at you, you’re dressed up in a costume, and you go around killing people.”

“That’s different. I might not be the best guy, but at least I can love. He doesn’t know how to. He’ll never love you like I could love you. He can never treat you the way I treat you, baby.” He pleads, but his words don’t have much effect on her.

“No, that’s not true. You can’t love me like this! You won’t even show me your face or who you really are. How can you call that love?” Tears have started to run down her face at this point, but she doesn’t understand why. She doesn’t care.

“He’ll never love you.” His raspy voice is echoing in the room, and suddenly she feels disgusted.

“And I’ll never love you.” Her words make his eyes shoot up to hers. His mouth parts slightly before it closes again. He doesn’t say another word as he turns around from her. His hands ball in fists before he releases them. He doesn’t even turn to look at her before he runs towards the window and climbs out.

 

 

_Oliver_

When he gets home to his apartment, he doesn’t see Felicity. Fucking hell. He leaves her alone for a few hours to actually get some work done, and she decides to leave. There isn’t any notes or messages in the entire apartment from her, and he starts to get worried. He should have known she would do something like this. The company has been struggling a bit lately, but not by much. He just needs to get some work done from time to time. That requires overtime at the office. Apparently that wasn’t a very good idea. Next time he’ll definitely just do the work from home. He grabs his phone from his pocket and dials Felicity. Luckily, she picks up immediately.

“Hello?” Her voice is muffled and it sounds like she has been crying.

“Felicity? Are you alright?” He feels himself starting to panic slightly, but then he reminds himself that he shouldn’t jump to conclusions before assuming something.

“Yeah… Can you come pick me up? Where are you?”

“I should be asking you that.” He chuckles slightly. Her question still hangs in the air. “I’m at home, where are you? I’ll come pick you up immediately.”

“I’m…” She trails off, like she doesn’t want him to know. Shit, he hates it when she gets like this.

“Tell me Felicity.” His voice is stern, but not mean or demanding.

“I’m at my old apartment.” His blood goes cold and his mind races to a million different directions.

“Okay.” He answers. Right now he just wants to go get her. He’ll have time to ask questions later when he picks her up.

 

The ride over doesn’t take long, and soon enough she is sitting in his car. The streets in front of them are almost abandoned. He wonders why, because usually they are quite busy.

“Why did you go to your apartment?” He asks calmly, not wanting to upset her.

“I’ll tell you later.” She mutters, and he glances over to her. She is resting her head in her palm and she looks extremely tired.

“Fine.” He answers, and he can see that she notices his sour tone. He decides to focus on the road ahead of them instead.

“Oliver, are we okay?” She asks out of the blue, and he frowns.

“Yeah, well I should be asking you that. You’ve been kind of weird ever since we fucked.” She cringes at his words and he can’t help but chuckle. He notices a small smile on her face

“Oliver, you’d tell me if there was something you were hiding, right? Because I’ve been wondering about something, and nothing seems to be adding up…” Her words trail off and she looks down at her hands.

“I’ve told you almost everything about me. It’s more than I’ve ever told anyone. I assure you, there isn’t anything I’m hiding from you. Where is this coming…” He doesn’t finish his sentence, because right when he is about to ask her, he notices the man ahead of them. He hits the brake with everything he has, and the car stops with a solid distance from the hooded man. The Arrow is staring right at them, with an arrow ready at the bow.

“Fuck!” He exclaims loudly and Felicity looks at him with bewildered eyes.

“Oliver what is going on?” She yells, and he looks at her with big eyes before he looks back at the arrow.

“Oh god…” She whispers, and he can feel his heartbeat picking up.

“Felicity, grab the gun in the glove department.” He orders, and she doesn’t flinch. “Felicity!” She quickly comes to her senses and opens the glove department up and grabs the gun.

“If he raises his bow, you got to shoot, okay?” She doesn’t say anything as he looks at her. “I trust you.” He mutters, and she opens her mouth. He sees it now, the way she glances over at the Arrow. She seems to be at war with herself about what she should do, and he knows that there is something there. Something he doesn’t know, but by her looks he can get a clear idea of what it is. “I’m going to start driving towards him, we need to escape and there isn’t any way we’ll escape him other than that turn on the right over there.” He nods towards the exit on the right. “You ready?” He can feel a drop of sweat gathering on his forehead, and he watches as she nods a confirmation. He puts his foot on the gas pedal and the car springs forward. He notices the Arrow raising his bow with two arrows aimed at them. “Felicity, shoot him!” He yells, and she raises the gun. She doesn’t shoot, however. They race towards the Arrow, and as they get closer and closer he realizes something. He’s not aiming at them; he is aiming at _her._ Just as he sees him release, in a split second he turns the car. The next second he hears something going through the glass of the front window, and he feels a sharp pain in his stomach. Everything around him goes blurry. He manages to stop the car right in front of the Arrow, who is still standing firm with a shocked and worried look on his face.

The last thing he hears before he blacks out is the sound of a gun going off countless of times.

 

 

 

 


	12. Fragile

Chapter 12

_Fragile - Kygo, Labrinth_

 

_Oliver_

 

The pain in his stomach is overwhelming and unbearable. It’s like he hasn’t really registered what has happened to his body just yet, and the only thing he is aware of is the pain. So much pain. It’s like his stomach has gotten holes in it, and he lets out breath he has been holding that he wasn’t aware of until now. It comes out like a wheezing pant, rather than a breath. His hands fumble to his stomach and finally locates the source of the pain. Two arrows have been shot right into his belly. He slightly bends into an awkward position to help with the pain. His hands use the steering wheel to hold himself up, and he feels sweat dripping down his face. “Oliver?” She says it in a low tone, his face slightly moves towards her and he looks her in the eyes. Her eyes are big and filled with terror as she studies his damaged body. She isn’t holding the gun anymore, but based on the many holes in the front screen, she has used it. “Oh god, are you okay?” He notices the tears that are streaming down her face, but his vision is slightly blurred.

“I…” He can’t seem to get much words out in this position. The arrows are angled in a slightly upwards position, almost touching the steering wheel. That fucking prick. The Arrow was aiming at her. Why, though? Why would the Arrow go after her? He could see it in her face that she has some affection towards him, but that would mean he probably does too. How could he try to kill someone that cares for him?

“We need to get you to a hospital.” He hears the desperation in her voice, and he knows what he has to do. He finds the key and turns it, and to his relief the car turns on. “We need to switch positions.” Her words linger in the air, and even though he can’t spot the Arrow, thinking about the possibility that he might come after them is making his head spin even worse than it already is.

“No. We can’t go out there. He is probably still there.” He breathes out the words, his voice deep with pain. She looks out onto the streets, and his eyes follow suit. He can see the Arrow, clutching his damaged shoulder and standing up to look at them, his whole body is shaking from the effort of standing up. Countless of red marks are riddled on his body, and his whole body seems to be having trouble getting anywhere. Yet somehow, he still manages to get up and stand.

“Can you drive?” He nods and closes his eyes before starting to move his body with a grunt. The car doesn’t move particularly fast, but fast enough to get out of the street where the Arrow is. His whole body feels like it’s going to collapse against the car at any time, but he knows he needs to get them away from here.

“Felicity, talk to me please.” The road behind them where the Arrow is currently at seize to exist, but they continue going. He can feel the taste of blood in his mouth, which isn’t really a good sign.

“I, uh. Just hang in there, please.” She whispers. It’s not enough. He wants to tell her that he needs to hear her voice because it calms him, but talking is just making the pain worse.

It has probably been another five minutes of excruciatingly painful driving when he finally allows himself to stop.

She dials 911 and tells them the location of their car. Her voice is shaky as she tells them their location. The pain just gets worse, and he feels weak. His hands clutch his stomach to try and relief some of the pain and keep the blood from pouring out of his wounds. It doesn’t help much, but after a little while he can feel the pain easing. Soon enough he feels like it’s almost gone. That isn’t a good sign either, he notes to himself.

“Felicity?” He breathes out. She scans his body up and down, her face pale and stressed out as she takes in his appearance.

“Don’t die, Oliver. Do you hear me? You’re not allowed to die!” She is crying right now, and her eyes scan his slouching body up and down several times.

“Uh…” He grunts with his eyes focused on the steering wheel. He finally looks over to her and coughs a little, his pale face smiling slightly before coughing yet again and swallowing hard. He feels the taste of metal even more now.

“Will you end things with him now?” He breathes out with a weak voice. He notices the shock and confusion in her face. Clearly she wasn’t expecting him to say that.

“Wha… what do you mean?” Her shaky voice has him trying to laugh before coughing again. He doesn’t really know how, but the idea of Felicity with the man who just tried to kill them is slightly ridiculous.

“You’re seeing someone else, and you know that I know that and that it’s fine.  We’re not together. I just saw the way you looked at him before you shot him, and I knew it was him.” It’s not like they talked about the fact that she was seeing other people, but he figured as much when she went out each night he was looking after her when she was staying at Caitlin’s.

“I’m sorry. I…” He doesn’t let her finish. He has his own intentions here. Ones that surprises him, but perhaps it only takes two arrows in the gut to make him realize what he should have done the second she came into his life.

“I think you should choose me. Instead of him. I know I’ll never treat you as well as he does, and I know I’m not capable of everything you need, but he will never be. I might. I can live in the day, and you can know my name and who I am.” He looks at her with tired eyes. She leans over and kisses him lightly. He tries, he honestly tries, to kiss her back, but he doesn’t own any more strength in him. Her lips are soft against his as the light kiss comes to an end.

“Where the hell is that ambulance?” She says with a shaky voice. He knows they will be here soon, but these streets aren’t the closest to the hospital. The thought of them maybe not making it here in time has reached him.

“This wouldn’t be so bad.” He breathes out. He feels like he is going to fall asleep at any moment, and his eyelids are extremely heavy. There is this strange smell of lemons that is filling his nose.

“What?” She scoots over to his seat, pressing her hand at his wound, his hands have fallen to his sides now, and his face is turned to her. He can feel sweat covering his entire face. There is this extreme feeling of nausea before he feels the familiar taste of blood. He coughs and he feels blood being spitted out of his mouth.

“Oh…” He says as she wipes the blood off with his sweater that she is wearing. “I meant that this… wouldn’t be a bad… way to go.” He can sense that her whole body tenses up at his grim words. He means them.

“No, Oliver please.” She kisses his mouth again, and her lips gets painted in red blood from his lips. After she pulls away he coughs up more blood, his eyes fluttering shut. “Oliver, stay with me.” He can hear the sirens of an ambulance approaching, but just barely. His mind is shutting down slowly, and he feels himself slowly drifting off to a welcomed sleep. Then there is something going through his mind like a flash of the past.

He sees his mother, the caring woman that he loved so dearly. His dad, whom he didn’t always go along with, but loved nonetheless. His little sister, Thea, whom only got so little of her life to live. Lucy, whom he cared for since he was a kid and whom he married. She was taken away from him. All of the mentioned were taken away, tragically. Then there was Tommy, and he has been there since day 1. Then John, Roy, Laurel and Barry… Hell, even Sara.

But the major part of his flashbacks revolves around one person. Felicity.

He sees their first meeting, where he was a complete ass. Then everything that came after that. If this is the end, if this is his final moment, he can’t waste it. He fucking loves her. He really does, and he has for so long. The only thing stopping him from realizing that is the fact that he hasn’t felt love since it was all taken away from him. Love has been a concept which he had forgotten all about. Until she burst into his life. If this is his final moment to admit that she is everything to him, then he needs to finally be a fucking man and tell her.

“I… love you…” He manages to choke out, but he should have told her so much more. He should have told her that she means so much to him and that she has saved him from himself and the world around him. He should have told her that in the darkness that his life had become, she lit up the way for him. And finally, he should have told her that he has never, not ever, felt anything like he does with her. Her touch is electric and ignites a fire inside of him. It’s like a drug, and completely addictive. Her voice, and laughter, always sounds like he has been deaf and can finally hear music again.

He should have told her all of that, but he can’t. The words won’t fall out of his mouth. In fact, nothing falls out at all. His eyes have closed, and he feels himself drifting off to an unfamiliar place. Perhaps this is where he is supposed to be? Or perhaps it is completely wrong, and that he is supposed to be in that bed he was laying in earlier, with Felicity’s body close to his and her scent filling his nose.

The darkness surrounding him doesn’t allow any answers.

 

_Felicity_

There’s a rush of emotions going through her right now, like something inside of her is slowly breaking her. But he isn’t gone. Not yet, and hopefully not at all. She’s wrapped up in a blanket as she sits in the waiting room. They rushed him in to the emergency room and immediately rushed him into surgery. It’s been hours, and for her it feels like days. She often stands up and walks around in the room, getting stares from various pale people sitting there with the same feeling as her. She doesn’t care.

There is a slight shock that is lingering inside of her body after his last words to her, but that doesn’t matter. The only thing on her mind is that she never could say it back to him before he passed out. She should have told him sooner, because there has been something inside of her that has known for a while. Of course she loves him, more than she ever loved Cooper or any other guy. It’s not like she didn’t love Cooper, she did in a way. But that doesn’t feel like the same kind of love. That love was just so completely different to this one. It wasn’t as passionate, nor did it make her this happy and sad at the same time. Whether that is good or bad, she doesn’t know. All she knows right now is that Oliver’s life is hanging on by a thread, and that scares the living shit out of her.

 

_(3 weeks earlier)_

_“Fuck you taste good.” Oliver’s dirty words right after he pleased her has her floating on a cloud. His mouth felt so incredibly good against her sex. When he had kissed her afterwards, she could taste herself on his mouth. Whenever she had thought about that before, it had always disgusted her. Now, however, it’s incredibly sexy. He is incredibly sexy. With his slightly tussled hair he looks like pure sex, and it’s amazing._

_He is looking down at her with the warmest eyes, and a bright smile._

_“That was so amazing, Oliver.” She mutters, and she can still feel slight tingles from her release in her body. He smirks down at her and nods slightly._

_“Good.” He mutters with a deep tone that sends shivers down her body._

_“I’ve never… No one has done that before.” She whispers slightly, not sure if he heard it at first, but his reaction to her words confirms that he did in fact hear it. He frowns slightly, as if he doesn’t quite believe her at first._

_“What do you mean? No one has ever licked you before?” She cringes at his words, not used to hearing such words coming from anyone. He studies her face closely, his arm slightly slung over her stomach as he lays himself down on his back. “Oh, he never gave you oral? Wow.” He chuckles a bit cockily before he shakes his head._

_“Well, Cooper wasn’t a fan of exploring stuff…” Oliver looks at her confused with a slightly mocking smirk evident on his face._

_“So, it was just plain fucking? Nothing more than that? You never…?” He trails off, not really wanting to finish that sentence._

_“No… Well, I mean we didn’t really do it often. Mostly that was because I just didn’t really enjoy it that much? I don’t know… Guess I never quite got as much out of it as he did.” Oliver looks shocked, to say the least._

_“He didn’t get you off?” Oliver shakes his head in disapproval as he mutters the words._

_“Not like you did.” Oliver slightly smiles at her words, and he hugs her tightly with his arm._

_“Well, princess, I can honestly say that I enjoy pleasing you. I can’t imagine why he wouldn’t want to please you, because it feels just as amazing as getting it yourself.” He mutters against her skin as he kisses her shoulder. She breathes out at his touch._

_“You’re nothing like him, you know. I know you don’t like me saying it, but you’re so much more caring and real.” He tenses slightly up at her words, but she can still spot a slight smile forming at his lips. “Promise you won’t leave tomorrow morning.” She whispers as she feels sleep taking over her body._

_“Felicity, I promise I won’t ever leave. I won’t leave you.” She barely registers his words, and she thinks that is probably why he said it too. Because she falls asleep immediately after._

_(Present day)_

Could it be that his words all those weeks ago were all just promises he couldn’t keep? Either way, his life is hanging on by a thread. The coffee in her hand is probably her fifth cup. She had gotten really tired about an hour ago, given the fact that it was now in the middle of the night. However, she didn’t want to fall asleep if they had any information. That, however, didn’t seem to happen. She sips her coffee nervously as she waits. Her eyes are heavy even though she sips the coffee, and in the end she can’t escape the sleep that takes over her exhausted body.

_“Miss?”_

There is a male voice calling her out in her sleep, but she doesn’t recognize it. It isn’t Oliver, and suddenly a pang of worry hits her and she opens her eyes.

“Miss? I’m sorry to wake you.” A doctor shakes her body as he waits for her to wake up. “You’re the one who brought in Oliver Queen, right?” She notices his handsome features. He is young, but still handsome. Not in the way Oliver is handsome, however.

“Yeah, um, that’s me.” She mutters through a sleepy voice. Shit, her head is spinning slightly from the way she was sleeping so heavily.

“Well, could you tell us how we are to contact his family?” Somehow his voice is kind of annoying her.

“You… No, they’re dead. His whole family is gone, there is no one left.” Her voice cracks in the end, and she silently hates herself for almost crying in front of this stranger even though she doesn’t know him and he doesn’t know her. He probably sees crying people all the time.

“Oh, right. Well, then I guess we have to call his emergency contact person.” The papers he has been holding for a while now gets shuffled around in his hands as he searches for something on them. “Do you by any chance know who Felicity Smoak is? Says here she’s his emergency contact person.” His words slightly shock her. Did Oliver really put her as his emergency contact person? When did he do that?

“Yeah, that’s me…” She mutters and the doctor seems to realize something.

“Are you his girlfriend, then?” He asks, and the look she gives him isn’t on purpose, but still he seems to retract his question and nods kind of awkwardly. “Well, he survived the surgery. We’ll have to observe him closely the next few days, but it seems as though they managed to repair the damages. Luckily for him there wasn’t any major damage to his organs, but he still has some damages to recover from, I mind you…” She lets out a huge breath that she has been holding ever since he got shot with the arrows.

“Can I see him?” Her voice is filled with tears of relief, and the doctor smiles at her shyly.

“I’m sorry, you’ll have to wait a few days. We’re keeping him in the ICU for now, and he probably won’t be awake for large parts of that time. I’d suggest you go home and get some rest.” The doctor studies her more carefully. “Miss Smoak?”

“Yeah?”

“We’ll contact you when he can have visitors, but I should warn you even then he might be out of it.” The doctor gives her a sympathetic smile, and she nods.

She goes home and rests, but her body is still waiting for the phone to ring the entire time.

 

_Oliver_

What the fuck? That is the first thought going through his mind when he feels himself waking up from the exhausting sleep he has been in for a while. This isn’t where he is supposed to be, or is it? Where the hell is he? What happened? He opens his eyes, although they are extremely heavy and barely lifts as he opens them. Why can’t he move his body? Well, he can, but why is it so painful? When his eyes are open, they struggle to focus as the light above him is stronger in his eyes than it should be. When his vision is finally clear, he notices the white walls and wooden furniture around him. The city is dark outside of the window, and the room is completely empty. What the fuck?

Then it all hit him like a truck. The memories flooded through him. Memories of pain. Physical pain that almost matches the mental pain he has gone through earlier. Felicity’s crying, and her desperate attempts at keeping him alive just before he blacked out. This is a hospital. He is in a hospital. He survived.

He manages to lift his hand, and notices how weak he feels. He looks up to his right and sees a bag of red blood that ends with a needle in his arm. There is a bandage covering it, but he’s seen enough of this before to understand what is happening. He had a significant blood loss. Must be it.

He tries to speak, but his throat burns when he tries, like it has dried up and the raspy feeling sends shivers down his spine. He clears his throat pathetically, barely making any sounds. It is first now the he becomes aware of the thing that is currently sticking up his nose. Disgusting. But probably necessary, given the fact that it is supposed to help people breathe. He can hear the beeping of a steady heart rhythm in his ear.

There is a sound coming from a door handle in the other end of the room, and some stranger walks in with a chart in his hand. He is sort of geeky-looking, but he has a white coat and a stethoscope around his neck so he assumes he is a doctor. He walks straight to the bed Oliver is currently lying in, with his nose practically sticking into the chart while scribbling something with a pen. It is first when he folds the chart and hangs it on the bed that he notices Oliver is awake. He is wearing mint green scrubs, and he looks rather young for being a doctor.

“Oh my, you’re awake.” His scrawny voice fills his ears, in a somewhat unpleasant way. He can’t help but frown slightly. “I’m the resident on your case, but I’ll call on the attending immediately to check up on you.” He smiles and strolls out of the room. What in the world? Less than a minute later, a slightly older man walks in with a white coat, a white shirt and a gray tie. He has a pair of glasses hanging low on his nose, and he looks at him for a while before he picks up the chart.

“Good, you’re awake Mr. Queen. Do you know what happened to you?” He waits for an answer from Oliver, and he tries to answer.

“I… was shot.” He chokes out in a raspy voice which is barely understandable.

“You were in an accident, yes. There were two arrows shot into your stomach, and we were able to remove them both without significant damage to your organs. However, the injuries were quite severe, and given the trauma your body went through, we weren’t completely sure you would get through it without some kind of backfire from your body. There were some complications in the surgery, you see.” The doctor proceeds to talk a bunch of medical shit he doesn’t understand anything of. How could anyone expect anyone to understand that in this condition? He just survived two arrows to the gut.

About half an hour later after the doctor proceeded to go out of the room after explaining the treatment plan, a knock is heard on the door. It opens immediately, and Felicity walks in. Her eyes are red and purple with exhaustion, and her face gets flushed with relief once she sees him.

“Oliver, thank god you’re okay.” She mutters and strolls over to him. Her hands cups his face lovingly, and the warmth of them is extremely welcoming.  
“Hey, ‘Licity.” He mumbles, with a low voice that is far less painful than normal talking. She sits down on the chair next to the bed and takes his hand in hers.

“How are you feeling?” Her voice is shaking, and he notices how bewildered she looks.

“I’ve been better.” He chuckles. Talking is getting easier and easier. “You look tired.”

“Yeah, well, so do you.” She mumbles, and he chuckles lightly.

“It’s great to see you.” He says, and her face lights up slightly. He knows what he has to say, because the dreams he has had is evidence that he can’t hold on to it longer. He can’t suppress the memories anymore. “I need to tell you something.”

“Okay, tell me.” She urges him on, and he swallows before talking.

“I’m not the saint you’ve been painting me as these last months. Actually, you know I’m not saint, but what I’m trying to say is that I am actually way worse than you think.” She looks at him with big and confused eyes.

“What are you talking about, Oliver?”

“I had this dream when I was having surgery. Or rather, remembering things how they really were. I’ve been fooling myself for all these years, and I completely forgot the truth.” Felicity shakes her head and looks at him with concern.

“What truth?”

“I’ve always told everyone about how much I loved my wife, and my family. I’ve told them about how hard it was to lose them, and it was. Believe me, you don’t know the first thing about how hard I took it. Actually, when I returned after the island I bought a gun and stashed it in my dresser and had a bet with myself that if nothing changed, if I felt like shit, I’d kill myself in a year. That obviously didn’t happen, and I’m so grateful for the reason to that. It was you, because a week before the anniversary of me buying that gun, you came into my life. Now, as I experienced how close I was to dying, I realized how I don’t really deserve to survive this.” Felicity has tears in her eyes by now, and he does too. “The day my family died, was also the day I was going to tell her that I was leaving her. When she got into that accident I was on my way to tell her that I was leaving her and our child.” Felicity’s shocked face pains him in so many ways, but she has to know the truth.

“I had been fighting with my dad that day. We didn’t speak much, but he had finally figured out Lucy was pregnant and he thought that was the final reason for me to come back to the company. I told him I’d never do that, but he told me how a child didn’t deserve to have me, a lousy fighter, as a father. I believed him, and it all hit me like a truck. I couldn’t be a father at that age. So, I was going to bail, because I’m a fucking coward and I knew I’d be a terrible father. So after fighting with my dad like never before, I was going to fucking leave my pregnant wife, on my birthday. However, when I got home I saw that she wasn’t there, I waited. I finally got a call about three hours later and they told me the news.” Felicity looks sad as she listens to him explaining his regretful past. She doesn’t speak much.

“I don’t think that makes you a terrible person, Oliver. You were scared, and I get that.” Her words make everything better, but the feeling of guilt and misery still lingers in him. “I still have one question though.”

“Yeah, what is it?” He waits for her question, and she seems to be puzzled about what to say.

“What should we do now? How do we go on after this?” He looks at her for a while, thinking about her question.

“I don’t know what we should do about us, but I do know one thing that we have to do.” He swallows before continuing, averting his eyes to look into hers. “We have to find out who the fuck that Arrow guy is, and we have to end it.”


End file.
